by Ripley
I know Thers usually doesn't venture into Limbaugh territory (I generally don't, either) but this was just too good(?) to pass up, and it just got better, the more I looked at it. I know, as well, that there are some fairly intense emotional reactions and opinions on the recent news about John Edwards' infidelity, but this bit from Limbaugh is just.... damned flabbergasting, at the very least. And, hey - any chance to mock that overpaid, underinformed, sad sack of... well, I'll leave you to your own descriptions.
Media Matters via Commie pinko America-hating Blue Boy
Ergo, if Elizabeth Edwards is smarter than John Edwards, is it likely that she thinks she knows better than he does what his speeches ought to contain and what kind of things he ought to be doing strategy-wise in the campaign? If she is smarter than he is, could it have been her decision to keep going with the campaign? In other words, could it be that she doesn't shut up? Now, that's as far as I'm going to go." Limbaugh later added, "It just seems to me that Edwards might be attracted to a woman whose mouth did something other than talk." Limbaugh went on to say in a subsequent segment: "my theory that I just explained to you about why -- you know, what could have John Edwards' motivations been to have the affair with Rielle Hunter, given his wife is smarter than he is and probably nagging him a lot about doing this, and he found somebody that did something with her mouth other than talk.
Oh, that's brilliant, classhole! (I just invented that word!)
I know, I know - some people are pissed at Edwards and that's understandable. But, seriously - this is where Limbaugh takes this? On the national airwaves? Fuck me runnin'... what a piece of fuck! He's not content to revel in some across-the-aisle schadenfreude, he has to drag Mrs. Edwards into it and make, frankly, some pretty damned piggish remarks about the other woman. Way to stay classy, asshole! (see newly minted word, above) Then again, I'd forgotten about Limbaugh's nearly Puritanical sense of morality. Thankfully, his transcripts set me straight:
LIMBAUGH: Well, it's - I mean, at some point, at some point, you gotta exhibit maturity and restraint. You know, and I do that constantly.
Really, Rush... Maturity and restraint? Constantly? Cuz I remember things a little differently (doodle oodle doodley oodley doodle oodle doodley oodley):
JULY 6 [2006] - Rush Limbaugh was traveling with four other men - including the producers of the hit show "24" - when he was detained over a mislabeled bottle of Viagra found in his luggage during a Customs search. A Department of Homeland security passenger manifest shows that Limbaugh and his four buddies flew from the Dominican Republic on a Gulfstream IV jet owned by Premiere Radio Networks, which syndicates his radio program. Limbaugh returned to Palm Beach, Florida on June 26 with Joel Surnow, "24"'s co-creator and executive producer and Howard Gordon, another of the Fox hit's executive producers (Hollywood agent Jeffrey Benson was also part of the Limbaugh quintet). With all those guys in tow, it is unclear what Limbaugh needed with those 29 100mg Viagra pills.
Yes - it is unclear. Some people say that the Dominican Republic is the perfect place for fat, lazy American men to visit when they're looking for sex with underaged boys. Hey, I'm not a travel agent, so what the hell do I know? Hell's bells, I don't think Elvis could have competed with this pharmaceutical garbage disposal, head on - then again, Rush probably has a couple pounds on the King, so it's not really a fair contest. But anyway...
As I was looking around America's Greatest Impotent Drug Addict's website, I came across yet another example of Limbaugh's seemingly bottomless well of omnitience. Did you ladies know that you're dumb? You are! You're very, very dumb! (It's ok to giggle a little bit, if you feel like it, ladies.) Y'see, NBC is dumbing down their Olympic coverage for you dumb ladies because you're so dumb. You didn't even know that, did you? See? He's so smart! Actually, he's so smart he called it "chickified", not "dumbed down". PotatoE, potahtoE, eh? But you can trust him, what with his vast experience in nationally broadcast television athletics. Go ahead, ask him - he'll tell ya!
But then I found this tidbit, in the midst of the "Girls are dumb and the dirty fucking commies are using the Olympics to practice their war marches and they're ugly but they made a girl lip-synch and they faked the fireworks with computer graphics on live television!" trip he was on:
I'll betcha when Obama was watching he did put his hand over his heart then when the ChiCom little girl sang hymn to the motherland.
Yeah... You know what I'd bet? I'll tell ya! I'll bet that Rush Limbaugh visits prostitutes (or vice versa) and pays for sex. I'll bet that Rush Limbaugh cheats on his taxes and uses offshore banking accounts and invests in companies that drag America down. I'll bet that Rush Limbaugh buys Viagra by the case because he can't pop a chubby without it. I'll bet that Rush Limbaugh has child pornography on his home computer. See, I'm not saying it's true or anything. I'm just expressing an opinion that if someone were to ask me to wager on these unknown and hypothetical scenarios, I'd bet American money that an investigation would find results favorable to my particular side of the wager. That's the American way, after all.
Last time I went off on a Limbaugh rant, I said this:
Hey, kids, guess what!You can call The Rush Limbaugh Show program line
between 12 Noon and 3PM Eastern Time at: 1-800-282-2882You can e-mail Rush at: [email protected]
You can fax Rush at: 212-445-3963
I suppose Sen. Edwards deserves some scorn from the folks who placed their trust in him, and some expected, albeit hypocritical, finger-pointing from the jokers who still have the nerve to put an (R) after their names (and their media fluffers). Frankly, some of you might think that Mrs. Edwards shares a degree of complicity in the situation and feel that she also let us down. I can dig that. But I'm more than a little put off when the only member of the Flatulence in Broadcasting Network starts waxing misogynistic (again); painting good American women (and women from other countries, as well) as dumb people who are only worthy of gauzy feel-good biographies, or nothing more than star struck bimbos with no gag reflex.
But let's end this piece on a lighter note. I almost spewed a beer across the room when I scrolled to the bottom of Limbaugh's site and saw some of his advertising:
Google Ad10 Rules of Flat Stomach
Cut Down 9 lbs of Stomach Fat every 11 Days By Keeping These 10 Rules.
FatLoss4Idiots.com
Oh, it gets even better. The big ass banner (pun intended) at the bottom of most of his pages?
FTW!
[Update] - And, now, back to Rush in the News Room, with really, super important breaking news!
The second and third most important people in John McCain's life
Ohhhh... well, this is kind of awkward, isn't it?
Rip -