Celebrate the holiday with Red State.
Well, that's a relief. It's not quite accurate, but a relief nonetheless, to know that the disease and slaughter came later. Whew! The Red State writer-person goes on to explain, via Rush Limbaugh, how the story of the Pilgrims proves that socialism is bad. This is an interesting theory but perhaps slightly confused from a historical point of view. In reality, as all students of the period know, the truly lasting lessons of the Plymouth colony are to do with turkey-fucking, something we ought to all keep firmly in mind this Thanksgiving.
And after the time of the writing of these things befell a very sad accident of the like foul nature in this government, this very year, which I shall now relate. There was a youth whose name was Thomas Granger. He was servant to an honest man of Duxbury being about 16 or 17 years of age. (His father and mother lived at the same time at Scituate.) He was this year detected of buggery, and indicted for the same, with a mare, a cow, two goats, five sheep, two calves and a turkey. Horrible it is to mention, but the truth of the history requires it. He was first discovered by one that accidentally saw his lewd practice towards the mare. (I forbear particulars.) Being upon it examined and committed, in the end he not only confessed the fact with that beast at that time, but sundry times before and at several times with all the rest of the forenamed in his indictment. And this his free confession was not only in private to the magistrates (though at first he strived to deny it) but to sundry, both ministers and others; and afterwards, upon his indictment, to the whole Court and jury; and confirmed it at his execution.
And whereas some of the sheep could not so well be known by his description of them, others with them were brought before him and he declared which were they and which were not. And accordingly he was cast by the jury and condemned, and after executed about the 8th of September, 1642. A very sad spectacle it was. For first the mare and then the cow and the rest of the lesser cattle were killed before his face, according to the law, Leviticus xx.15; and then he himself was executed. The cattle were all cast into a great and large pit that was digged of purpose for them, and no use made of any part of them.
Upon the examination of this person and also of a former that had made some sodomitical attempts upon another, it being demanded of them how they came first to the knowledge and practice of such wickedness, the one confessed he had long used it in old England; and this youth last spoken of said he was taught it by another that had heard of such things from some in England when he was there, and they kept cattle together. By which it appears how one wicked person may infect many, and what care all ought to have what servants they bring into their families.
Some may think it's hard luck about the livestock getting executed too, but I say they were asking for it and had probably led him on with provocative behavior. Anyhow, Happy Thanksgiving, and if you want my special gravy recipe, my email address is in the sidebar.