Refuse Endlessly

Apparently Mr. Limbaugh has Mr. Goldberg's balls in his possession. Shit happens. Wolcott has some fun with the situation, but I am going to have to disagree with him for reasons that are very good.

(Note: post written in Earnest Sophomore Antiqua. Had it set there.)

(Ahem)

Gerry Wolcott seems to be of the opinion and to think that Jonah Goldberg should take the bold route and bravely take on Rush Limbaugh full-speed-ahead.  However, In this essay I will show that Wolcott is wrong when he says that Jonah Goldberg should act bravely. I express that Jonah Goldberg should Elect the Way of the Coward.

The first reason James Wolcott is wrong to say Jonah Goldberg should be acting brave is in this sentence that I quote:

Don't be go hiding behind your workload just because you're reluctant to risk direct confrontation with Rush, whose grotesque ego has become a major artery-clog that threatens to destroy post-Buckley conservatism unless you, Jonah, unleash the Fletcher Christian within and lead a mutiny against this dogmatic despot, chucking him overboard and letting him bob to shore until he is but a round dot in a distant hue.

This makes it seem like, you know, doing things, and that would be a lot of work. I agree that doing things is a lot of work. If I am Jonah Goldberg, I fell asleep before the first comma. Therefore James Wolcott is wrong and Jonah wins because how can Jonah even be expected to read that entire sentence? Jonah should act like a coward because paying attention is hard work and nobody likes hard work I don't.

The second reason James Wolcott is wrong to say Jonah Goldberg should be acting brave is in this sentence that I quote:

By reprimanding you on the air he's reminding you and everybody that he's top dog, number one, Frank Sinatra and Tony Soprano rolled into one big boss-man ball of pizza dough.

Again, the cowardice path is the best one for Jonah Goldberg. If Rush brings pizza, where is the debate? I like pizza! Frankly I do not think John Wolcott has thought this one through. He should not get any pizza.

The third reason James Wolcott is wrong to say Jonah Goldberg should be brave is in this sentence that I quote:

Rise from your swivel chair, brush the bread crumbs off your lap, and warrior up.

This is so stupid and an insult to Jonah as it implies he does not have a Wii. Jonah Goldberg can "warrior up" without even brushing off breadcrumbs! Get with the times old man.

So, in conclusion, David Wolcott is wrong when he says that Jonah Goldberg should act bravely. I believe that Jonah Goldberg should Elect the Way of the Coward. It's like that old saying from the TV show Lawrence, why go out for hotdogs when you have Steak-Umms at home? Or maybe that was Heyek.

I do hope that they rouse Jonah sufficiently to let him know how all this turns out.