Clash of the Morons

Dan Riehl and Jonah Goldberg are having a blogfight. Bitter words have been flung that cannot be called back: "elitist," "delicate flower," "jerk." The one believes the other has "been breathing into a paper bag too much." The other calls the one a limp-wristed fag with a non-ergonomic keyboard, even though "one would assume Goldberg's wrists are strong from holding the door open for Kathleen Parker at NRO, as I would imagine he does." Oooh, burn. (Kathleen Parker, you see, hates Christian Conservatives because of her sexual inadequacies.)

I believe it starts here, with Dan Riehl taking confused exception to a typically bovine Jonah Goldberg post. Dan Riehl seems to think that Jonah Goldberg is a taxpayer-hating, effete elitist who should be ashamed of himself for using the term "ass-clown," because that is "a word which shouldn't even be on NRO imo." Presumably this is because "ass-clown" is too effete, elitist, and offensive to blue-collar taxpayer sensibilities. Jonah Goldberg should perhaps have instead employed a more properly proletarian epithet, such as, for example, "butt-munch."

Dan Riehl's blistering denunciation came as such a shock to Jonah Goldberg, he almost swallowed his cud. Fortunately his inbox flows over with clever rejoinders. Burping with mild vituperation, Jonah Goldberg copies, giggles softly, and pastes: a "reader" responds to Dan Riehl! As it emerges, it is not Jonah Goldberg, but Dan Riehl, who is the "elitist"! It's a switcheroo! Jonah Goldberg clicks "publish," a new profundity is dispatched to the blogosphere, and Jonah Goldberg's pinky returns to its nostril.

And... it goes on from there, chiefly in the "I know you are but what am I" vein. There's not much to this squabble except the entertainment value, which doesn't last long. But it is instructive I suppose to note that when "conservatives" are compelled by circumstances to contemplate something other than how much they hate liberals -- like, say, the question "how come the country hates us?" -- this is pretty much what you get. "Conservatism," stripped down, is nothing more than a delivery mechanism for self-righteous sneering at people you don't like. It's a "philosophy" that works well enough on the Internet, but is perhaps inadequate for, I don't know, running the country or similar enterprises.

Comments

[Ripley]

"Conservatism," stripped down, is nothing more than a delivery mechanism for self-righteous sneering at people you don't like. It's a "philosophy" that works well enough on the Internet, but is perhaps inadequate for, I don't know, running the country or similar enterprises.

Bumper Sticker!!

[Ripley]

I should have added: It doesn't come across all that well on the internets, either. Heh, indeedlejuice!

[DrDick]

I love it when wingnuts eat their own. Of course with Riehl and Goldberg, you are talking about a couple of toothless, retarded kittens, so it is unlikely that any real blood will be shed.

[Melinda]

High-profile blogging is an elite activity, I think, and it seems to me that they could both show solidarity with the working class by not blogging.

At any rate there's a whiff of the "it's intolerant to be intolerant of the intolerant" about it.

[AIMAI]

"there's a whiff of 'its intolerant to be intolerant of the intolerant?" Melinda is way too kind. I'd say it absolutely blasts through the "I know you are, but what am I?" barrier set by two fourth graders who broke into the caffeinated soda and leftover halloween candy.

aimai

[flory]

Sorry, I'm just not impressed with their cyber water-cooler stuff, though I think if they actually interacted with and linked to grass roots bloggers more than they spent time trying to amuse themselves

There you have the real story. Little Danny is upset that Lucianne's little boy doesn't link to him often enough.

[Jemand von Niemand]

They fought so fiercely because the stakes were so small! It's a Battle Of The Titians!!
ARRRRGH!! AARRROOOOOOO!!!

[eastriver]

A palpable hit, my friend.

Douché.

[DrDick]

It's a Battle Of The Titians!!

I would say more of the Battle of the WATBs.

[Righteous Bubba]

This kind of hatefulness reminds me of many murdered innocents.

[Me]

a word which shouldn't even be on NRO imo.

Yes, God forbid anyone should sully the pages of that august journal with something stupid.

[herr doktor bimler]

It's a Battle Of The Titians!!
Anyone who disses his Flaying of Marsyas will incur my wrath.

[low-tech cyclist]

"Conservatism," stripped down, is nothing more than a delivery mechanism for self-righteous sneering at people you don't like.

Which reminds me, I somehow got on Townhall.com's email list. Their latest email offers a free bumpersticker saying, "I'll Keep My Guns... You Can Keep The 'Change'."

Yep, we're coming for their guns, right after we reinstate the Fairness Doctrine.

And for $10, you can buy the 2009 "Liberals Gone Wild" Wall Calendar & CD-ROM.

Next year, while our side's trying to restore our economic system, fight climate change, and provide universal health care, they'll be fighting to hang onto their guns and their radio time, and snarking at libruls.

I wish them complete success.

[nick]

Douché.

I was going to complain about the 5 minutes I wasted reading the exchange ... but then I got this nugget out of it, so it's all worth it.

Also, I ended up clicking on a link to instapundit, and now I feel dirty. And not in a good, Christina Aguilera-the-universe-is-full-of-infinite-sexual-possibilities-dirty way but more in a pigpen-from-peanuts-why-did-the-universe-just-poop-on-my-Sunday-dirty kind of way.

[Mo MoDo]

For someone who still gets bad swirly flashbacks anytime he hears a toilet flush, Doughy Buttload is sure asking to get atomic wedgied after school.

[rev.paperboy]

blogfight, schmlogfight! Can we give them knives? how about socks full of nickles and horseshit?

Shoes at twenty paces?

[Xecky Gilchrist]

"Conservatism," stripped down, is nothing more than a delivery mechanism for self-righteous sneering...

And bullets, if you manage to con the public into giving you the power.

[Dan Coyle]

Something I've never understood: what qualifications does Dan Riehl have to write about any subject? Who is he? Where did he come from? What is his day job?