I hate mowing my fucking lawn. We have about an acre of land, and a lot of it has grass on it, and needs to be mowed. Mowing it is a pain in the ass: it consumes a lot of time, and also, lawnmowers are fucking annoying. They break down constantly, they require as much time to maintain as does mowing the fucking lawn they're allegedly maintaining, they guzzle gas, and I hate them. To be fair, I think they also hate me.
I think I am going to go all primitive and savage on my lawn this summer. I have a push-reel mower, and a variety of hacking and whacking tools. I am going barbarian against grass this summer.
This strikes me as a Good Idea for several reasons:
1. It will annoy my neighbors.
2. It will get me in shape.
3. It will be good for the environment.
4. What the hell else do I have to do this summer, besides work and family shit?
5. I totally hate gas-powered lawnmowers, and they hate me.
6. I HATE MOWING MY FUCKING LAWN.