Whiskey Fire

All These Humbert Humbert Cats Coming on So Big and Sick

As for the Roman Polanski case, I admit to not having followed it especially closely, though Scott's takes seem about right to me. The best defenses of Polanski I've seen so far have struck me as wildly beside the point (which point would be "rape and subsequent flight from justice"). The worst have struck me as apologies for rape on the part of people who think that because a rapist belongs to their intimate little magical club, he shouldn't be prosecuted for rape. From a moral perspective, to me even these "best" defenses ("best" being a heavily relative term, as in, "best of a lot of shitty rationalizations") smell like a great big pile of special-pleading bullpoop, and the worst of them sure seem to involve a lot of blame-the-victim garbage that makes me want to throw up. And that's pretty much that, as I see it.

But that said -- as bluntly as I could manage -- let's not go all googly-eyed and pretend that because I think a sick fuck of a rapist should get what's coming to him, I'm even remotely sympathetic to the Conservative Blog theses, such as they are, about the Polanski case and how it relates to Art, Feminism, and Politics. These theses, as usual, are a mess of sullen incoherent resentments gussied up as Ideas and Morality, and are also, as is so often the case, expressed in ridiculously hysterical prose stylings reminiscent of a particularly pungent Anthony Comstock sausage burp. Hello, Ann Althouse!

Is it just art, or is there a particular love in Hollywood film art of the forbidden love between the adult and child?

I thought I saw a pedophilia trend in the most honored films of 2008. I talked about that in this blog post...

I'm seeing all the well-reviewed year-end movies, and there's an awful lot of wrong-age sex. "Doubt" is about a priest accused of molesting children. "Benjamin Button," with its backwards aging character, had scenes of an old man in love with a young girl and an old woman in love with a toddler. "The Reader" had a 36-year-old woman seducing a 15-year-old boy. "Milk" had a man in his 40s pursuing relationships with much younger (and more fragile) men. "Slumdog Millionaire" shows a young teenage girl being sold for sex. I say that Hollywood is delivering pedophiliac titillation with the deniability of artistic pretension.

"Is is just art"...? No, of course not. "Benjamin Button" really did film an old woman fucking a toddler, and that happened in real life.

Or maybe it didn't. There's a bunch of nonsense to untangle here, but let's be clear about at least some basic propositions.

If Roman Polanski had made a fictional film about drugging and raping a 13-year-old, and had been prosecuted for it, I would probably be in his corner as far as having the freedom to do so goes, as brutal as the portrayal might have been. I am not, you know, annoyed with Nabokov for writing Lolita, which is a brilliant novel (in no small part because it's so damn creepy). Where Polanski went wrong was in actually drugging and raping a 13-year-old. This is one of the reasons I'm irked, by the way with a lot of the Polanski apologetics; the concept of artistic freedom applies to the freedom to create art. It's not a license to shoplift, embezzle, or rape. Or murder, Raskolnikov.

And so as for Althouse -- many films are concerned with forbidden forms of love! Shocking. Whatever will these "creative" types come up with next, why can't they write nice stories about non-controversial forms of sexual desire that never cause any problems omigod.

But moving past that. Anyone who has any familiarity at all with standard narrative tropes in English-language literature (and beyond!) knows full well that "wrong-age sex" is hardly a new titillation. It's actually the norm. As long as you recognize that the norm is "much older man/young woman." I mean, come on.

What's actually fascinating about the films Althouse mentions, is that none of them are following the standard narrative line -- older man/younger woman. To be sure, I mostly hated all of these movies. But to look at all of them and deduce "Hollywood is all about pedophilia nowadays" is silly.

Though not half as silly as this K-Lo post. Ahem, Derbert Derbert? These people are weird.

Monkeys Attempt God-Poo-Fling

Wingnut epistemology, part jillion.

Some Breitbart imp found a video of religiously inclined liberals having a prayer session in which they pray for the US to get a good healthcare system. And these religiously inclined liberals are community organizers, shudder.

But it gets even more demonic! You see, Breitbart and the rest of Monkeyland are right now rubbing themselves in an ecstasy of fumbling, because they think these community organizers are responding "hear our cry Obama." Or "deliver us Obama."

SHOCKING. But then, if you listen to the video without looking at the great big flashing text saying "deliver us Obama," you hear "deliver us O God," meaning they are clearly not praying to Obama, but to George Burns.

This presents our right-wing friends with a problem: they can't prove that the video proves what they want it to prove. So do they, you know, say "this video doesn't prove what I want it to prove"? Hell, you know the answer to this one. They say, "this video doesn't prove what I want it to prove... but it proves it anyway!"

Take, for instance, Ed Morrissey, who by this point roundly deserves to be be sealed into a giant Tupperware container to lock in right wing crackpot freshness ("did I mention that Obama lied?"):

I’m tempted to make fun of this, but the First Mate was absolutely aghast at the idol-worship connotations of this video. The Gamaliel Foundation is a community-organizing group that acts as the ground troops for Barack Obama’s domestic policies, especially health-care reform. Anyone who has spent any time in church will recognize the worship cadence of this clip, which puts Obama in the place of the Lord in prayer....

No one there seems to realize how shocking and sacreligious this will sound to actual churchgoers, who will rightly recoil at the worship of Obama as an idol in place of the actual Deity.

Update: I wonder what all of those on the Left who made fun of the Christian kids in Jesus Camp have to say about this.  I’m guessing that we’re going to hear the sound of one hand clapping.

Update II: Or do they?  After a couple of repetitions, I’m not sure if they’re saying “Obama” or “Oh God”.  Sounds like “Obama”, and my wife — who is blind and couldn’t read the captions — immediately heard “Obama” when I played it for her.  I’m not sure which it is, but it could be “Oh God” with poor acoustics.

Update III: The Jesus Camp question pertains either way, though.

Shazam! Brilliant in goofball conception, as well as attention to detail --please enjoy the "actual churchgoers" line; the worshipers in the video could of course not possibly be actual churchgoers. These folks are of course the actual churchgoers. Duh.

And then there's Moe Lane, who, as always, puts the "asshole" in "cretin":

There are a couple of times where it sounds more like “O God” – but there are a couple of times where it distinctly does not. I suggest that the Left acquire the services of a sound expert – one with no partisan leanings – if they want this one debunked.

What's up with this Frenchified "guilty until proven innocent" horseshit? If Moe and the rest of the monkeys want this nonsense "bunked," then they can go out and rent the fucking nonpartisan "sound expert." 

Anyhow look for the Obama Antiphon to reappear forever in cherished wingnut folklore. It really is a pity though that the video cut off right when it did, because I bet these community organizers went on to sing a hymn to Vince Foster's real killer. And can you prove they didn't?

MUCHO MAS. Oh good. According to the Red State captive macaques, Glenn Beck will be using this on his Scary Weeping Clown Comedy Hour later tonight (he already put it on the radio). Wheeeeee! (Gotta like the "BroBama" stuff. Stay classy.)

Y MAS. Not to nutpick, but let's nutpick! From the BreitbartTV comments, which are not the YouTube comments in that they're less coherent:

Actually it alternates……. O God then……. Obama ….or half is saying Obama….there some white people there so maybe they are saying o God….then again maybe some are saying O sheit

I agree. "O sheit" indeed.

Your Rock Is Paradise Plastic

Kathryn J. Lopez has been asking male Corner readers to write in to describe how they are "rocks" -- or at least how they aspire to become "rocks" at some point in the future, once they are done being pebbles. It is all to do with a Web Site billing itself as "The Art of Manliness," which is a Web Site where men go to read about manly things, like ocean voyages and fist-fighting grizzly bears and using deoderant and Turkish prison survival strategies ("The best way to test your breath is to ask your spouse or a friend for their feedback. If no one is around, try scraping a bit of scum from the back of your tongue with your fingernail, placing it on the back of your hand, and then smelling it"... wait, that's from the Manly Men Use Deoderant link, my mistake).

Anyway Miz Lopez approvingly passes on this particular bit of advice about how men can act like rocks more convincingly:

In ancient societies men were the watchmen to protect their families from being eaten, taken by competing tribes, and other dangers. They provided a realm of safety where their family could let down their guard knowing that the man would not let his down and they would be safe. Being the rock means being the protector, the watchman, the provider. Today our loved ones rely on us to provide a safe realm where they can allow themselves to let their guard down emotionally and physically. They know they can break down emotionally and we’ll still be there standing strong. They know we will get up in the middle of the night with a baseball bat and check that noise they heard downstairs. They know that you will not belittle them like their peers at school, work, church, etc. Being the rock means providing a place where they can find love, understanding, emotional safety, physical safety, and acceptance. Be the man. Be the rock.

Hmm. I do not claim any particular expertise in this area, as I never seriously studied the Earth Sciences. But it is my general impression that rocks are not very good at swinging baseball bats. Look at, say, Jason Varitek. (Insert gleeful comedy noise here.)

But some of the advice does seem reasonable. Who can possibly deny that if you are a Man, you must, by obligation of penis-possession, take on the job of drinking coffee all night so you can stay up until dawn tightly gripping sporting equipment in case Ostrogoths or similar show up in the wee hours to make unreasonable demands of your Own Private Vatican, such as for instance that they want to fuck your wife? (Tell them NO!) Also, Men Who Are Rocks don't get all sarcastic with their ladyfolk by pointing out that they dress like WHORES, as all their bitch friends at church are so fond of observing. Rocks are Gallant: rocks are not Goofus! And this is also pretty good:

When your wife is suffering some kind of ailment, research all about it online and come up with some remedies she can try. If she’s having trouble making a decision, sit with her and come up with a pro and con chart.

MARY. Urk!

JACK. Mary! My sweet, my love! I have been researching your ailment online...

MARY. Urk...?

JACK. Is there anything you would like me to tell you... about Midol? I have here -- oh dear heart! -- a list of frequently asked questions...

MARY. URK! URK!

JACK. And, turtledove, that is not all! In order to help you come to a decision as to whether or not this remedy is right for you, lambkins, I have taken the time to draw up a "pro and con chart" that we might now examine. (Chuckles) I suppose we might call it a -- (chuckles again) -- flow chart!

MARY. URRRRRK!

Don't worry -- Jack survives. He is, after all, a rock, and thus can be repeatedly bludgeoned with a baseball bat or a similar blunt instrument and yet withstand permanent debilitating injury.

But it's one of K-Lo's email rock correspondents who sums it up best:

No, you don't hear much or anything along those lines today.  Certainly not in the media or in popular culture.  Pop culture glorifies the metrosexual, self-involved, overly-sensitive guys who have "man-caves" and get "man-crushes" and such.

 

But, for those of us who try to live as the rock, it's not for us to boast about doing our duty.  We simply do it.  To talk much about it would be glory-seeking, which is kinda the opposite of the point.

 

Maybe you should ask our wives instead.

Maybe!

I like this ersatz nostalgia for the time when Men Were Manly, since it's so wonderfully confused. "Metrosexual" is a lament about men today acting effeminate; "man-cave" is a lament about men today acting like beer commercial stereotypes. Presumably, though, Real Manliness is a state of grace from which we have fallen -- the 1950s, maybe, when gender roles were SETTLED GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! Of course this was also a time when women were powerfully discouraged from going into higher education and the various professions... SHUT UP FAIRY GOD-MOTHERFUCKER! DAMMIT! Or maybe there is more ideological farting around here than there is a mature grappling with historical realities. It's just barely possible.

Look, where that "Manliness" site offers some good advice -- and some of it is good advice -- it's because they're giving reasonable recommendations about how to be a good person. Or else they're just giving handy outdoorsy tips -- but then, my point is, what the fuck is so essentially "manly" about building campfires?

I suppose this class of stuff is all right if it encourages someone to accept the argument that you shouldn't act like a jackass because acting like a jackass violates the Manly Code, but with my own kids I'm just going to skip a step and try to teach them not to act like jackasses, however they perceive their Gender Roles in the Brave New World That's A-Borning. Hell, they can even act like rocks if they like, though most of the people who get into that "Man Be a Rock" shit -- to me, anyway -- come across like self-absorbed, self-flattering, pompous, judgmental shits. But hey, they seem to be having fun, God bless 'em.

Pretty Bombs

Excellent news for nutjobs! According to the always accurate and never at all hysterical Daily Express, Saudi Arabia has given Israel permission bomb Iran:

INTELLIGENCE chief Sir John Scarlett has been told that Saudi Arabia is ready to allow Israel to bomb Iran’s new nuclear site.

The head of MI6 discussed the issue in London with Mossad chief Meir Dagan and Saudi officials after British intelligence officers helped to uncover the plant, in the side of a mountain near the ancient city of Qom.

As you are no doubt aware, according to the US Constitution as interpreted by geniuses of the Mark Steyn class, this Saudi move compels President Obama to launch nuclear missiles at Tehran no later than 9PM EST next Wednesday.

Steyn wonders "when MI6-Mossad-Saudi confabs started being written up in the tabloids," which is actually a good question, suggesting as it does some rather incompetent top-secret spy-chatting. Of course Steyn doesn't want anything to interfere with his war-porn stiffy, so he doesn't say that the story is, very probably, hooey. As is this:

Details of the talks emerged after John Bolton, America’s former UN ambassador, told a meeting of intelligence analysts that “Riyadh certainly approves” of Israel’s use of Saudi airspace.

Well, there's a scoop from an unimpeachable source! If you believe that Saudi Arabia is going to ally themselves openly with Israel to bomb another Muslim nation, and that this would be a good thing for the world, you're, well, probably just nuts enough to take John Bolton seriously.

Oh

My

What is most fun about this is the sheer impenetrability of the writing. The hell?

Whatever. The following is the Classic Wingnut Sentence, the one that rules them all, and in the darkness binds them:

And as a non-lawyer who once toyed with going into law, I see several areas where a judge (especially in very, very blue Maryland) might rule in their favor, by the precise letter of the law, but most people would laugh in their faces.

The claim to authority here is fantastic: "oh yeah? You think you know the law? Well. I once idly considered becoming a lawyer, but then I said 'fuck it.' TASTE MY STEEL!

Bleargh

Well, crap.

Friday night, I crashed your party

by Ripley

OK, now that that's out of the way...  Big News, kids!  Really big news!! 

What?  No, I didn't get married or anything silly like that.  I bought an iPod.  A real live iPod.  Huzzah!  And while I was in the store, I thought, "Y'know, I should get another hard drive to back up my music and photo hard drives."  So I bought a 500G hard drive, took my happy fun time bag o' goodies home and... my music drive wouldn't start.  If you've ever sat there, listening to the maddening "beep beep beep" of a hard drive that won't quite power up, you'll understand the mental and verbal fuckstorm that tore the paint from the walls and sterilized the neighbors and their animals.  Fortunately, we were able to resolve that problem and the drives were backed up to a shiny, new drive.

Now, about this iPod.  Great product.  Takes some time for a (youthful and terribly handsome) 43 yr. old guy to figure out the menu and what have you, but I'm generally impressed.  Except for one thing...  the damned ear-thingies.  The left one will not stay in my ear.  This lead me to two conclusions - 1) Apple has a production defect in their "L" ear bud or 2) there's something drastically wrong with my left ear holey-thing.  Now, I know there are a lot of Apple fans out there, so I'll defer to your judgement and, for the time being, assume the problem is with my left ear hole.  (I hate to do this, kids, but I have to - the advantages of modern technology demand that I make this request.)  Is there anyone out there - anyone? - that could send a few dollars my way?  It's not that I don't have enough money to live but, well, I'm guessing I probably need some kind of ear surgery to make an iPod ear bud fit correctly.

Seriously, if Bob Owens can bleg for a new grill... c'mon...

Oh, speaking of people actually helping people (check it, Bob!), if you haven't heard, I've been fortunate enough to help a couple Iraq vet families.  I'm a principal in The KINship Project, a little group that's worked to help some folks online with holiday gifts, utility bills, and general financial micro-assistance.  And I was very fortunate to have an opportunity, this summer, to work with a gentleman who's dedicated his time to assisting vets.  You can check out the story at these links:

The KINship Project helps a vet's family

llbear helps a vet's family

We were able, with the help of many online folks and some good hearted people in the area, to move a disabled Iraq vet and his family into new housing.  That means this vet doesn't spend half his day on a bus now, going to school and back home. His 3 yr. old son has a real bed and a fun bedroom now.  The family has groceries in their pantry and they don't have to worry about the end of the month.  Annnnnd... we were able to move another disabled Iraq vet and his family from Kentucky to Dallas.  A family that literally moved with nothing but the clothes on their backs and our personal promise that we'd take care of them.  Now they're receiving the benefits our vet has earned - temporary housing, medical attention, proper financial benefits...  And you know what?  I'm proud as fuck about the little bit I did for these families, and I'll do it again.  And it wasn't that much, honestly - llbear and some other folks did the heavy lifting.  

On the plus side, I did knock down the Sun Sphere. 

What?  Sorry, just shifting the tone for a moment.  Hey, did you hear the news?  OMG, you probably didn't!  We're putting the band back together, honey!   Yes, my 40-something buddies and I will be playing the rock and/or roll in a few weeks.  Exciting, isn't it?  I'm no Mike Huckabee, but I've been known to stomp some bass and, Odin be praised, I can still sing a few high notes.  If you've never been to a local bar and heard a band play Jay Ferguson's "Shakedown Cruise", well... (go ahead, run off to your iTunes store - you know you want to)

It's Friday night so go have some fun, you rascally kids!  You'll be waking up in Heaven cuz you've been through Hell.

Rip -

Are You Amplified to Rock?

Obviously I'm pleased that the Miami Hurricanes seem to be on the way back to the top. Early days yet, of course, and who knows what will happen in Blacksburg tomorrow, what with the predictions of crappy weather and the rivalry game and all.

But already you have to give tons of love to 'Canes HC Randy Shannon, not just for turning the program around, but for these words of wisdom about how he wants his team to approach the rest of the season. Love Miami or hate Miami, there's just no question that by any rational standard, this is A-1, First-Class, Hi-Octane Sports Metaphor Gibberish:

These days, the Hurricanes seem to have as much buzz as any team in the country. The intrigue will follow them to Blacksburg, Va. on Saturday, when No. 9 Miami (2-0, 2-0 Atlantic Coast Conference) visits No. 11 Virginia Tech (2-1, 0-0) — the biggest game for the Hurricanes in years.

Coach Randy Shannon's message: Don't let the cookie crumble.

"It's like an Oreo, with the two black things on the outside. They're dark holes," Shannon said. "Don't venture into those areas. Stand in the middle where you can see the light."

Outstanding. Absolutely outstanding.

Texas Death Panels

You want your Death Panels? Well, Texas has some of the best Death Panels going. They sure do kill innocent people with some mighty effective Death Paneling down there in the Lone Star State! And elsewhere too, of course, though the Texas Death Panels sure are something special.

Funny, ain't it, how people screeching about completely imaginary, hypothetical abuses of government power in regards to healthcare won't be troubled even a little bit by this extremely clear instance of state officials essentially conspiring to murder an innocent man.

Via Scott.

Stalin Lives... IN SWITZERLAND!

Joe Stalin is coming to AN AMERICA NEAR YOU!

If nothing else, the Obama eruption in American politics is steadily revealing the stark reality behind the progressive movement - the totalitarian temptation is always there and, for more than a few, possessing the official power to compel sooner or later becomes irresistible.

Not everybody on the left, of course. Some of the folks I most admire in this town are liberals whose work on behalf of values like transparency in government and protecting civil liberties is remarkable and essential.

Still, that this danger is real and growing becomes more obvious as public opposition grows to the president's across-the-board campaign to turn Washington into the all-powerful, centralized behemoth that Woodrow Wilson and FDR could only dream about.

Consider: Nowhere does the Constitution grant Congress authority to require every American to buy a particular private service or product on pain of forfeiture of a significant portion of their wealth. Yet, every version of Obamacare currently being discussed in Congress requires just that.

So, huzzah for the public option, I guess?

Forcing all of us to buy officially approved health insurance is essential to a functioning government-run system. As Obama told Congress, "many of insurance reforms we seek - especially requiring insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions - cannot be achieved" without the individual mandate.

Why? Because the politicians and bureaucrats who will manage the government-run health care program know that, without the force of government behind them, they won't be able to make the rest of us do what they tell us to do.

Once the power is granted, the question becomes how severe will the enforcement be. Fines will suffice, for Obamacare, for now. For Stalin, the first choice was usually the Gulag, or a bullet. It's just a matter of degree.

To accept this hypothesis one would need to accept that every other developed Western nation, which either provides healthcare directly through the government or mandates that citizens purchase health insurance through private companies who are forbidden to turn a profit on it, are essentially Siberian death camps.

This is of course accurate. Why, for instance, in Switzerland, they force you to either (1) obtain really excellent cheap health insurance, or (2) get shot dead in the street like a dog. The diabolical fiendish genius of this wicked plan is revealed in the fact that the Swiss, in overwhelming numbers, seem to prefer excellent, cheap healthcare to assassination. Thus is the final triumph of the Soviet Union assured.

In related news, "cake" is more popular than "death" throughout Western Europe as a whole. It really is a complete fucking shame the US lost the Cold War so decisively. WOLVERINES! Or, perhaps, HUMANA!