Michelle Malkin's Fashion Report

Well-dressed & entirely rational, not in the least bit absurdly paranoid conservative cheerleader Michelle Malkin has the scoop: It's a fashionista conspiracy!

Talk about wearing your politics on your sleeve. An elitist clique of fashion designers has banded together to raise money for celebrity-in-chief Barack Obama and browbeat their customers into supporting him. Even worse, the Beautiful People who dress the Powerful People are putting increased pressure on conservatives to stay out of the business altogether. Out: Haute couture. In: Hate couture.

Much too lazy to do a 180° treatment of that paragraph (Substituting "armament industry" for fashion designers, Romney for Obama, lib for con, yada.) but certainly you can imagine. You can also imagine the incredible "pressure" being applied:

Diane von Furstenberg pitched in two $85 tote bags and has grown more strident about her partisan agenda as Election Day nears. At a fashion event in her New York Meatpacking District store last month, she yelled at clients: "Everyone here better be a Democrat; no Republicans!"

Wow. Not sure pressure is a strong enough word. Fortunately Malkin found someone (Pro-Romney because he doesn't like to pay taxes or a living wage to women indentured in his sweatshops? Who knows?) to reveal that it's not mere pressure but a threat! And to do a 180 that reveals where the true attacks on women come from.

Young New York City designer Bradley Scott also spoke up against ideological "persecution" in his industry. "It's really offensive for me, as a designer, to be issued an unveiled threat by someone who could exert an enormous amount of influence over my customers, store buyers and magazine editors," he told me on Tuesday. "I for one want absolutely nothing to do with this attack on women. This pressure upon designers should offend every woman in this country, not just the conservatives."

As far as I can determine the real conspiracy here was making Ann Romney appear as if she's a blind woman who lets a six-yr. old Disney Princess fan choose her clothes.

Richard Perry/The New York Times Mitt Romney and his wife, Ann, left, made cherry pies with Linda Hundt, the owner of Sweetie-licious Bakery Cafe in DeWitt, Mich., during a campaign stop in June.

See how far up Mitt Romney's ass the stick goes at the photo source.

— M. "Types In His Underwear" Bouffant