by Molly Ivors
Oh. My. Gawd. Did you see? Did you see? Cold diss! Stone cold!
I knew, with the sort of inner assurance that accompanies screeching brakes, that Ariel the Idiot Princess would mobilize all her Heathery skills to to take on The Snub. And I cringed. Our punditocracy, in this, the Stupid Season, chases the MoDo Mode, focusing more and more on the imaginary psychoanalysis and petty issues that separate the candidates, pushing for "money quotes" and rewarding viciousness, turning all this into a savage soap opera as though there were nothing more at stake than who gets to sit on the prom float. Poor MoDo, who only gets to talk twice a week (but who made the morning shows last weekend), is actually bringing up the rear on the whole bitchy adolescent analysis of the moment. So of course, her analysis had to be especially nasty.
The only union that fascinated was Obama and Hillary, once more creeping around each other.
It would have been the natural thing for the Illinois senator, only hours after his emotional embrace by the Kennedys and an arena full of deliriously shrieking students, to follow the lead of Uncle Teddy and greet the rebuffed Hillary.
She was impossible to miss in the sea of dark suits and Supreme Court dark robes. Like Scarlett O’Hara after a public humiliation, Hillary showed up at the gathering wearing a defiant shade of red.
Uh, "public humiliation"? WTF? MoDo dismisses Obama's explanation that he had been hailed by someone else and says that his awkward turning away was instead an example of his immaturity and hurt feelings, that he is still "taking the race personally." I have no idea if that's true--neither does Maureen Dowd, I hasten to add--but he is clearly a little blown away by the obsessive focus on this moment. That nutty nut nut--I'll bet he wanted to discuss policy!
Even if the turn were intentional, if he may not have been anxious to speak with her, and mobilized discretion as the better part of valor, that does not imply that he's pouting, as MoDo suggests. In focusing on his feelings, Dowd seems to be trying to make this into his "not ready for prime time" moment, rather as an accident or an attempt to preserve some semblance of unity in an increasingly brutal primary season.
But, as this is Dowd we're talking about here, there's no political moment that she can't psychoanalyze and work into her preexisting narrative of the Debate Dominatrix cracking the whip over the simpering Prince Barack. And so she hastens to apply her shaky but prolific interpretive skills on that bitch Hillary, who once wept on cue.
Knowing that it helped her when Obama seemed to be surly with her during the New Hampshire debate, telling her without looking up from his notes that she was “likable enough” — another instance of Obama not being able to hide his bruised feelings — Hillary went on ABC News last night to insinuate that he was rude Monday.
“Well, I reached my hand out in friendship and unity and my hand is still reaching out,” she said, lapsing back into the dissed-woman mode. “And I look forward to shaking his hand sometime soon.”
Something’s being stretched here, but it’s not her hand. She wasn’t reaching out to him at all.
No, she wasn't. She was reaching out to Ted Kennedy, a longtime Clinton supporter. Maybe she would have asked him about his endorsement, maybe not.
Dowd's new narrative seems to feature a bitchy ice queen--"Alpha Hillary" (I am not making this up)--against the feminized and emotionally fragile candidate who had No Idea there would be fisticuffs involved. She calls Obama "jejune" (a word I bet most of you haven't seen since you set down Ulysses after the first few pages), "emotionally delicate," "bruised" and "feminine," and a "prince" again--as opposed to "Queen Hillary." In other words, doing everything possible to belittle him, to belittle both of them, and rob them of any substantive differences in policy. If only he wore his hair long enough for an expensive cut, it would be perfect!
It's Election time again. (And if you think I'm exaggerating, watch this.)
(Meanwhile, Obama supporters are reading this as his Big Balls moment. Huh. Strikes me as just as much of a stretch.)