The only thing more hideously creepy than what gets you qualified for the GOP 2012 field, is what gets you kicked out of it. It's like drawing straws to see who has to go with the nice policeman to clean out Crazy Uncle Dave's ancient cubbyhole at the Y.
Every year, around this time, I start to get so excited and nostalgic about the Holidays -- Cyber Monday, especially. We'll be gathering around the Cyber Monday Tree tomorrow, singing Cyber Monday carols...
But doesn't it bother you how Cyber Monday has become so... commercial? It seems like nobody even cares anymore about the True Meaning of Cyber Monday.
And this despite heartwarming cartoon programs such as "How the Grinch Stole Cyber Monday" and similar.
On this, as on other issues, the Obama administration needs to free its mind from Wall Street’s thrall.
Barack Obama is neither a stoopit man, nor a bad politician. So why is he incapable of understanding that his perceived acquiesence to Wall Street's excesses is destroying his credibility with both his liberal base and the independent voters he needs to keep out of the angry white man orbit?
Is Wall Street's money really that important? Is the Democratic Party really that reliant on their funding that his political advisors can't see the anger building up against the Tim Geithner/Larry Summers/Goldman Sachs/Business as usual kleptocracy?
If they really are that blind, 2010 is going to be a VERY unhappy awakening.
Molly I & I had drinks & dinner tonight with our old friend Toej at some German-themed place in Williamsburg that is not named Heorot but apparently had the same decorator. Was very good actually.
Anyhow one of the subjects of discussion was Black Friday and Cyber Monday, twin recent phenomena which are even more interesting than they are made-up and stupid -- since these are perhaps the first attempts to ever establish "holidays" which are pure celebrations (if that's the right term; "panic attacks" might be more accurate) of capitalism.
Capitalism has of course very successfully colonized established holidays, in much the same way as Christianity nicked Halloween, etc., from the pagans. Christmas is nowadays pure capitalism; Santa is all about the advertising, and the marketing, and the purchasing of consumer products, despite what the kitsch figurines tell you.
Hell, without Santa and robust holiday season consumer spending, America would be totally fucked. You know what all those cute little Rankin Bass Christmas Special shows really were, and are? Brute motherfucking propaganda, that's what. All that "true meaning of Christmas" horseshit being about being happy with just your family and no toys under the missing stolen tree that the Grinch stole, that is all horseshit.
You're supposed to root for Tiny Tim, and in doing so, you don't feel like such an asshole when Scrooge shows up with a goose and all sorts of other shit -- all that awesome shit you didn't have.
Scrooge's real sin, you see, was in having but not spending. That's why those ghosts bothered his shriveled ass. Tiny Tim didn't need those expensive fucking sneakers, but look how happy he is with them on his rickety little feet, the poor little uninsured fucker. But whatever! Damn, if we were all a nation of Cratchits, happy with jack fucking shit but our miserable poor-assed families and no food on Christmas Morn, as a society and economy, we'd all be fucked. But, you see, if we pretend to believe this "true meaning of Christmas" garbage, then we can feel like it's cool that we're getting a lot of basically pointless expensive shit anyhow. For free! As GIFTS! To US! Who are GOOD!
And the world tumbles on, blissfully dumbassed, economy humming (we hope), sleigh-belled and tinselled, have some more eggnog.
Not that I'm complaining, or worse, sneering. Just pointing out. I quite like my flat-screen TV, for instance. All I'm saying is that Cindy Lou Who is a lying fucking corporate whore.
And that "Black Friday" and "Cyber Monday" seem like transparent attempts to create out of thin air holidays that are nakedly about nothing but celebrating consumer consumption at its rawest, most primal. Or, greedy. I observe in this regard that all local media in the NYC area yesterday sent reporters to the Valley Stream WalMart where raw consumer consumption last Black Friday got someone trampled to death. This year you will be relieved to know, as every goddamn local TV and radio station reported, nobody got killed on their way to enjoying the bargains they need in order to correctly celebrate the holiday that Fox News informs us is properly understood as a celebration of Christ, as opposed to something not Christian, but perhaps pagan, or maybe pro-big government and anti-free-market.
And people bitch about Kwanzaa being "phony." Maybe they should call it Cyber-Kwanzaa Wednesday and give everyone 15% off tube socks and Wiis. Legitimacy at last!
The other thing is, for a world-historical triumphant ideological titan, capitalism sure seems to need a shitload of silly propaganda to keep people believing in it.
Just the other week I was driving into NYC and heard some goofball on one of the news stations explaining how "nobody ever knows they're in the middle of a bubble," which may be true, but is hardly the same thing as saying that bubbles aren't totally fucking obvious to people who aren't getting rich off nonsense. (Toej: "Nobody on coke realizes they aren't actually incredibly cool.")
If you missed the imbecility of the 90s internet bubble, say, well, how hopelessly dumb were you? The housing market stuff of the oughts also was kind of obvious, and not even in retrospect. A "bubble" doesn't mean anything else but a lot of people buying into a lot of happy horseshit and then flinging it around. Guess what the people who said "nobody could have seen that coming" are covered in.
I mean damn. Look at Dubai. I'm not an economist, but let me propose this as the Dubai Principle: whenever you see big giant stupid fucking artificial stylized islands getting built, this may be a tip-off that the people in charge are not necessarily strictly adhering to sober fucking principles of fiscal rectitude.
As long as nobody gets trampled, though, who can bitch? I guess.
I very sincerely wish all our readers a very merry Cyber Monday and happy Gin Funnel Tuesday, a holiday I just invented, to be followed by Jameson's IV Drip Wednesdays, shoot me now, shoot me now.
A new group wants former Vice President Dick Cheney back in the White House.
The organization - "Draft Dick Cheney 2012" - launched on Friday, and unveiled their new Web site.
Their aim: To convince the former vice president to seek the Republican
presidential nomination in the next race for the White House.
"The 2012 race for the Republican nomination for President will be
about much more then who will be the party's standard bearer against
Barack Obama, the race is about the heart and soul of the GOP," said
Christopher Barron, one of the organizers of the Draft Cheney movement.
Right. And who would doubt for a moment that Dick Cheney is indeed the most perfect embodiment of "the heart and soul of the modern GOP"? Not this liberal!
Via, the 50 NME best records of the nothings. And no, the Strokes did not have the best of these, though in principle on my personal top ten list of things I think are stupid, it would be top fifty lists, followed by top ten lists, and then top hundred lists.