David Broder pens another moving column on the subject of the Unity Party. The Unity Party is a project put together by Wise Men who are fed up with Partisan Bickering. The trouble with politics, they argue, is that people disagree. Their brilliant solution to this problem is to agree on everything, thus ending all disagreement. Shazam! It is truly a wonder that nobody has ever thought of this before.
Astoundingly, the oppressed masses, cowering as they are under the cruel lash of partisanship, are not exactly flocking to the Unity Party banner. The column is actually pretty funny on this point:
I contacted Bailey recently to ask what had happened to this bold gamble, and he was the source of that 35,000 figure for the number of people who have lent support to the scheme. They obviously have a long way to go before they can claim to be a viable political force, but they are making slow, steady progress.
When I called Bailey, it had been just a week since the group announced that anyone who was interested could sign up at http:/
/ www.unity08.com as a voting delegate to a national convention planned for June 2008. Most of the sign-ups came before that formal start, Bailey said, in response to last year's publicity about the formation of Unity08.
So they're not making "slow, steady progress." They got an initial rush and now nobody cares. Jeez, I bet a smart young advertising professional could get more than 35,000 people to sign an online petition for "Federline '08." Or "Aphids '08." Or the "Dysentery Ticket." Or the "Nigerian Inheritance Party."
But there is still a Hunger for Nonpartisanship: the veteran political insider Broder smells it, like a Lab puppy scents a dropped breaded porkchop.
"The need [for a third party] is as great as it's ever been," Bailey said. "The partisan bickering in Washington continues nonstop, and the contest for the nominations in both parties is likely to make it worse."
Egads. Yes, elections do have a disturbing tendency to make people not agree on certain key issues, like who exactly to vote for. But Broder offers a Helpful Suggestion (and this is where we really see Teh Comedy, kids):
I suggested to Bailey that the underlying premise of this campaign -- the need to cure the partisanship of Washington -- might be undercut if the Republicans and Democrats nominated people who are not closely associated with those partisan battles -- mentioning Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee on the GOP side and Barack Obama and Bill Richardson among the Democrats.
No, he really wrote that, and I didn't make it up. Rudy Giuliani, Compromiser. Right.
It just annoys Broder no end that people actually have principles, doesn't it? And that they think these principles are worth fighting for?
Broder is like the Edith Bunker of politics: everybody get along and be happy! Or I'll get crazy! Eeeeek! Ignore the yelling! Except Edith was smarter, and nicer.
Anyway: Stifle, Broder.
