Whiskey Fire

If a man is sufficiently unimaginative to produce evidence in support of a lie, he might just as well speak the truth at once.

Genette Nicole Cordova wins the entire Internet.

She also quotes Oscar Wilde: “The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.”

 

Well Named

How could this not have been a sure sign of corruption?

Tressel has often been described as senatorial, an adjective rarely applied to a football coach; in fact, one of his nicknames is the Senator.

Most perfect nickname ever.

Suppose

Just suppose a gang of "citizen journalist" swine have decided that it is their jihad to destroy someone's life based solely on Twitter shit.

I didn't need to know this person's name.

I am curious however as to whether or not she has granite countertops in her kitchen.

If Weiner is a swine or not -- he may be. But the sheer joy taken in finding and punishing someone not at all in the public eye, and then dropping nukes on them, based upon circumstantial speculation, unweighed against anything resembling the public good except sheer partisan scalp-hunting, is creepy as hell.

I have no trouble myself with partisan scalp-hunting, but there's all sorts of lines here I wouldn't have crossed.

The American right started a war based on lies, and is currently lying about climate change. I find revolting their ideological goals and methods, and their bullshit about their bullshit defenses of their ideological goals and defenses. Other than that, the less I know about Vitter's or Giuliani's dicks, the happier I am.

The closeted gays who preen themselves on their homophobic credentials, and the family values bigamists, they have it coming, though.

But also still too Vitter Giuliani Edwards. I mean, please. MSM squawk MSM squawk.

MAS. I have not made the point adequately. I blame allergens. This is a better way to make my point -- playing off this:

Some people like to apply “Occam’s Razor” or some such test in such a situation, but I have a much easier test. I call it “Would your spouse buy it?”...

I'd say, also ask, should you divorce your spouse over it right away, and also give the FUCK YEAH to every screaming cretin with a grudge on the internets who wants to drill into the lives of possibly innocent individuals?

"Gosh, there may be more to this story" is not "HOLY SHIT LET'S GO APESHIT."

Silly Em Ess Emm...

My "test" would be "there appear to be human beings involved, can we not go apeshit, and actually confirm shit?"

That's why I get the big bucks.

Yesterday's Asshole... Today!

Rudy!

A new CNN/Opinion Research Corporation national poll shows the former New York City mayor atop the slow-forming Republican primary field.

The survey shows Giuliani getting 16 percent of independents and Republicans, with nominal frontrunner Mitt Romney a point behind at 15 percent.

Sarah Palin gets 13 percent.

I guess when you're forced to bob for turds without a blindfold, you go for the one that's oldest, as it's least likely to wetly disintegrate, and you can get a good dental grip.

A Sort of Cleverness

You sort of have to admire the inventiveness of wingnuts in imagining pretend ways that they are fake oppressed.

For instance.

The gist of the story is that the federal government is going to spend $500 million, which is the same thing as saying they will spend nothing, on trying to improve the educational outcomes of children entering kindergarten.

And at one point Kathleen Sibelius said:

"And some of those skills were missing: readiness for their math or reading," she said. "A number of children were missing the social and developmental skills which would allow them to sit in a classroom or play with others or listen to a teacher for any period of time. So I think it was an indicator that you couldn’t just test curriculum readiness.”

If you are not versed in Wingnut, you may be missing the ISLAMOFASCISM here.

Shazam!

WTF?

If half of the 5 year olds in her state were not ready for kindergarten, then maybe kindergarten is the problem. It seems to me that the real problem here is that someone would think a 5-year-old who “can’t sit still” in a classroom is a problem.  

This kind of  edu-psychocational (I made that word up) thinking is why so many of our little boys are labeled problem children.  I truly am surprised that she did not announce a new program in which the teacher can prescribe attention deficit medication to the kids “who can’t sit still.”

So, research shows that one of the main problems kindergarten teachers face is kids running around too much, and all of a sudden, from one of the aforelinked idiot's commenters:

The first step in feminizing and emasculating boys is to restrict their physical movement. Five year old boys DON’T sit still. It isn’t in their constitution. They move and explore and even – clutch the pearls – “wrassle”. If a five year old boy isn’t physically active, something is wrong. Amazingly, young boys who are allowed to move, when called upon to focus, are better able to do so. Imagine that.

In short, step away from our children, Sebelius, you Godless Marxist bi**h.

5 year olds who don't get told to sit down, shut up, and keep their hands to themselves, grow up to be...

Newt Gingrich.

Yarb

Feck.

HOLY SHIT

Whiskey Fire has had over 3 million hits since it first daybooed in 1897 as some sort of Free Silver/understays-scandal blog.

The way this works as I understand it is that I now have 3 million mindless berserker axe-warriors under my absolute mental command.

So I got that going for me.

Errr...

Any of you berserker axe-warrior dudes have any Guinness?

Winning the Future

Democrat Kathy Hochul won the special election in NY-26, usually a thoroughly wingnut district dominated by people who are worse shitheads than your uncle who is a loud paranoid asshole. What Does This Mean?

Democrats scored an upset in one of New York’s most conservative Congressional districts on Tuesday, dealing a blow to the national Republican Party in a race that largely turned on the party’s plan to overhaul Medicare.

This may actually be true. Who knows? Special elections are, well, special. But then again:

Top Republicans, including House Speaker John A. Boehner of Ohio and the majority leader, Eric Cantor of Virginia, traveled to the district to provide support to Ms. Corwin. At the same time, the national party and its allies, including the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and a group tied to the Republican strategist Karl Rove, jumped in, spending at least $1.1 million on radio and television ads supporting Ms. Corwin.

And again:

“I have almost always voted the party line,” said Gloria Bolender, a Republican from Clarence who is caring for her 80-year-old mother. “This is the second time in my life I’ve voted against my party.”

Pat Gillick, a Republican from East Amherst, who also cast a ballot for Ms. Hochul, said, “The privatization of Medicare scares me.”

Doug Mataconis writes:

It’s worth noting that, according to the latest results, about 100,000 votes were cast today in the 26th District. In November 2010, when Chris Lee was re-elected, there were over 200,000 votes cast. Today’s turnout represented, at best about 17% of registered voters.

Right. But then again, that's precisely the point. People who are likely to be motivated to vote in special elections are likely to be, uh, motivated by something.

By 2012 Democrats will probably have fucked up enough to allow the Sacred Preservation of Medicare to be a core Republican principle, but that doesn't mean that any, like, Americans, want anyone to fuck with Medicare.

MAS. As an upstate NY voter, I remember well the taxi driver I once had in that district, a guy who opined, "up here, a lot of us think, Tim McVeigh was just misunderstood." True fact!

MUCHO MAS. Via Roy, this is pretty funny. The Son of Erik stuff is as usual the true lovely.

Certainly the Democrats made Paul Ryan’s medicare plan an issue, and certainly it was not hugely popular. But to say that is why Corwin was defeated is spin devoid of fact. Ultimately, for those who think this was a rejection of the GOP’s medicare reform efforts, they’ll have to explain who the GOP candidate and the Tea Party candidate combined got more votes than the Democrat.

Because even in fucking 26, Medicare.

Which is, by the way, a single payer program.

NY26 is fucking crazy wingnut. Don't let the "NY" fool you.

Holy Cow-pies!

Here is a crap sentence.

Tim Pawlenty formally launched his campaign for president on Monday with a straight talk message explicitly geared to tackle sacred cows in Iowa, Florida, New York and Washington.

Justice demands that the person who wrote this sentence be compelled to spend a long day playing pasture-football against an all-bovine team equipped with mitres and shoulderpads.

This person's editor should be shot. That is, assuming The Politico is even edited at all, as opposed to just shat.

The metaphors here ram mindlessly together, like bumpercars propelled by concussed toddlers. Not that even concussed toddlers would buy for a second that Tim Pawlenty is a truth-talking kickass truth-talker. You'd have to get the kids drunk first before you'd even have a chance, and even then, they'd probably laugh at you.

"Political Journalists" really do think in cliches, don't they? "Tax cuts, cut spending, fuck public employees." Why, we even learn that he "took on unions." This is "straight talk." Right. To the Politico.

To the non-concussed, these are in fact conservative sacred cows, and Pawlenty just went out and fucked them. Even his stuff about cutting ethanol subsidies and standing up to Wall Street is hooey;  suggesting better ways to deal with global warming, or even admitting it exists, and then coming out with proposals to regulate the financial industry -- now that would make tasty hamburger, from a Republican. Or, fuck, from a Democrat.

When Pawlenty affirms, loud and proud, that Jesus didn't put a saddle on a dinosaur, he can be called a "straight talker."

Christ. I think I'd prefer it if the country were literally run by intoxicated children with severe head trauma. Or by cows wearing shoulderpads.

The Shoo-in

The obvious 2012 GOP nominee is Benjamin Netanyahu. Not giving a rat's ass about how the US economy actually works as long as the big bucks get funneled to the right people is basically a plus for the Republicans, and allowing a hard right Israeli government veto power over US foreign policy, well, why the fuck not.

The wingnut position is that greater loyalty and deference is owed to the foreign head of a client state than to the democratically elected president of the United States of America.

Whatever.