A lot of people are skeptical about reports from otherwise journalistically unimpeachable organizations that ISIS is crossing our southern border in droves, a "drove" in this case defined as a minimum of four and a ceiling of ten. And "journalistically unimpeachable" being defined as unidentified "sources."
I myself, however, believe we ought to take with the utmost seriousness these reports of sinister southern inflitration.
I mean, can you even begin to grasp the horrors that would befall our homeland should the great state of Texas ever fall into the hands of violent, well-armed religious extremists obsessed with a bizarre ideology that rejects science, democracy, and rationalism?
That is mindlessly opposed to the rights of women, gays, and religious and ethnic minorities?
That wantonly murders those it wishes to kill in furtherance of its own twisted corrupt bigot morality, making a mockery of established, western norms of due process and equality under the law?
Indeed, I greatly fear that should Texas fall to such... such... loonies, we may even see the rise of a well-organized movement to separate that state from Our Union!
It could happen here.
Shit's for real.