Michael Bloomberg has taken to the editorial pages of the New York Times, where, reckless of consequences, he boldly challenges the fearsome forces that are arrayed against the brave, lonely champions of bipartisanship. Hark to his proud defiance.
More of the same won’t do, on the economy or any other issue. We need innovative ideas, bold action and courageous leadership. That’s not just empty rhetoric, and the idea that we have the ability to solve our toughest problems isn’t some pie-in-the-sky dream.
Childe Mayor to the Dork Tower Came. Anyway you know it's not empty rhetoric and that he's proposing controversial specific policies because he doesn't actually mention any, which is in and of itself sort of a brave move, in that he's not afraid to be praised to High Heaven for spouting obvious mindless bullshit that will get him soundly fellated by nitwit fossils with opinion-page sinecures. Talk about your desperate last stands.
He also issues an ultimatum, or diktat, or commandment, or some similar class of Haughty Pronouncement:
I believe that an independent approach to these issues is essential to governing our nation — and that an independent can win the presidency. I listened carefully to those who encouraged me to run, but I am not — and will not be — a candidate for president. I have watched this campaign unfold, and I am hopeful that the current campaigns can rise to the challenge by offering truly independent leadership. The most productive role that I can serve is to push them forward, by using the means at my disposal to promote a real and honest debate.
In the weeks and months ahead, I will continue to work to steer the national conversation away from partisanship and toward unity; away from ideology and toward common sense; away from sound bites and toward substance. And while I have always said I am not running for president, the race is too important to sit on the sidelines, and so I have changed my mind in one area. If a candidate takes an independent, nonpartisan approach — and embraces practical solutions that challenge party orthodoxy — I’ll join others in helping that candidate win the White House.
Right. Because Michael Fucking Bloomberg commands Armies of Voters and thus needs to be courted, and if you defy him, FEAR THE WRATH OF HIS HORDES OF THREE DOZEN MEALYMOUTHED CRETINOUS ASTHMATIC FLYING BRODERITE MONKEYS!
The prospect of which, I'm sure, intimidates somebody.
(Below: Michael Bloomberg, Mighty Nonpartisan Sorceror.)
