Whiskey Fire

Whoa, Nially: Or, Some of My Best Friends Are Also Pompous Idiots

Over There, I think I pretty much said all there is to say about Niall of the Nine Wankages, but since the only purpose of this blog is malice aforethought* there is no reason not to chew through the whole godawful slice of fried dung with a view towards pointing out that Ferguson is an absolute tit.

Last week I said something stupid about John Maynard Keynes.  Asked to comment on Keynes’ famous observation “In the long run we are all dead,” I suggested that Keynes was perhaps indifferent to the long run because he had no children, and that he had no children because he was gay. This was doubly stupid. First, it is obvious that people who do not have children also care about future generations. Second, I had forgotten that Keynes’ wife Lydia miscarried.

What an asshole.

Ferguson didn't slur "people who do not have children," he slurred homosexuals, because he does that shit.

Because this is trebly stupid. Gay people as it happens can raise children! No kidding!

As for the rest, "I am only hatefully glib in my public appearances, here are the books where I am thoughtful, and by the way Sullivan" is a load of crap. 

--

*If I were a Drag Queen or Roller Derby Bruiser Chick my name would be "Alice Aforethought."**

**Actual Drag Queens or Roller Derby Bruiser Chicks are welcome to steal this, though a Whiskey Fire plug would be welcome, as well as amusingly baffling to your immediate audience.

"But then God, of course, is not cool, and never has been"

Noted hateful twerp Alan Sears has collected words and sentences and has presented these items to the internet.

For those who don't know, Sears is one of those people who realized decades ago that yelling shit about "the homosexual agenda" beat getting a real job all to hell, and who now smells the end of the end of the long con like a dachshund senses the final splat of a long-produced footlong turd.

But never forget that Sears is Cuturally Important -- after all, he has a Wikipedia entry, wherein it is duly noted with all appropriate fanfare that he is a Townhall Columnist. And as such, he says some gloriously weird shit.

A friend of mine, a teacher, has been telling me about her efforts to ready her third, fourth, and fifth grade students for a pint-size production of The Music Man. Things aren’t going well.

As enthusiastic as the children were to put on the musical—as excited as they were about trying out for featured parts, putting on costumes, and practicing the dances—the bloom is off the rose, now that it all comes down to actually memorizing lines, hitting marks, and, especially, emoting. Several of the parts call for outsized performances, and some players are feeling self-conscious.

Nothing so darkly portends the collapse of Traditional Heterosexual America as the unwillingness of Our Youth to fully commit to Musical Theater.

You remember.

I remember? I remember what?

What if I go big – step out – say the line – and: nothing? What if I’m standing there, flushing scarlet, as people look at each other and whisper, “Did he really say that? What a fool! Wayyy over the top.” Better to just say the line as quietly, non-commitally as possible, and let the show roll on. Being “okay,” even being “bad,” is better than being embarrassed.

So yes, American schoolchildren must be taught to give big, brassy performances whenever they are cast in musical theater productions. They must learn to be fabulous!

I am on board!

Excellent dramatic advice!

Wait, what?

That’s what my teacher friend’s plight makes me think of, as I watch the manufactured groundswell of public support for redefining marriage...

What?

But one thing everybody knows, whatever their political or religious persuasion: they want to blend in. They don’t want the “audience” – their family, their friends, their co-workers, even strangers – to look at each other and whisper, “Did he really say that? What a fool! Wayyy over the top.” No matter how old we get, no matter how secure or successful we become, for many of us, nothing ever takes the place of being “cool.”

Is same-sex marriage “cool?” That’s what the “cool kids” tell us.

So... if you don't like gays having equal rights, you should be Very Brave -- exactly like those bold 6th graders willing to Give Their All in an amateur musical?

The entire column is strewn with Wonderful Jewels; "But then God, of course, is not cool, and never has been."

But the joke is that the only people who sincerely confuse melodrama with real-world morality are people like Sears. Christ, never put him in charge of Hats Off to Hanukkah, he'd reduce more than one cast member to tears.

I'm Going to Disneyland

You know, ha ha, Jim Hoft is just so stupid.

And yes, he is, and who after all am I to fault anyone for snark?

But in this particular instance, we ought not forget that the central point about Jim Hoft -- the crucial fact about Jim Hoft -- is not that he is stupid.

It's that he's an asshole.

Mr. J. M. God:

Multiple right wing sites such as Free Republic, Townhall, and Gateway Pundit are today posting information from the Facebook page of a 20 year-old Saudi national whom they claim is being "guarded by federal agents" in a Boston hospital as a "person of interest" in the Boston bombings.  The FBI and other law enforcement agencies continue to say that they have no one in custody and no suspects.

Commenters on Free Republic and elsewhere are declaring that this "person of interest" is a gay or bisexual man, citing his posted interested in "men and women" and noting that he vacationed in Key West three months ago and has "liked" the Ellen Degeneres Show.  Many of the photos at the Facebook page feature flowers and shots of an amusement park.

See, what happened when the New York Post (!) decided they wanted a Journalistic Scoop is that they found this kid, saw the word "Saudi," and ran with it...

... and this gave licence to every wingnut Creeper to mastubate themselves into the belief that it was their Sworn Duty as Patriots to find out everything they possibly could about the kid (he's 20!) and puke it onto the Internet.

That Free Republic thread is a perfect specimen of its kind. Scientists collect intestinal worms and fouler things.

The bigotry is obvious, but this is the bit I want to isolate:

So everything about this kid that can possibly be discovered online has been discovered online, a lot of stuff that isn't true about this kid has now become Immutable Wingnut Folklore, and anyone he ever friended on Facebook is getting the same business, as likely are lots of people he never knew but who are now Prime Suspects to Wingnuts because they're crazy.

And then Jim Hoft, with his Update.

UPDATE: FOX News reported that the Saudi man is not a suspect in the blast.

This, hours after his Facebook pictures have been spread far and wide.

I know nothing about this kid, except his name, and age, and a lot of shit I shouldn't. Like the records of the people in his apartment building.

He is apparently a witness. And a victim. He's in the hospital.

So...

Hey, GOOD ONE PATRIOTS, for widely and dickishly going after him because he may be gay or bisexual based on his Facebook page --

because that is exactly what a young Saudi needs to learn about American Freedom --

walk down the wrong street in America, you might get randomly blown up, perhaps by the same assholes you thought you'd at least temporarily escaped--

and then have thousands of smug Patriotic Shits comb through whatever you ever did online in order to make everyone both here and at home utterly despise you and want you dead--

based on glib assessments of who you really are.

Oh what a shining Beacon of Freedom you have lit, Patriots!

Fucking. Assholes.

"Could a Father Not Marry His Son?"

Let's hear it for Hollyweird.

Academy Award winning actor Jeremy Irons said Wednesday that while he doesn't have much of a strong opinion either way on same-sex marriage, he believes it poses interesting questions, including whether allowing same-sex marriage would open the door for interfamilial relationships.

"Could a father not marry his son?" Irons asked HuffPost Live host Josh Zepps. Irons argued that "it's not incest between men" because "incest is there to protect us from inbreeding, but men don't breed," and wondered whether same-sex marriage might allow fathers to pass on their estates to their sons without being taxed.

Yeah, that's a good point. Rich people really are that Poe-Faulkner gothic-gross about taxes.

MAS. Oh yes the idiots.

 

Phenomenal Stunt-Kids

Did you know who are the most racist racists in the racist history of racist racism? That would be you, redsnouts.

Dr. Ben Carson on Tuesday blasted his critics for heat he’s taken recently over controversial remarks on gay marriage, calling his white liberal detractors “the most racist out there.”

“They want to shut us up completely, and that’s why the attacks against me have been so vicious,” Carson said on the Mark Levin radio show. “I represent an existential threat to them. They need to shut me up, they need to get rid of me, they can’t find anything else to delegitimize me, so they take my words, misinterpret them, and try to make it seem that I’m a bigot.”

Because when you say something bigoted, it's dirty pool to quote it?

Levin said Carson was being targeted for his race.

“You’re attacked also in many respects because of your race,” Levin said. “You’re not supposed to talk like this, and a lot of white liberals just don’t like it, do they?”

“They’re the most racist people there are because they put you in a little category, a box,” Carson responded. “How could you dare come off the plantation?”

The manner in which Dr. Carson is an "existential threat" to anyone is Shrouded in Mystery. In politics, to be effective you need a constituency. Carson's constituency is people like Mark Levin who are angry that people of Carson's skin pigmentation don't want to get rid of Medicare.

We here on the Left realize that Alan West, that pizza guy who was in the primaries, Keyes, and the other total non-tokens squawking in the Townhall Columnist Rubble, have totally been swaying elections for you forever, world without end, amen.

Indeed, I quite respect Dr. Carson for what he has done in his field, and I rather hope for his sake someone close to him can intervene and make him stop talking to people like Mark Levin, because he's making an ass of himself.

Because if the Civil Rights struggle winds down to "yelling about gay marriage and NAMBLA," really? Really?

I don't think so.

MAS. Gah, others disagree. Dr. Carson will continue to shout in public about NAMBLA, and if History is kind, it will note that after he retired, "he said things that were beneath him."

I, of course, will call him a "fuckface," but in certain regards, I am not History.

 

"Consent"? Whatever Could That Be? What a Puzzle!

Proving yet again that (1) nobody can whine at quite the earsplitting volume as our friends on the Right, and that (2) nothing foxes them quite so profoundly as the concept of "consent," comes this remarkable, pig-snivelling, resentful oink from John Nolte over at Big Dead Bloatbart:

No Media Outrage After Sotomayor 'Compares' Homosexuality to Incest

If you want proof of how vicious the mainstream media is when it comes to punishing black conservatives for daring to be black and conservative, look no further than the media's coordinated attack against the openly conservative Dr. Ben Carson for making the exact same kind of argument about same-sex marriage as Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor did on the exact same day.

You see, Doctor Carson said this:

Marriage is between a man and a woman. It is a well-established fundamental pillar of society, and no group -- be they gays, be they NAMBLA [North American Man/Boy Love Association], be they people who believe in bestiality -- no matter what they are, they don't get to change the definition. So it's not something that's against gays; it's against anybody who wants to come along and change the fundamental definition of pillars of society.  It has significant ramifications.

And then noted Plantation Overseers Wolf Blitzer and Andrea Mitchell asked him about it on the teevee --  which was exactly as bad Jim Crow-level discrimination all over again. Though Nolte, bless his charred little heart, invokes a Key Knucklehead Kodicil:

Mitchell and Blitzer are not racists, but they do need to take a step back and realize that, in their zeal to aid and abet the left, they are wielding the same kind of double standards and show-trials of humiliation we saw in the segregated South.

The "not racist" exemption is there because, as is known, the cruelest form or racism that has ever existed occurs when a white person is called a racist. And a civil-rights expert of Nolte's class would never stoop so low, as he is a Gentleman of Honor, suh, and thus precisely as sensitive to such insults as, I don't know, Preston S. Brooks.

But anyhow Nolte says he has PROOF! that the Liberal Mainstream Media are the Real Racists, even if none of the whilte people in it are racists themselves, and Nolte jim-crows this PROOF! to the mountaintops! PREACH IT!

If you want proof that what NBC News and CNN engaged in yesterday was nothing more than an ideological witch hunt against a racial apostate, where was the outrage from this very same media on Tuesday after Justice Sotomayor raised the exact same kind of slippery-slope argument Carson did, herself citing illegal and immoral examples?

Because Sotomayor said:

Mr. Olson, the bottom line that you're being asked -- and -- and it is one that I'm interested in the answer: If you say that marriage is a fundamental right, what State restrictions could ever exist? Meaning, what State restrictions with respect to the number of people, with respect to -- that could get married -- the incest laws, the mother and the child, assuming they are of age -- I can -- I can accept that the State has probably an overbearing interest on -- on protecting the a child until they're of age to marry, but what's left?

According to Nolte,

I do not believe Sotomayor compared homosexuality to anything. What she did is what Dr. Carson did: she played devil's advocate about the slippery-slope of what might come next if we open the Pandora's box of changing the definition of marriage. And to make that argument, like Dr. Carson, she used illegal and immoral relationships (not homosexuality) as slippery slope concerns should the definition of marriage be held to include gay marriage.

... which is stupid.

Whether or not Nolte is being wilfully stupid or just plain stupid is immaterial.

Because, you know, consent is a thing, as Sotomayor stresses, with the "assuming they are of age" phrase. Children, as in NAMBLA, are not of age, and beasts, as in beastiality, cannot agree to sex with a person.

This is not a difficult distinction, and so no, Carson and Sotomayor were not saying the same thing. Even "the horror of incest" (Nolte's phrase) between, as specified, among consenting adults does not compare to child rape or squirrel molesting.

Further "proof" that Nolte's post is dog-whistling to rabid curs may be found in his comments section, as well as the approving links from the usual snotnoses he has received.

Also, too, if you have no moral problem with a particular group of people, you are unlikely to suggest that granting them equal legal rights will lead to unrestricted sex with children. No, really.

Meet the New Boss, Gay as the Gay Boss

So apparently the Evil Gay Jihad as predicted by Erick Erick Prophetson has come to pass.

Because this.

Ben Carson, the noted pediatric neurosurgeon, has become the target of a petition by Johns Hopkins students who want him removed as the medical school’s commencement speaker this spring.

Dr. Carson became a media sensation in January when he questioned Obamacare and progressive taxation in a speech to the National Prayer Breakfast as President Obama sat just a few feet away from him.

With his new prominence, Carson has apparently also riled some liberals, including these Johns Hopkins students. Last Tuesday, he told Sean Hannity of Fox News that “marriage is between a man and a woman. No group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality, it doesn’t matter what they are, they don’t get to change the definition.”

So he's very good at surgery, but otherwise he's a hateful, pig-ignorant nitwit.

Clean Out the Hive

So what's killing all the bees to death?

GAY MARRIAGE.

Soon there will be no more honey, and then what happens? Bears will be starving and will start eating babies. And KITTENS.

Thanks a bunch, gays.

The Most Cretinous Commenters Ever...

... belong to Ann Althouse!

So, here is a thing that Time did.

Someone at Buzzfeed is very certain that there is herein a Double Standard:

One of Time's two new cover photos declaring “gay marriage already won” looks like a wedding kiss. The other looks more like a makeout session.?

And here are the clever responses of Althouse's commenters:

Serious question. Why does MSM and gay rights advocates always show lesbians as hotties? While in real life they tend to look more like....something. Why not show two short older heavyset women tonguing each other?

Remember the Navy ship last year. Someone invented something called a "first kiss". A sailor picked to be first off the ship and to kiss his or hers "partner". They wanted a homosexual for this. Kind of to give a big FU to those who oppose the agenda.

Did they pick two guys to makeout in front of the ship and cameras? God no. That would be gross and not advance the agenda.

Did they pick a traditional lesbian? An overweight masculine mechinical type? Naw. Cute but that doesn't advance the agenda either.

They found two hot gals to go at. The gay rights folks are marketing geniouses.

Bored now. Cesspit is shitty and boring. But repetitive! And representative!

 

And That's a Hit!

I have not much to say about the marriage equality stuff that Supreme Court Justice Anthony gets to decide for everyone in the entire nation because he is Ever So Wise on Issues of State-Sanctioned Legitimate Fucking.

I will, however, state forthrightly, that I quite sincerely hope Chief Justice Roberts' lesbian cousin beat him up a lot when they were kids.