or... With Great Cleavage Comes Great Responsibility
by Molly Ivors
I know I'm not the one in the relationship charged with picking on Ann Althouse, so this is something like mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage for me, but she's really gone around the bend this time.
Our favorite poster child for adult-onset ADD (Breasts! Terrorists! Sanjaya! Flower pretty!--and that's just the front page) tells all us girls who haven't yet noticed that we have breasts. And that men might look at them, so for god's sake, keep them put away when men might have to think or something.
What looks sexy for a night out on the town may not be appropriate in the workplace. In fact, [Elisabeth] Squires said cleavage should never make an appearance in the office.
Even in the summer at the law school when there's almost no one around?
"It's way too big of a distraction for men and women," she said. "If cleavage isn't in your job description, don't put it in."...
Squires suggested that women also keep things respectable at family events, like a kids' soccer game....
Night is prime time to bring out breasts, but Squires suggested women treat their cleavage as part of their outfit -- not a focal point.
"You can certainly be a bit more daring," she said. "This presumably is adult time, and cleavage is powerful. This is the time to use it. But they should be part of your whole look."
Okay, so night time is the "prime time." Clearly, there are other times. What are they? Hanging about cafés in the summertime? Catching a light lunch with a former President? We need to know.
Well, I dunno, Ann. You could ask your fellow wingnut namesake about flashing her tits in a little black dress at 7am, for starters. But no, it's much more rewarding to go back to the one most interesting (and by interesting I mean psychotic) thing she's ever done and reattack Jessica Valenti for wearing a demure, high-necked sweater. I mean, this is the same woman who went postal on Garance Franke-Ruta for even mentioning it. Always worth rewatching, since she's obviously insane. But I guess it's okay if it's her own little joke.
In the early days of our relationship, when I would instigate romance at an inconvenient time, Thers would tease me by quoting St. Paul and St. Jerome, and tell me that I was interfering with his contemplation of the Holy Spirit through my actions. That's what this is, medieval crap which belittles women. Fuck 'em.