Whiskey Fire

Michelle Malkin's Fashion Report

Well-dressed & entirely rational, not in the least bit absurdly paranoid conservative cheerleader Michelle Malkin has the scoop: It's a fashionista conspiracy!

Talk about wearing your politics on your sleeve. An elitist clique of fashion designers has banded together to raise money for celebrity-in-chief Barack Obama and browbeat their customers into supporting him. Even worse, the Beautiful People who dress the Powerful People are putting increased pressure on conservatives to stay out of the business altogether. Out: Haute couture. In: Hate couture.

Much too lazy to do a 180° treatment of that paragraph (Substituting "armament industry" for fashion designers, Romney for Obama, lib for con, yada.) but certainly you can imagine. You can also imagine the incredible "pressure" being applied:

Diane von Furstenberg pitched in two $85 tote bags and has grown more strident about her partisan agenda as Election Day nears. At a fashion event in her New York Meatpacking District store last month, she yelled at clients: "Everyone here better be a Democrat; no Republicans!"

Wow. Not sure pressure is a strong enough word. Fortunately Malkin found someone (Pro-Romney because he doesn't like to pay taxes or a living wage to women indentured in his sweatshops? Who knows?) to reveal that it's not mere pressure but a threat! And to do a 180 that reveals where the true attacks on women come from.

Young New York City designer Bradley Scott also spoke up against ideological "persecution" in his industry. "It's really offensive for me, as a designer, to be issued an unveiled threat by someone who could exert an enormous amount of influence over my customers, store buyers and magazine editors," he told me on Tuesday. "I for one want absolutely nothing to do with this attack on women. This pressure upon designers should offend every woman in this country, not just the conservatives."

As far as I can determine the real conspiracy here was making Ann Romney appear as if she's a blind woman who lets a six-yr. old Disney Princess fan choose her clothes.

Richard Perry/The New York Times Mitt Romney and his wife, Ann, left, made cherry pies with Linda Hundt, the owner of Sweetie-licious Bakery Cafe in DeWitt, Mich., during a campaign stop in June.

See how far up Mitt Romney's ass the stick goes at the photo source.

— M. "Types In His Underwear" Bouffant

An Impeccable Arrangement

Golly. The Democrats are sure in trouble at their convention. Insiders tell us the Inside Insiderism.

The Clinton-Obama feud is the worst-kept secret in the Democratic Party. It traces back to the bruising 2008 primary campaign, when Obama’s surrogates lambasted Bill and Hillary for being “racists” and a Clinton aide said of Obama that he “embraces the politics of trash.” The animosity still stirs such deep emotions that a year ago Clinton held a secret meeting of friends and political advisers at his home in Chappaqua and urged his wife to challenge Obama for the party’s presidential nomination in 2012.

According to two people who attended the meeting, Hillary rejected her husband’s advice that she run against a sitting president of her own party. But that didn’t stop Bill Clinton from going on a rant about Obama.

“I’ve heard more from Bush, asking for my advice, than I’ve heard from Obama,” my sources quoted Clinton as saying. “I have no relationship with the president — none whatsoever. Obama doesn’t know how to be president. He doesn’t know how the world works. He’s incompetent. He’s an amateur!”

This is Definitive Proof that there's a nice fat living in shoveling warmed-over bullshit into the insatiable Wingnut Maw.

Like Maw-Boy over here.

And then there is that brainless Politico piece -- you know, that one brainless Politico piece? You know, this one? This one Politico piece that said that brainless thing that one time, making it different from everything else ever at Politico?

Clinton’s got a prime-time speaking slot on Wednesday night, but Charlotte will be full of chances for him to freelance on camera or speak just a bit too candidly about Obama. Republicans will be ready to pounce on Clinton if he credits himself instead of Obama for positives, or expresses doubts about an Obama proposal. And then there’s the possibility Clinton could suggest support for a Republican plan, like he seemed to in June regarding the competing proposals over extending the Bush tax cuts.

Maybe he'll yell at a chair!

Politico then goes on to warn us that the Democratic Convention will be Shockingly Underattended and yet Far Too Crowded.... Yogi Berra could hit baseballs. Do Politico writers have another skillset? Can they be mulched in an environmentally responsible fashion? These are Hard Questions What Demand Answers.

Other Leading American Intellectual Lights have mainlined sufficient Franzia Zinfandel to Probe Further.

I'd say Obama should not trust Bill Clinton. Hillary has too much to gain from an Obama loss.

That's a good point. Obama should send his Trained Ninja Assassins to eliminate Bill Clinton before he gives his speech!

As the Wily Arkansas Warrior approaches the podium, the stealthy night-robed Oriental night-murderers grasp their fearsome katanas, throwing-stars, nun-chucks, sickles, staffs and canes, polearms, grapnels, maces, fistloads, spikes, swords, weighted chains, cudgels, sharpened iambs, pointed trochees, clotted cheese, potted meats, lumbar supports, aggravated fistulae, cleated weaponry -- terrifying classes of gore-spattering destruction separatable and divisible into the invisible, clawed, air-propelled, and pyrotechnic classifications!

Through the night they creep! Night-unseen killers cloaked in the cause of Implacable Pitch-Midnight Kenyan Vengeance!

The Plain People of Ireland. O Jay! Turn about, Billy! Turn about, begob! Turn about!

And then... a bugle! A thunder of hooves! From around the lone desolate butte, it is the Federal Cavalry! And... my stars... it is... it is... GANDALF! MITHRANDIR! HUZZAH! HELM'S DEEP IS SAVED!

The Plain People of Ireland. Hurray! Hurray hurray and a gra-macree for the White Wiz and the bold strapping F-Troops! Take that, me fine ninja boyos! They're saved! They're saved!

....

So, see, it all makes sense. Also somewhere there are probably pirates. What I'm saying is, I don't think Obama and either Clinton will exchange gunfire next week. But then I didn't expect the GOP convention to feature an extended Beckettian experimental vignette wherein an old fella berates furniture, either.

P(r)ick Of The Wk.

Who else?

Mr. Ryan

Politico has an interesting background piece on Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) which includes an anecdote showing his "keen sense of how his status had changed once he won his first election to the House in 1998."

A reporter he knew from his days as a congressional aide approached him to wish him well.

"Congratulations, Paul," said the reporter, who was several years older than Ryan.

"It's Mr. Ryan, now," he replied.

No surprise. Is there anything else any one needs to know about this colossal jerk?

— M. Bouffant (Also.)

The Newest Civility: "Fuck You. War."

It's Must See Tee Vee, but you can't see it here. (Spent several mins. trying to embed the teaser for "Leaders w/ a Still of Ginni Thomas's Head & Shoulders" here earlier this a.m., but between TypePad & TheDC ...)

Not to pimp, but Blogger did embed it chez moi, & the good parts (0:34 & 2:40, if TheDC earns your click) are cued. The best part: Supreme Spouse Ginni Thomas has presented, under her name, techno thriller (guessing) author Brad Thor reciting Breitbart's anti-"hard institutional left" mantra, "Fuck you. War," in unison w/ the Ghost/a recording of/Zombie Andrew Breitbart. Un-bleeped, no NSFW. Free speech, moonbats!

(Of actual interest beyond the schadenfreude is the question of what we'll call the living digital dead who already walk among us, & can only increase. Bets on a Tupac-style Breitbart hologram screaming "Behave yourself! Stop raping people!" making an appearance at next yr.'s CPAC?)

Back to the absurd, where TheDC disclaims:

Mrs. Thomas does not necessarily support or endorse the products, services or positions promoted in any advertisement contained herein, and does not have control over or receive compensation from any advertiser.

Just giving it away, then?

— M. Bouffant

here's the vid -- Thers

Rmoney Leads In Florida

Here is a video of Rmoney singing at a campaign stop in The Villages, Florida on Monday.

 

 

♪♫ I'd like to teach the world to sing In perfect R-money.

I'd like to hire the world to work then fire it immediately. ♪♫

(h/t to stoat and R. McGeddon at Eschaton.)

Meanwhile, Pig Newton wants to go back to the moon, and Mooselini Moonselini wants to help.

(H/t Substance McGravitas, IF that is his real name, for the pic.)

"If for no other reason, rage against the machine, vote for Newt; annoy a liberal, vote Newt. Keep this vetting process going, keep the debate going," said Sharia Plan.

Keep on rootin' for Pig Newton, says I.

(H/t GottaLaff. I have to go with two words, though.)

(Posted by ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© and cross-posted at my place. Mouse over pics for captions, and click them for larger versions.)

~

Annals Of Projection

Almost decided to let this pass (I was trying to eat, watch the World Series, & so on.) but it's such a classic yet sad example of projection & the truly astounding shallowness of reactionaries that it's passing like a kidney stone. No surprise that one of Tucker Carlson's legacy hires (Tucker's kind of a legacy himself, isn't he?) at The Daily Caller (Someone w/ a "II" after their name, if there's any question about a legacy accusation.) is the typist. Not only is Nicholas Thimmesch II a mind-reader, he can read the minds of the demented & not-so-recently-deceased. Watch:

Anybody who refers to the President of the United States as “dude” to his face is a nutcase, but no more than any POTUS who allows such a slight to go unanswered. I’m certain the late, great Ronald Reagan, a man who would not take off his suit jacket in the Oval Office, is rolling over in his grave.

Considering that the final fashion notes that the "late, great" (Wow, it rhymes! That's extra-clever, original, & as dignified as "Winston tastes good, like a cigarette should.") Ronald Reagan offered the nation was sporting oven mitts so he wouldn't scratch at the help, we can see how his worm-riddled corpse would be spinning at this affront to the kingly, if not imperial dignity of the office. Other dignified Reagan moments include Iran-Contra, & going to Bitburg, Germany to honor the noble SS troops who fought the Red Menace in WWII (w/ just a little collateral damage to a few selected ethnic groups). Dignity personified. As was "We begin bombing Russia in five minutes." Late & great!

Nicky Two-Time also has insight into the minds of those hate-filled ralliers last Saturday, who ran amok all over Washington after the rally, knocking over anyone smaller & stepping on their heads if they felt threatened, or heard an opinion w/ which they disagreed. It was all over the papers.

Glenn Beck’s rally tried to be serious to the point of being funny, while Stewart’s, Colbert’s and Shultz’s rallies tried to be funny but were seriously mean if not sick. The best way to describe the theme of the “Rally for Sanity and/or Fear” is, well, The Daily Caller is a family-friendly website, so it won’t allow me to fully express myself, but suffice it to say, it was all about “F-you.”

“F-You,” you crazed Tea Party people, you mean-spirited, corporate-loving Republicans, you Obama-hating weirdos, you birthers, you, well, regular fly-over-country Americans. “F-You”: we’re just as much Americans as you are!

No, they aren’t: the people attending the Stewart/Colbert rally frigging hate the aforementioned Americans, if not America itself. They think they should all be banished, like Helen Thomas said of “the Jews,” back to Germany and Poland, where they all came from after all.

Absolutely. Projection & eliminationist rhetoric has long been the exclusive province of the left, as typist Thimmesch II clearly demonstrated w/ hundreds of photographs of the hateful, "Get Out, Whitey!" (And much worse, but this is a family-friendly website, so we don't type out FUCK, but euphemise it w/ "F-" & "frigging.") signs that polluted the moral atmosphere of Washington. Also, they rode the Metro, & buses!!

No, the rally that clogged the Metro, had WTOP as well C-SPAN radio swooning (WTOP beckoned listeners, “Are you going to the rally?” while C-SPAN’s voice-over commentator could barely contain herself from giggling at Stewart’s jokes), kept bus drivers busy shuttling liberals back and forth from New York City on Arianna Huffington’s dime, and hopefully did not leave the same amount of trash that Obama’s inauguration and Shultz’s brown shirts did.

Lose your train of thought there, genius? What did the rally do again? Or what is it that the rally was? Or what? Is there a verb in there that has any connection w/ the subject?

Onward & downward, he really gets rolling here: Note the sheer, hateful spite & evil he detected.

One sign shown at the beginning of the rally by C-SPAN (since liberals are so hung-up on signs at Tea Party rallies) said: “I’m Pretty Much Cool With The Reasonable Amount Of Taxes I Currently Pay, I’d Probably Be Okay With Paying More Too If That Might Help The Economy With The Deficit.” “Help the economy with the deficit”: oh my, how Keynesian. That sign is as frigging outrageous as any Tea Party sign, except most Tea Partiers actually pay federal income taxes whereas I would imagine that the person holding this sign is among the 45% of Americans who pay no federal income taxes.

(Yes, do imagine. Imagine in one hand, & crap in the other. Either way, your hands will be filled w/ crap.)

Out-friggin'-rageous!! Those parasites must have some good accountants, & all their money is in the Caymans, right? A cursory search would reveal just a bit about income disparity in these United Snakes, & why people who don't have wealth aren't asked to pay taxes on it (Yet.) but then he'd lose his point about how outrageous & w/o a plan these people are.

Like Jon Stewart, these people were all about themselves and their hatred for America. Me, my, I: that’s what we’re interested in, nothing serious, nothing substantial, nothing positive. No solutions for any of America’s serious problems were put forth by anyone, just “We are Americans, too.” It was really the Rally to Mock America.

Nothing demonstrates liberal "hate of country" more than offering to pay taxes. After all, real Americans hate paying taxes because of their vast, all-encompassing "love-of-country." And few signs are more substantial & serious about policy than "We Need a Christian President," "Thank You, FOX News" or "Obama = Hitler." "Taking our country back!" (From the majority of voters?) will be the complete & only possible solution to any & all problems. Certainly extending tax cuts w/o any serious plans to reduce spending will lower the deficit.

We've read some crap in our time (typed some too) but this Nicholas the Second offering has guaranteed him entry to the Jonah Goldberg Wing of The Transparent Buffoonery & Pathetic Projection Hall of Fame. So let's learn a bit more about the latest inductee.

Nicholas Thimmesch II, son of the late Los Angeles Times columnist Nick Thimmesch, is a longtime media and communications consultant to numerous campaigns, government representatives and public policy organizations, serving in the Reagan White House as a staff writer.

As demented as Reagan. Serving in the Reagan White House? It hasn't existed since 1989, but he's still serving there. Maybe N² was one of the guys who had to serve Ron meals, & was clawed for his efforts. Between the grammatically challenged English & the psychological problems, we can only say, "Dude! Get some help."

— M. Bouffant (Read it in the first person plural here.)

For the Record

I also think HillBuzz is run by a bunch of crazy shyster assholes. 

Besides everything else, egging on your blog's readers to unearth personal information about your Online Foes is a sure sign you're (a) swine and (b) completely fucking nuts.

And no, George Soros didn't pay me to say this. Shit, I pay him.

Sweet Flesh Prize

My attitude towards the stupid Weblog Awards is that they're stupid and I hate them. Also, the stupid logo, which I hate, looks like a penis. A stupid penis.

(Not a knock on anyone who likes the awards; feel free. I just do not give a shit about them, personally. And, no, this is not because I was not nominated, smartass; you can ask Actor 212 about last year's epic, if you like, in this regard. Incidentally, I see now A212 was nominated again; you can vote for him here -- click Simply Left Behind.)

But far more ridiculous even than the Weblog Awards do I find anyone calling themselves a "PUMA." And nobody annoys the PUMAs more than Kevin & the rest of our pals at Rumproast. So go vote for Rumproast here and get your spite on, which is after all what WF is all about.

Wonders

As it turns out all along Barack Obama was Ronald Reagan. Intriguing. I had no idea "The Gipper" was a socialist.