Michael Foghorn Huckabee does, he does declare that them Democrats, he does say, them Democrats, they do believe that the women, son, the women are un-able to control their more carnal desires, and are thus en-couraging SHOCK-ing behavior. Why, he says, they do believe that all the women are desperate to say nothing but yeh-heh-essssss.
Anyhow, Foghorn H:
"If the Democrats want to insult the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of government then so be it! Let us take that discussion all across America because women are far more than the Democrats have played them to be," Huckabee said.
Now, as this blog has a total weenie liberal audience, you all out there in Internetland may be inclined to think that Foghorn H here is being a just a mite sexist mysogynist women-warring. Ha! You Dupes! You Fools! You Pawns of the Always Pro-Feminist Lame-Stream Media!
Here is the Totally Serious and Compelling Argument as to why Foghorn H is not at all sexist and is the Victim of Big Media Smearing, and why this Sorry Episode provides a Total Repudiation of the Absurd Notion That Conservatives Have Women Problems. (As always, bear in mind the Solemn Whiskey Fire Pledge, to you, our beloved redsnout readers: do we shit you? No. We shit you not. This lunacy is sincerely told by an idiot, and sincerely believed by idiots.)
In fact, Huckabee appealed to hyperbole when he made these comments – comments which clearly perked the ears of those reporters in attendance – in an effort to skewer what he said was a Democratic preference for cradle-to-grave, taxpayer-provided contraception coverage....
Huckabee’s biting comments, delivered before a partisan audience, will be endlessly parsed and framed as just another campaign in the greater “War on Women.” Particularly by those who would frame even a march in support of right-to-life issues as a battle in this fictional war dreamed up by Democratic operatives in 2012.
The "argument" here is that the perfidious Democrats and MSM are deliberately distorting Hickabee's clever satirical point. They are pretending that Hickabee is saying that women are total sluts. However, Hickabee is instead saying that women are perfectly capable of choosing to not be total sluts by accepting his sincerely held religious view that women who use birth control are sluts. Duh!
How is it not crystal clear how Hickabee is not being sexist!
Three points.
POINT THE FIRST. The amount of non-slut American women, by Huckabee's calculus, would be about 1% of all American women.
Speaking as a heterosexual male, I'm cheered by this statistic, because I enjoy sex with women, specifically for many years now with one woman, namely my wife, with whom I have co-engendered three children: and that is quite enough, thank you. We are done with the human race-replenishing, but we are not quite done with the fucking, I don't mind telling you, and that is part of us maintaining a relationship which is about as healthy as people of Irish Catholic descent are capable of, at least comparatively speaking. And so YES the pill is a drug that insurance should cover, and NO it is not my employer's business what I want to do with the medical benefits I receive as a condition of my employment.
I'm not saying that my particular situation is any sort of ideal state; it's just how it is for us, man. But it does I think illustrate how bizarre and far-out Hickabee's radical cleric BS is: Hickabee is talking crap even from my boring minivan-driving perspective. It's absurd. Christ, it is, dare I say it... HETEROPHOBIC. My marriage requires birth control. The overwhelming majority of long-term monogamous heterosexual American relationships require birth control.
As a Healing Gesture, I hereby propose to offer a series of lectures to Mike Hickabee fans as to how they might be able to finally Come to Terms with Their Heterosexuality.
Charity is Our Watchword.
POINT THE SECOND. The Hickabee "the REAL pro-woman position is to say your insurance shouldn't cover contraception" is precisely congruent to the wingnut position that Democrats are "keeping blacks on the plantation" by supporting programs that black voters overwhelmingly support. Why do those silly black people not realize they are so silly! I guess when your head is so far up your ass that you can lick tonsil, your own shit is ice cream yummy.
POINT THE THIRD. Documentary film of Republican views of adult female sexuality.