Oh, hello there. More deep thoughts to share with us, then?
I cannot wait.
Teach gun safety in classrooms and leave sex education to parents. Plan B won’t save young people from incurable STDs, but guns will protect women and children from being raped or murdered. The more young people know about guns, the safer our society will be.
So, uh, what?
If every child in America carried a gun to school every day, America would be safer? Because their gym teacher would teach them about gun safety? So they can, I don't know, shoot chlamydia in its stupid face with a gun?
What?
Is THAT your thesis...?
Well, OK then --
Rush Limbaugh said on his talk radio show on May 1: “We know kids are gonna get guns anyway, why not teach them how to use them?” The king of talk was right. Instead of pushing morning-after pills on 15-year-old girls, we should be showing young people how to responsibly use the preeminent tool they have to defend themselves in the event of a violent attack—a gun.
All 15 year old girls should carry guns with them at all times? Because then they won't get pregnant? In what world does this make sense?
Beg pardon. Carry on.
Americans use guns to hold off assault far more than they use guns to commit murder or violent crime. Indeed, Florida State University criminologist Gary Kleck has shown that Americans use guns to defensively prevent crime about 2 million times a year—often by merely brandishing a weapon in front of a would-be-assailant.
Hold on -- do you mean that 1992 study that "included gun uses against animals and did not distinguish civilian uses from military or police uses"? Because surely you realize as a thoughtful observer that you have to carefully analyze statistical research and account for bias, and that actually even this highly dubious study said "2.5 million" and not "2 million," so you've even botched your own point? Surely, you care about your facts -- excuse me?
What's that?
Right.
Well-rebutted.
Yes, I know I said "butt"...
Sure, point to you.
But how do we end gun violence, then?
More and more, psychiatric drugs are being miss-prescribed or abused and President Obama’s FDA is contributing to this mess. Medications are increasingly being prescribed to young people that could be setting them up for violent behavior. Instead of prescribing talk therapy, we are loading young people up on meds that are known to cause suicidal thoughts and/or incite aggression.
"Miss-prescribed"...?
Nevermind.
But... What medications are these? And... "talk therapy"? We need more Freud? What?
And if as you said before, violent crime is down overall, which you said is due to concealed carry laws, how could that be true when you then say that the youngsters, they're ever-more increasingly hepped up on goofballs?
Why, it's almost like you're totally whiffing on some obvious contradictions in what you're saying, or else you don't care, or else, perhaps, when the wind blows hard enough from the East your Western ear emits a mournful B-flat, reminiscent of what happens when a toddler learns how to make sounds breathing over an empty Coke bottle --
Gotcha.
Oh you're not done.
It’s time for young people to go through gun education before their teachers brainwash them about gun control.
Wait, weren't you going to tell us how if 15 year old girls had firearms training, they wouldn't need the morning after pill? Because that was kind of strange and I thought you'd maybe explain that --
OK.
Well congratulations, I guess, on finding the precise part of the world where you'll manage to keep yourself fed and employed. Since in the real world, you couldn't get a gig hiring yourself out as mulch...


