Here is a great sentence.
It all started in September, when Houston Mayor Annise Parker and City Attorney David Feldman issued an "overly broad" subpoena for the sermons of select ministers who opposed the city's equal rights ordinance. Because of intense national opposition from even Texas' attorney general, this past Wednesday, Parker and Feldman appeared to recant or at least reduce their flagrant overreach and disregard of the ministers' legal protections under the First Amendment.
Here's what happened in actuality, as opposed to what happened in Norrisworld, the land ruled by Facepunch Jesus. Heck, even this weaselly apparatchik is honest enough to grasp the basic legal principles involved, and she's cashing checks from Ben Domenech!
So back to Chuck:
By the weekend, however, the truth came out that they were only using political smoke and mirrors to try to simmer the patriotic fury; they were not changing course to constitutional compliance.
This is a great sentence.
It is very difficult to apply mirrors or smoke to the simmering process, in practice, I should imagine. Smoke may of course be employed in regards to barbecue, but I don't quite grasp how it might simmer anything, absent a Rube-Goldbergian apparatus. Likewise with mirrors. This is not even to broach the question of why the presumed malefactors in this scenario would even want to maintain furiously patriotic simmering. Maybe this is all to do with arcane Texas cuisine lingo to which I am not privy. Or else perhaps Chuck Norris is dumb. Who knows.
I'm a Texan, and it chaps my hide when some kibosh of the U.S. Constitution originates in the Lone Star State.
You're a Texan, and your mangled understanding of "kibosh" makes me extremely reluctant to inquire as to what you might mean by "chaps my hide."
What this all actually means is that authoritarian religious assholes want to (1) directly engage in electoral politics, and (2) not pay taxes.
It's not a mystery why your more savvy right-wing operatives would want to fling this bullshit. It's also obvious why Chuck Norris would also gleefully wallow in these poop-pools:
Chick Norris is stupid, and kind of a dick.