Hmmm. The Schafly-dropping who inflicted Conservipedia upon the world was on Colbert tonight. This person claimed as one of the Fantastic Milestones of Conservipedia that it has gotten 140 MILLION PAGE VIEWS. Which is impressive. Of course, this absurd blog you are right now reading, or, more likely, are right now blinking at stupidly with malfocused bacon-veined, baseball sized yellowish spheres of malarial gristle (try to deny it, redsnouts), currently has about three million page views. Which clearly means that Jesus likes us better.
In other exciting news that signifies something important, Chuck Norris has an opinion on the opinions of professional climate scientists, and in Chuck Norris's expert opinion as a guy who knows karate, can't act, and writes barely literate Townhall columns, climate scientists totally suck ass at climate science.
Copenhagen is on fire this week, and there's far more heating up than just the climate.
Heads of state and others are gathering this week at the United Nations Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen, but bonfires already have been blazing for weeks on that European front.
Let me see whether I can summarize the chestnuts roasting on that Copenhagen fire.
It is axiomatic that chestnuts cannot be summarized, no matter how much heat is applied to them for whatever number of weeks. (Honestly. Go find a chestnut. Pick it up. Roast it. Now, summarize it. We're waiting!) Chuck Norris is welcome to the attempt, but the outlook is grim for him making sense.
Shocking e-mail exchanges from scientists at an eminent global warming research center in the United Kingdom have proved that key climate change scientists have suppressed evidence in order to "trick" the public or "hide the decline" of global temperatures.
But wait! That is in fact a wildly dishonest or else pig-ignorant misrepresentation of the truth! Or both! Egads! Surely Chuck Norris has more!
The scientific journal Geophysical Research Letters documented that ice melt on Antarctica was the lowest in 30 years during 2008-09, a fact being ignored intentionally by NASA.
Cough. Ahem. And "ignored intentionally by NASA"...? "Chuck Norris is so irresponsible, he doesn't give a shit about libel." What a Fun Chuck Norris Fact!
Chuck Norris then goes on to talk a lot of hilarious horseshit, including a reference to Monckton on how climate science is all about One World Government. Whee.
I really wish I knew what these assholes have against my grandkids that they so very badly want to destroy their whole fucking planet. Would it help if I promised to use up the adorable little imps' entire allotment of "fuck yous" in the next couple of years all by myself?
MORE. And now I note that Sarah Palin has donned the water wings and paddled into the rapidly eroding Arctic surf. Tim Lambert calls her a liar, but in his defense, that is only because she is not telling the truth. Our own va is admonished to recall the folksy wisdom of Doctor Fish in this regard: Sarah Palin is performing authentic autobiography, not talking mendacious shit, and don't you forget it, boyo.