Entertaining! Now there's a RedState diary from an "ex-Clinton staffer" who went over to the Dark Obama Side and has access to Internal Polls that say Obama has no chance, no chance at all. This one is at least almost literate, at least compared to other efforts of this class we've already seen. But it's still very funny.
I’m going to let you in on a few secrets here, and this is not because I enjoy the gossip or the attention directed my way. I’m doing this because I doubt much of you know the true weaknesses of Obama. Another reason for my doing this is that I am lost faith in this campaign, and feel that this choice has been forced on many people in this country. Put simply, you are being manipulated. That was and is our job – to manipulate you (the electorate) and the media (we already had them months ago). Our goal is to create chaos with the other side, not hope. I’ve come to the realization (as the campaign already has) that if this comes to the issues, Barack Obama doesn’t have a chance. His only chance is to foster disorganization, chaos, despair, and a sense of inevitability among the Republicans. It has worked up until now. Joe the Plumber has put the focus on the issues again, and this scares us more than anything.
That last sentence especially needs some applause. The brain trust over there is promising to "investigate" the diary, which for them probably means they're going to see if it once got read by William Ayers. But honestly, is that necessary? Is the Red State crowd really this thick-browed and gullible? Do you even have to ask?
"All other things being equal, the simplest solution is the best." Occam's razor
The real reason Obama is worried about Tuesday is that in the 37 state Democratic Party Primary contests, he won 18 of 37 elections. He also won 13 of 14 caucuses. His losses included Florida, Pennsylvania, Indiana, and Ohio; all battleground states. He has the MSM convincing voters that he can win a national 50 state election when he failed in doing so within his own party's 37 multi-state contests.
McCain, on the other hand, won Florida, Pennsylvania, Indiana, and Ohio, during the Republican Primary season. And, the one caucus contest Obama lost; it was Nevada - another battleground state.
Question: What if the NFL's NFC or AFC sent to the Superbowl a team that went 4-0 pre-season but played 1 under .500 in the regular season? The bookmakers in Vegas would offer laughable odds and the television network carrying the broadcast could not sell a dime's worth of ad time at real Superbowl rates. Fans would boycott the game and sportswriters would mock the event.
Some people should be probibited by law from attempting metaphors.
The sole nugget in this mess I hadn't seen before is the novel theory that Obama manipulated ACORN into manufacturing thousands and thousands of phony registrations, which tricked the polling firms into oversampling Democratic voters, thus producing an illusion of Obama Inevitablity. This has a certain elegance for those who appreciate aesthetic symmetry when examining cockamamie conspiracy theories.
Apart from that, enjoy the spectacle of people desperately clinging to the hope that the Bradley Effect might just be true. They quite literally are hoping that the country is secretly more racist than it is willing to admit in public. Which is, I guess, rational, by their standards. After all its not like such hopes haven't turned out to be happy realities for them in the past.
Moe informs the inmates over there that he's looking into the authenticity of the post, which is swell. I bet it was Dan Rather who sent it. Check the kerning.
MORE: Easily the most awesome comment on this preposterous bit of classic trolling comes from Don Surber, who is, as he'll remind you, a Real Journalist with lots of Experience:
Hat tip: Lucianne. Her willingness to link it gave me confidence in its authenticity.
That's Lucianne Goldberg, of course, who gave the world both Linda Tripp and the bovine genius of her cud-chewing progeny, Jonah. And Pam Gellar is also willing to leap on board with this, which I suppose makes it Double-Plus Authentic, by Surber's "lights" (a series of illumination devices with whose aid Surber is able to locate his ass with both hands an impressive 15% of the time with only 65 man-hours of effort).
