A recent column by Fr. Thomas Berg, Is Flirting a Sin?, caught my attention.
I appreciate Fr. Berg’s distinctions and precautions. As a married mom myself, I am deeply sympathetic to a woman who finds herself aging and is tempted to boost her ego by turning a few heads. I am very concerned, however, about the fact that so few of us take the steps we need to protect our marriages. In a sex-saturated culture, marriages need vigilant protection. Even the very best of marriages can fall prey to temptations brought on by innocent (enough) flirtations....
NO FLIRTING, sugartits.
Every woman’s desire to be attractive is natural and good. Feminine beauty is meant to be a gift to the world, and in special way to our husbands.
NO FLIRTING. Dress hot, but also, like a nun.
The problem arises when a woman seeks not just to be beautiful, but to be sexually attractive to a man who is not her husband. It’s hard sometimes for women to recognize the difference, and for men it can be an easy line to cross.
NO FLIRTING. Gotta re-tune that slut vibe there, Mrs. O'Malley, we can see your ankles through the wool socks and glaoshes.
Flirting among singles can be a fun and healthy way to explore the possibility of a relationship, but when flirtation turns “sexy” outside of marriage, we use our sexuality as a means to an end—to garner ego-feeding attention in a way that can inspire the sins of lust and covetousness in others.
NO FLIRTING. It's your fault Mr. Gallagher got arrested jerking into your begonias. He saw your ankles.
Human sexuality is meant to be a gift between spouses alone.
I would encourage any woman tempted to look outside her marriage for sexual attention to think carefully about why she is seeking this attention. Chances are, her marriage needs some work.
Even if her husband is a lazy clod who never looks up from the video game he’s playing to notice her stylish new hair color, her vocation is to that man in that marriage, and her job is to make a full gift of herself to that man, in that marriage.
NO FLIRTING. You may think it's all fun and games, missy, but remember the sheer joy of official Catholic boinking: he gets to play video games all he likes no matter how many tassels you strap to your tatas.
In conclusion, NO FLIRTING.