--Molly Ivors
I don't think I mentioned the fact that a student told me I was going to hell this week. Not news to me, really, although since it was paired with a rant about homosexuals being possessed by Satan, I admit I did take it with a grain of salt.
I was dwelling on this encounter when I heard that Jerry Falwell had died. Far be it from me to delight in the death of any human being, but since I'm not completely convinced Falwell falls in that category, I shall feel free to do my Snoopy dance in the backyard.
Among his other Crimes against Humanity, Falwell founded the Moral "Majority" and Liberty "University." He also, much more importantly, once called rock and roll "the new pornography," unintentionally naming one of the greatest bands on the current scene.
I'm bracing myself for days of unquestioning tongue-bathing of the corpse from the mainstream press, so let me just say this before it gets started: Jerry Falwell may have single-handedly brought down the American experiment in his desire to allow religion to control the government and to make personal moral decisions the province of the law. We would not be where we are right now--mired in war and debt, with a deeply divided population and a functionally retarded president--without Falwell and his minions. There, I said it and I'm not sorry.
Some more great moments in Falwell history:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Go be with your God, Falwell. Not the loving one who says be kind to each other and feed the poor--you never had any time for Him. No, go be with the hateful, violent, racist, homophobic, greedy son-of-a-bitch you actually worshiped. Assuming He'll have you. Buh-bye.
