Not much from our new favorite TownHaller this week, though this is piquant:
The only reason Obama is strolling through the Rose Garden, golfing with Tiger Woods and cracking jokes about Jay-Z is because the media is not holding him accountable.
If only the gosh-darned Em-ess-Em would do its job, Obama would be out there putting with Rory McIlroy* and name-dropping Madison Rising.
Hehdizzle indeed. Or hehdizzle. Or "shoot me."
When Veruca Salt's dad needs to hire a ghostwriter for his kid's private diary, here's his gal.
Let us instead cast asparagus upon Chuck Norris's most recent emanation, wherein he gives up trying to hawk the ghastly books he pretended to write, and instead attempts to persuade his demented, mush-gummed fanbase to waste their government checks on an anti-government book he forced his mother to pretend to write.
So, hello, Chuck Norris, pictured below.
You're looking fine!
What now with the your mother having Advice for America now?
"Back in the 1930s, any work was good work. We picked cotton, picked up cans, scrap metal, whatever it took to get by. The message from yesteryear is: Don't be too proud to do whatever it takes to meet the financial needs of your family.
"There's no shame in a hard day's work, whatever it may be. It seems today that people would go on unemployment before they would work in a field picking anything. That would not have been the case when I was growing up."
Clearly, your boy is following your Noble Example. In the 2000s, any work was good work. He picked up sentences, paragraphs, sometimes whole columns, whatever it took to make like he was "writing original material". The message from thisteryear is: don't be too proud to cash any damn check you can as long as it's scribbled by suckers.
Also too, clearly, our current Role Models are undocumented Mexican immigrants, who will work any damn job for any money, and who rarely apply for unemployment. Just like George Washington!
"We didn't have much. In fact, we had nothing at all, compared with people today, but we had one another. We were poor, but rich in love. We've lost the value of family and friends today, and we've got to gain it back if we're ever to get back on track. If we lose all our stuff and still have one another and our health, what have we lost? We don't really own anything anyway. Everything is ultimately on loan to us. The Bible says, 'The earth is the Lord and all it contains.'
Damn straight. Poor people nowadays are too materialistic.
Also dig the bit about how maybe, just maybe, Roosevelt had a better record than did Jesus in helping folks out during the Great Depression. And that communal action along the principles of An Injury to One Is an Injury to All ("We thought and worked in community. The way we saw it was: If one of us was chained, none of us was free") is All-American and Godly.
But this is the Fun Part:
"There was nothing easy during the Great Depression, but we endured and made it through, and we learned even more how to simplify, help one another and depend upon God. Children took on chores at an early age and by early teens were assisting in some ways with the provisions of the home. Yesteryears' kids often bore today's adult responsibilities. Back then, we grew up fast and often married young. In fact, by the time I was sixteen years old, five of the seven Scarberry children in our family were married, including me."
Child labor, child marriage, don't ever imagine a democratically elected government could ever represent your immediate interests or redress your material grievances...?
What a glorious time in American history! Everyone was poor and desperate and we had Jim Crow!
I'm sure in person Chuck Norris's mom is quite lovely, but this is the public arena, and hence, one must ask, is anyone actually paying for this horseshit?
Forget it, NewsMax and TownHall exist, so yeah, obviously.
MAS. Whoops, forgot to follow up on the asterisk (*) up there next to the name "Rory McIlroy."
Just meant to point out that the douchiest web-site ever is the Official Rory McIlroy Homepage.
It's douchetastic. Did you know... he's an athlete?