Whiskey Fire

Marinus van der Lubbe, You're on in Five

Among the most predictable events of the next two years is a terrorist, or "terrorist," attack on a Trump property somewhere in the world, perhaps even in America.

The intention behind this attack will be the destruction of American democracy.

It will probably work, too.

If I were evil, that's how I'd play it. 

 

 

Dumb Things Said By Dumb People about the History of Immigration

Here is a dumb mustache saying something dumb.

Religious oppression was one reason many of our ancestors came to America. They wanted to escape rulers who demanded that everyone worship their way. In Ireland, Catholics couldn't vote or own a gun.

I kind of know a lot about the history of Irish immigration to the US. "I'm a Catholic and I cannot own a gun" is the subject of approximately zero heart-rending ballads as regards emigration motives. But then again I am unaware of the Catholic religious belief "you get to have a gun." The Jesuits misled me badly on that score, I guess.

I'm reasonably sure -- just guessing -- that John Stossel is a fucking imbecile.

 

Dopey n' Desnore-um Yecch

Incredibly expensive machines are now landing on foreigners, whereupon they explode, their innards dangling from local flora in the manner of wholly motherfucked participles.

Nuts.

Tomasky:

So this war could end up being the disaster critics are predicting. But already, it’s not some other things. It’s not a morally dubious hegemonic enterprise built on a pile of lies. That may or may not give it a better chance of success, but at least it means we don’t have to be ashamed of what our country is doing.

It's not Bush W's war.

Right.

Great.

Sure.

So that's the standard, then?

"At least we're not George W. Bush?"

Okay then.

Yep.

Great.

Where I Stopped Reading

In the second paragraph of this Jennifer Rubin drivel:

Jonah Goldberg has an exceptionally insightful piece explaining just how ...

— M. Bouffant

Just Saying

The street value of a single milligram of royal meconium must be in the billions. Shit is pure black platinum.

Tonight's Youtuber Is Dedicated to Dianne Feinstein

Luminaries such as Karl Rove, Lindsey Graham, Ari Fleischer, Saxby Chambliss, and John Yoo are all defending Obama's NSA spying.

Isn't that fine company? Doesn't that make you feel good about this policy? But tonight's song is dedicated to Dianne Feinstein, who is very upset that some criminal/patriot let the people know what the government is doing.

How did Dianne become one of the richest members of Congress? That's right...the old fashioned way.

For you, DiFi.


UPDATE: That is, of course, Dianne Banker Buttlicker Margaret Thatcher Feinstein, a dragon-lady with no fuckin' heart.


Posted by ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© and cross-posted at my place. Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions.
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"Get the fuck back in your fucking hole, now!"

When we want to hear from you again, shitwhistle, we'll say, "tell us your shitheaded opinion and go paint another fucking by-numbers of a puppy next to the sink."

MAS. Your dad is a fairy.

And thus we Advance the Discourse, eh? (Their comments section seems to work fine, and bully for them...)

MUCHO MAS. I really am sorry for the comments weirdness. Youse all are like the obnoxious dysfunctional family I actually like, as opposed to the obnoxious dysfunctional family I had to go to family with. So bear with it, redsnouts.

The Short Joust

The a lot of reasons why there's not much talk in Serious Circles anymore about the hideous disaster that was, and is, the Iraqi Adventure. But one such reason that deserves attention is that the only way Serious People ever discuss any fucking thing ever nowadays is in terms of bullshit competitions of at most a week's duration -- and where yesterday is garbage.

Here look. Duncan is totally right that Richard Cohen is very good at what he does, even when you can look back and want to throw up upon contemplating what he did.

But the key here is not simply what Cohen did or said; sure he was a dick. But he was hardly alone in this madness. The point is to identify the reasons why this madness took hold so powerfully among the class to which Cohen belonged.

And you can't forget that while to the vast majority of the inhabitants of this planet the clever turns of phrase of people like Cohen are utterly meaningless, in the intimate world of the Village Cohen likely dined out for years on "fools and Frenchmen."

These people compete very intensely against each other. The New York Times and WaPo opinion pages are not meant to inform anyone of anything. They are lists in which morons don elaborate heraldry to engage in fancypants shitheaded jousts.

In such competitions the prizes are awarded, say, weekly. Being proved right ten years later? Who the fuck cares about ten years later?

I agree with everything Scott says here. I remember the dsquared post referenced vividly; I remember reading the original and thinking "I knew that from Irish history, and also from trying to get contractors to give honest quotes on the roof, that the Iraq war was stupid."

The insight here is not that "fibbers lies are useless," but that "people who want to 'win the week' need to shut the fuck up about policy."

They won't. But what's poignant is that these contests aren't even over money.

They are over the weird Rules of Who Rules Pundit Mountain.

Out of the Barracks

One supposes that certain critics sincerely believe they have a point of some sort as to improprieties regarding "reporters" and "law enforcement" and "double standards" and the Petraeus Affair.

One... supposes.

But such finger and tongue-wagging smuggeries are mere priggish prudery.

So -- General David Petraeus has been "caught" having an affair with someone not his wife.

So -- General David Petraeus has been revealed as possessing an illicit, "dangerous" sexuality.

So -- what?

The cant! The hypocrisy!

Let us all face the truth. Let us stride manly forth into the daylight and say YES! YES! THIS IS WHO I AM!

Let us be bold. Let us be honest. Let us... be true to ourselves.

Admit it:

Who among us, in America, does not want to fuck a General?

Yes, we have all heard the slander, we have endured the pervasive cruelty. We have often been accused of being, as they say, generalosexuals. Or worse! But let us own the epithet. Let us say, loud and proud: I am an American, and I am a General-fucker.

Republican or Democrat, we have all wanted to fuck General Petraeus; we have for years cast him coy glances, batted our eyes, simpered, primped, and preened, flirted shamelessly, desperate for his favor, his manly charms.

Don't deny it!

That dear, dear David has cast his favors upon an unworthy BITCH, excuse me, TROLLOP is the polite term I am informed, must not discourage us.

Someone else will come along just like him soon enough, and since we will be faithful and true and sincere general-fuckers, we'll stay steadfast and unchanging, and be rewarded by getting well and truly fucked in the end.

I mean, not quite as fucked as certain foreigners, sure, but whatever.

Just BELIEVE.

MAS. In an apparent effort to make this all even more inane, were that possible... "Tuesday, the house remained quiet aside from the media circus.  A woman could be seen inside the home's large bay windows, but it was not clear if it was Jill or her twin sister."

Don't you fuckers know there's a war on?

Whiskey! Democracy! Fuck Me!

Golly. It sure is a mystery why whenever them fuzzy l'il foreigners get the right to vote, they totally forget that the True Meaning of Democracy is "voting however American shithead politicians demand they vote."

MAS. This is also wonderful. Power Tools!

Let’s hope that the Obama administration doesn’t follow the Jimmy Carter playbook for dealing with revolutions in strategically vital Islamic nations.

Once upon a time, way back ten years ago, we had to invade a strategically vital Islamic nation to Create Democracy. Now we need to maybe consider attacking a strategically vital Islamic nation because of Democracy.

Hooray!

Power Tools explicitly informs us that the best thing we can do for the peoples of Strategically Vital Islamic Nations is to maintain proxy military dictatorships.

Truly, they hate us for Our Freedoms.