There exists an online publication called The Federalist. Why there exists an online publication called The Federalist is rather obscure. It appears to serve as a make-work scheme for otherwise unemployable far-right noodlebunnies who can't hack the intellectual rigor demanded by Townhall editors.
I mean, here is a thing.
I am an over-sharer, especially when it comes to the good news of pregnancy and new babies. I’m not one to wait the socially acceptable 12 weeks before announcing, and with each of our three pregnancies we have notified friends and family early, making phone calls on the same day we saw that positive. Yet while I love celebrating this new life, I have been shocked — and a bit appalled — at how I’ve had to defend this third baby to not only family, but complete strangers as well.
And most of this article is obvious lies or else frightening horseshit. Sigh. Let's slog through.
WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE, for the benefit of NEW READERS.
Longtime fans of Whiskey Fire will know that I, Thers, am married in a heterosexual fashion to MollyI, and that in conjunction with her Invaluable Biological Contributions, I, Thers, have issued forth three children. An older stepchild also makes regular sitcom appearances.
So I'm actually kind of qualified to point out that this Federalist person is a weirdo.
ONE. Some repetition, but ye gods...
"I am an over-sharer, especially when it comes to the good news of pregnancy and new babies. I’m not one to wait the socially acceptable 12 weeks before announcing, and with each of our three pregnancies we have notified friends and family early, making phone calls on the same day we saw that positive."
PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS. MollyI&I are absurdly Irish fertile, but of the (2) times when we were consciously trying to conceive, we only at best hit .500.
"Seeing the positive" is in no way a guarantee that the fetus is viable. The reason sane people wait a while to tell people is that miscarraige is common. This idiot's "over-sharing" is surely making someone miserable.
TWO. Dear Lord...
Whether at church, military functions, or even in office staff meetings, the announcement of our third pregnancy has received some ridiculous responses.
These are three places where pregnancies are not often formally announced.
THREE. “Was it an accident?”
The average household no longer has the 2.3 kids of the 1960s, though this remains the oft-cited statistic. Now down to 1.9 per household, according to the 2010 Census, having a third child must be a mistake, an oops that slipped past us, because who in this day and age actually wants more than the average?
Nobody has ever asked me or MollyI this question, and I'm totally skeptical that this Federalist person ever got asked it either.
Our third kid was a total accident, as it happens, but whatever, more the merrier.
FOUR. You shit me... “So how many children are you going to have?”
There seems to be some notion that once we’ve opened the “large family” floodgates, we won’t be able to close them. Our usual response to this question is a simple, “We will see.”
Nobody ever asked us this. Who are these idiots hanging out with...?
“You’re not Mormon, are you?”
Nobody has ever in history looked at me for more than three seconds and wondered, "Mormon?"
SIX. “Oh, are you Catholic, then?”
THIS IS THE ONLY FAIR COP. We are indeed absurdly Irish Catholic, except for the going to church part, which is something Our People mostly gave up after Vatican II anyway.
We wanted two children, I think because we were drinking. We ended up with three and then the other one. Could have been worse.
SEVEN. “So, you’re going to be like the Duggars.”
We never got asked this. But I can see how and why fundie freaks might get asked it.
EIGHT. "“Do you really want to be having babies in your forties?”
Never got asked this. This Federalist person associates with weirdos.
NINE. "But what if it’s twins?"
Yeah, our friends aren't imbeciles.
TEN. “But you already have one of each."
Who the fuck do you hang out with? Why?
ELEVEN. “Is your husband getting snipped after this baby?”
In what social circles is this question ever appropriate? I first assumed this was merely a result of the bold and blunt nature of being in the military community, but I have since heard non-military friends complain of being asked this question, as well.
Well, there's your problem. The military community is fucked up, and all your friends are batty. You only know kooks.
I have no idea what the point of The Federalist is supposed to be, though it is encouraging to see that certain far-right nitwits are incredibly excited about setting their money on fire.