Jonah Goldberg explains how The Left is Boring because he knows FOR A FACT who "sat in Jimmy Carter's suite at the 2004 Democratic Convention." (MICHAEL MOORE.)
As a further compelling example of how Conservative Thought Is Cutting-Edge, Jonah Goldberg explains that according to exciting, adventurous research, Noam Chomsky may not have paid all his taxes.
I don't expect young people to become conservatives, though if you want to see a true rebel on campus, seek out the pro-life Christians. But is libertarianism really too much to ask? Championing economic liberty will tick off your professors, and you can still be a libertine on weekends. And if you get rich, you won't be a hypocrite for defending your villa.
Right, because that's working so well for, uh, Donald Trump.
Here is the Bit What Kills:
And yet the kitsch of leftism still works its magic. In huge numbers, young people think they're rebelling when all they're doing is playing their assigned part and lending energy and, often, votes to a stale, regimented form of statist liberalism that often disappoints and never satisfies.
Because Mitt Romney...
WAS THE REAL.
What a tit.