by Ripley (with apologies by typepad)
It's the most wonderful time of the night
When Ripley is drinking
And everyone's thinking
Just turn out the lights....
It's the most wonderful time
Of the night!
It's Festivus time, kids! And if there's anything that can bring us all together - gay, black, white & uptight, gangstas, supermodels, preachers and shiksas - it's Festivus. Huzzah! (I said 'Huzzah', damn it! Get with the program!)
You there - you're pissed off about the mimmbleflazzit... Festivus!
And you - yes, you, with the glasses and the attitude... Festivus!
And you, Johnny Bug Up Yer Ass... Festivus, motherfucker!
One day. That's all I'm asking of you. One day to step back and let your love flow. It doesn't take any effort, it doesn't take any special diet or Chuck Norris exercise equipment... just enjoy Festivus.
We have this one day, kids. One day to air our grievances... Ooh, goody!
First - Obama hasn't done quite exactly what I'd like him to do. Festivus!
Next - PUMA. Festivus, you fucking low-rent Republican dipfucks! (Hi, Darragh!)
Then - American Big Banks and Wall Street Whores. Someone will find you and make your life very uncomfortable. (We'll be rubbing our hands together, gleefully, over our barrels of burning whatever the hell you burn in barrels, when you live on the streets.) Festivus, you twathounds from Hell !
Then - Limbaugh, Hannity, neocon bloggers and slurp monkeys like Bob (I practically know something!) Owens, Megan (I earned my own money! hee hee!) McCardle, Ed (I'm not Michelle's bitch!) Morrisey, Glenn (I'm a lawyer and... oh, who am I kidding?) Reynolds, that other dipshit's name I can't think of right now, Michelle (I'm fucking relevant, dammit!) Malkin, and whoever the fuck else dips their slippery lips into the wingnut gravy train and expects America to pay them a salary. Festivus, you pieces of zero charisma, God-fucked-up-won't-happen-again flotsam and... oh, go fuck yourselves! I mean.. really!
Finally - the Bush administration. Fuck. You. to Peru and back. Sweet, mythical baby Jesus in a manger, I hope Hell comes to find you before you die.
And now, we raise the aluminum pole...
I love you all. (With the exception of those noted above and some spineless Democratic elected officials of great renown)
Times are tough - we all know it and many of us are living through it. There is hope. I've been fortunate enough to be involved in the KINship Project, where I could try to bring a little bit of joy to some folks who need joy. This is what we do - because we care aout people, not party or ideology or voting record.
I'm so grateful to Thers for giving me a wider platform for my odd and occasional ramblings. I'm grateful for all of you who take the time to read my sometimes profane blitherings and make the odd comment. They can mock me, but they'll never mock me like we mock them.
You truly are the reason for the season.
(What, like you didn't think I'd end with that bit? C'mon, I love you all, but... it's Xmas, G!)
[Update] - Typepad is on my Naughty list. So, here's the damned video:
Rip -