LA Conf. Ptld. directs our attention to Red State, where Paul J. Cella, the worst writer on this or any other Internet, ponders the question of patriotism. M. Cella, you will be amazed to learn, is in favor of patriotism, and believes that Barack Obama does not display patriotism in a satisfactory fashion. Or so I surmise; it is no easy task to discern what M. Cella actually thinks about anything, because the motherfucker just can't write worth for shit.
He at least has the sense to begin by apologizing for his abject incompetence:
Unfortunately, I don’t have time enough right now to give these thoughts the treatment I think they deserve. The importunate urgency in our age is very strong: it militates against my inclination to let them marinate for awhile, in the hopes that a structured essay may issue from the marinade.
In short, I’m going to just throw these two thoughts out there, and affix a French word to the title to make them look grand and important.
Right. A good marinade can save many an inferior cut, sure, but there are limits. A turd well soaked in sauces and spices is still excrement, and someone capable of the phrase "importunate urgency" is never, ever going to say anything that isn't retarded. So it's good luck for him that I have the time to give his thoughts "the treatment they deserve." I am very good at clearing accumulated blockage from my nasal passages for the duration of red lights, for instance, so I'm in practice. (Do metaphors hate Paul J. Cella as much as Paul J. Cella hates metaphors? Discuss.)
Also, he always says "in short" before saying something that is not short at all. Why this is not a capital offense entirely escapes me. Kill... kill... I teach English... kill... die... die... you fucker... (I lose it a bit here. But then, you know, if I were the young Chosen One Jedi, like Anakin Skywalker, you know how I would have Fallen to the Dark Side? If the motherfucking Sith promised me I could jam a sideways slithery lightsaber up the freakin' furry Muppet butthole of any motherfucker who put "in short" before a fucking big ass big long multiclause motherfucking sentence. FUCK! KILLLLL!)