by va
Ladies and Gentlemen, we have found the WMD. It's just been sitting there all along, waiting for someone to discover it. Well, actually, someone has discovered it, namely, the Soviet Union, in the early 1980s. But then the Soviet Union disappeared under mysterious circumstances and all we have left is a couple maps they drew, pointing the way to the treasure. According to estimates bullshit the free market, the WMD is worth [extends pinky to mouth] one TRILLION dollars, which is equivalent to the value of every pony ever born, ever, plus three unicorns. Naturally, the WMD has to be protected. First, it has to be protected from the Afghan people, who are as we speak picking civil war teams. Second, it has to be protected for the Free Market. In other words, China and Russia aren't allowed, for their markets are tyrannical. It looks yet again like the U.S.A. and its military contractors, affiliates, subsidiaries, agents, and partners will have to go it alone, bravely and stoically, for the good of Afghanistan and laptops. This is why "they" love us.