I'm glad a deal on the financial crisis has been reached and that now the economy is saved and there will be no more problems with the economy.
I'm really very relieved.
FAIRY TALE UPDATE: "THE ASSHOLE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF WOLF WOLFITTY WOLF WOLF"
Once upon a time there was a village. In this village there lived a lot of well meaning idiots, and a few unscrupulous assholes.
The well meaning idiots had some neat shit that the unscrupulous assholes really wanted, stuff like gourmet salt grinders, DVD players, clean socks, delicious muffins, and the well meaning idiots' genitalia. So the unscrupulous assholes came up with a plan to get all this neat shit away from the well meaning idiots.
What they did was, they went out and dredged up a barely literate shepherd boy who would spout any sort of absurd garbage as long as he thought he was In Charge. They told this horrible prick of a pig-ignorant dickhead to go out to the edge of town and start screeching some sort of ludicrous shit about wolves coming to kill everyone. And he did. He went out to the edge of town and screaming "Here Come Teh Wolves and They Have Discovered Nucular Weaponz Holy Shit."
All of the well meaning idiots, being idiots, and well meaning, ran out to the edge of town, where, on their own initiative, they promptly shot themselves in the foot. As they were writhing on the ground in agony the unscrupulous assholes broke into their houses and stole their delicious muffins and clean socks.
A few years went by, and the unscrupulous assholes started to think, "damn, this salt is ground in a vulgar fashion, and I also want to watch some DVDs." So they told the punk shepherd boy to prance out to the edge of town and prattle on about wolves. And he did. And once more the well meaning idiots ran out after him, and promptly shot themselves in the other foot. And thus they lost their gourmet salt shakers and DVD players.
A few more years went by, and the unscrupulous assholes began to wonder if the well meaning idiots were so functionally moronic that if they sent out the dickhead shepherd boy to yell "IS WOLVES!" again, they could persuade the well meaning morons to let them install web cameras inside the idiots' homes to tape them fucking and then sell the footage to Internet pornographers.
While some of them doubted that even these idiots would fall for it, the more cynical prevailed. In the end what happened was that some of the well meaning idiots were so stupid that they ended up signing away their mortgages as well as the rights to not have their asses scoped out by the government and the images resold to private firms. They ended up losing their genitalia too!
As for the wolves, well, who the hell knows. Presumably they were waiting for the villagers to just kill themselves already, contemplating that all they needed to do was just hang out.
Or whatever.