by flory
More fun in Bailout Nation! This time from your friendly insurance salesemen at AIG.
We'll start with the good news:
The company announced on Tuesday that Mr Liddy would be paid a salary of $1 for 2008 and 2009, and that Paula Rosput Reynolds, who joined AIG as chief restructuring officer in October, would receive no salary or bonus for 2008.
The company said the other five members of AIG’s seven-member leadership group would not receive annual bonuses for 2008 or salary increases through 2009.
So this sounds completely reasonable - in return for our mutlibillion dollar bailout, we're gonna promise teh gubmint that we won't spend all the money on compensation for our already multimillionaire senior executives. Your basic minimum trade-off, don't you think?
Hold on....not so fast.....
One day after announcing strict limits on salaries and bonuses for its top tier of executives, AIG revealed that some of those executives will receive millions in “retention bonuses” next year
So in that alternate universe, Bailout Nation, 'retention bonuses' are magic money and don't actually count as 'bonuses'.
An AIG spokesman said on Wednesday that retention bonuses were different from the annual bonuses included in Tuesday’s statement
Well sure.
I'm gonna try that on the IRS. No sir, Mr. Taxman, that was a 'retention bonus', it's not really money at all.
Here's the part that confuses my liberal mind:
The retention bonuses for 130 key executives were disclosed by AIG in September, after the US government rescued the firm from bankruptcy by purchasing 79.9 per cent of the company for $85bn.
79.9% is more than 50%, isn't it? I'm pretty sure I learned that in 6th grade.
So don't we, The Taxpayers, own this fucking company? Isn't making sure this kind of shit stops what we elected the Democratic congressional majority for? And if it isn't, why are they collecting a paycheck?
Or does it not work that way in Bailout Nation?
Also -- what exactly have these people done that we actually want to pay to "retain" them? Is a mindless rampage, destroying everything in its path, now worth millions? Because if it is, I know a few three year olds who should be worth billions....