Jesus....
"I don't expect everyone to understand this, but I'm a believer and a follower of Jesus Christ and that relationship is far more important to me than any political office," he said. "For me the discussion and decision is ultimately not a political one ... it's a spiritual one."
Even Jesus Christ would have cursed and said, "Jesus Fucking Christ."
"Jesus told me not to run for president" is kind of comical, though. Buddha told you that you can't hit the curveball.