Jihad! Jihad upon Tom Hilton! Also, the Rise of PISSY

Over at No More Mr. Nice Blog, Tom writes:

Patience and Humility are not qualities highly prized in the blogosphere; nor are they in great abundance there. Nevertheless, they are occasionally useful.

Some progressives are preparing to pass judgment on the Obama Administration before it ever takes office, based on the appointments he makes in the interim. Disappointment is the natural state of progressives; happily, they habitually set their standards high enough to ensure they will always reside in their comfort zone. It is our habit as bloggers to respond to things as they happen, which means we overstate the importance of trivial events. Progressive bloggers, then...well, Obama will be lucky to hold onto more than a handful of us past the end of November.

Still, I will counsel patience. This could be a disaster, or a tremendous success, or a disaster for some and a success for others, but we won't know until well into the second year at the earliest. With Bush, it was different: anyone who was paying attention knew exactly what he would do, and how he would do it, and that's what he did. There was no reason to give him any benefit of any doubt. Obama, I think, has earned a fair amount of forbearance--as the first African-American president, as the first victorious Democrat since 1996, as someone who ran a generally honorable and inclusive campaign, as one who ran on an agenda of improving people's lives, as the most skillful politician since Clinton (whom, if things go well, he could well eclipse), as someone in whose success we have a vested interest. In other words, how about we wait and see?

This is of course absurd. How many of the promises Obama made during the campaign about his "transformational presidency" has he as yet actually kept? Honest observers will concede that the answer is none. Sure, there has been a lot of chatter about what he will do about "executive orders" but so far this is all talk.

What Hilton and his ideological fellow Obamandroids forget is 9/11. 9/11 changed everything. Obama won the election about a month ago, and what has he done about 9/11? Not a thing! I just checked, and 9/11 still happened.

I am a Lifelong Democrat, but I cannot abide these betrayals. I did not leave the Democratic Party, the Democratic Party left me and is now I think screening its calls.

For these reasons I have started POLITICAL INTEGRATION SURE SEEMS YUCKY, or "PISSY."

Our first order of business is to have Obama impeached and John McCain installed as President. I am not so "certain" this is possible by Thanksgiving, but realistically I think we can get this done by Christmas. And don't tell me otherwise you "Eeeyores" and "Little Roos" and "Piglets"!

UPDATE: I really am becoming more "conservative." P. J. O'Rourke, the funniest guy on the right except for Dennis Miller, makes a great point here:

it should be especially easy to move voters to the right. Sensible adults are conservative in most aspects of their private lives. If this weren't so, imagine driving on I-95: The majority of drivers are drunk, stoned, making out, or watching TV, while the rest are trying to calculate the size of their carbon footprints on the backs of Whole Foods receipts while negotiating lane changes.

It's true! And I bet drivers on I-95 would be even more responsible if we got rid of all those intrusive nanny-state "traffic regulations" that stifle the innovative, individualistic, "real-American" "can-do" spirit of the Open Road.

Every time I wanna get anywhere, I keep having to stop at all these "stop lights" that Hinder My Progress, just because a bunch of big-government beaureaucratic stooges decided up there in their "ivory towers" that "everyone should have a turn"! I don't know what "socialism" is, but that sure sounds like it to me!

MORE. I have also decided to use the Boldface option more often, as well as "quotation marks." And I think until PISSY gets its way, I will post this free Clip-Art DANCING LEPRECHAUN! This is but the first step, I think, in building a More Mature and Responsible Progressive Blogosphere.

Comments

[hamletta]

The Clip-Art Dancing Leprechaun has utterly convinced me of your way of thinking.

You are the most awesome genius what has ever been spawned by woman. With some help from manly-man sperm, of course.

And let us not forget the help of the manly Clip-Art Dancing Leprechaun, because he is very manly.

[Thers]

The Clip-Art Dancing Leprechaun has utterly convinced me of your way of thinking.

Not being convinced by the Clip-Art Dancing Leprechaun is a sure example of "ad hominem argument."

[DrDick]

But I don't want "a More Mature and Responsible Progressive Blogosphere." I like the rude, irresponsible clusterfuck we have now.

[Thers]

But I don't want "a More Mature and Responsible Progressive Blogosphere." I like the rude, irresponsible clusterfuck we have now.

Sigh. Clearly you have not spent "nearly" enough time watching the Clip-Art Dancing Leprechaun.

[flory]

I welcome our new Clip Art Dancing Leprechaun Overlords.

[Poicephalus]

Dude,
stopy it!
You're scaring me.

Mollllllyyyyyyy
talk some sense into the irony.

Pls.

C

And if MI starts doing this schtick with MoDo, I am sooooo outta here.

[masculine_monica_nyc]

Having been mesmerized by the dancing legs, I am near epic PISSY!

[va]

You've set your sights too low. Why be king of the right blogosphere when you could be the Vice President of Republicans? Ride that anti stop sign platform all the way to the top, me lad.

Mollllllyyyyyyy
talk some

I bet she saw this day coming.

[Me]

the funniest guy on the right except for Dennis Miller

"Low Bar: Conservatism in the 21st Century" will continue after these few messages.

[Phila]

Nice try, but the time for action was last week, when Obama won despite having promised not to win for the good of the Party.

Waiting until Xmas is unacceptable. We need to focus our efforts on building a time machine so that we can go back and vote the bastard out. If we can get Stephen Hawking and, say, Steve Forbes on board, this should be fairly light work.

Which is why I feel confident that real lifelong Democrats will eschew the effete appeaso-collaborationist do-nothingism of PISSY, and join up with DILDO (Desist It [Leprechaun Dance, Obviously]).

[Dillon]

Perhaps you could team up with Roger Stone in order to form the PISSY CUNT coalition.

[karen marie]

is tom hilton that overwrought all the time or is this a special post-election hysterics?

[Kordo]

Agreed. Obama has been President-Elect for what, like, a week? Samantha Power is not yet SecDef, the minimum wage isn't $25 an hour, and I haven't gotten my hydrogen-powered flying car yet. Clearly, we've been had. And kudos for "rude, irresponsible clusterfucks", 'cause I like those.

The dancing leprechaun is a compelling argument, as well.

[sdf (Stu)]

Please don't forget how drivers, being fundamentally conservative, all demand that I-95 be fully funded by those who use it and that all state and federal funding of highway construction (and those pesky troopers who ensure highway safety) cease forthwith.

[zsa]

O'Rourke's point seems to be that conservatives have been consistently failing conservatism for 3 decades. Kind of an odd lesson to draw after 30 years. He's at the point where he clearly recognizes the epic-ness of the fail, but can't quite wrap his mind around the possibility that his core political philosophy is a simple-minded misapprehension of the actual world.

We, the conservatives, who do understand the free market ...

This is my favorite line in the whole piece ... it's almost magically naive and breathtakingly arrogant in one stroke ...

[sdf (Stu)]

I would also add that Obama has done nothing to respond to the leprechaun since you first posted this over several hours ago.

[stickler]

So, unless I misread your Celtic whiskey-addled copy and pastings, Mr. Hilton actually bloviated this:

With Bush, it was different: anyone who was paying attention knew exactly what he would do, and how he would do it, and that's what he did. There was no reason to give him any benefit of any doubt.

Yeah. About that "paying attention" bit. I recall Mr. Bush The Lesser telling me in the summer of 2000 that he would create a "more humble foreign policy" and never, ever, ever use our military for "nation building" and that he'd be a careful steward of our government's budget surpluses. Also, "compassionate conservatism."

Was this Mr. Hilton functionally disabled sometime between November 2000 and late August, 2001? If so, my condolences.

[Thers]

Yeah. About that "paying attention" bit. I recall Mr. Bush The Lesser telling me in the summer of 2000 that he would create a "more humble foreign policy" and never, ever, ever use our military for "nation building" and that he'd be a careful steward of our government's budget surpluses. Also, "compassionate conservatism."

He was lying. And not very well, either.

[Earnest "Dorky" McLib]

Okay, I'm not sure what P.I.S.S.Y. is supposed to represent, but I think I got one of your jokes:

"More Mature and Responsible Progressive Blogosphere."

MMR. PB? Mr. Pibb, is that you? Hah! The soft drink of decidedly non-elitist secretaries and grade school teachers worldwide! That is indeed the path to a grander coalition!

Thers, you have opened my eyes with laughter on this day and congratulations are in order.

[Jemand von Niemand]

What's with this Irishcentric graphic? For my money, I expected a line of dancing Badgers.

[actor212]

Sensible adults are conservative in most aspects of their private lives.

Yea, that's why Larry Craig was trolling for strange casual sex in a public men's room...

[Tom Hilton]

Yeah. About that "paying attention" bit. I recall Mr. Bush The Lesser telling me in the summer of 2000 that he would create a "more humble foreign policy" and never, ever, ever use our military for "nation building" and that he'd be a careful steward of our government's budget surpluses. Also, "compassionate conservatism."

Does the word 'Florida' ring any bells for you? 'Brooks Brothers riot'? 'Bush v. Gore'? Any of it coming back to you?

It was painfully obvious to anyone who was paying attention that the way Bush 'won' was the way he would govern. And that's exactly what happened.

[iamcoyote]

Can I get that leprechaun on a t-shirt? Otherwise, I can't reach my full PISSY potential.

[Poopyman]

Well, I'm glad you settled on PISSY rather than, uh, something else.

[Righteous Bubba]

If this weren't so, imagine driving on I-95:

He is so stupid.

[actor212]

Now, Thom, in fairness, the BBRiots et al happened after Bush lied to us, errrr, softened us up for his administration.

[actor212]

Well, I'm glad you settled on PISSY rather than, uh, something else.

Party Unity Sure Seems Yucky, too...

[flory]

Well, I'm glad you settled on PISSY rather than, uh, something else.

Party Unity Sure Seems Yucky, too...

I don't even wanna know what would be dancing on that post.

[Jemand von Niemand]

Thers has the major items (use of boldface and "quotation marks") down.

But let's all remember the stylistic bits! Copy the following sentence by typing it out yourself:

The scientific method, which has been part of our culture for more than a century, systematically roots out flaws and seeks new insights.

Now, do the same with the paragraph below, until you've melded it's style with yours (presuming you have one):

In Europe and Canada, the cure for every malady seems to be multiculturalism. This is the odd notion that all cultures are equal -- except for that of your own nation, which should be made to constantly bend to the aggrieved sensibilities of minority cultures. In Vancouver, Canada, smoking has been banned pretty much everywhere, except in Muslim-run hookah parlors.

Awzomest!

[stickler]

Yeah, I don't quite think things are as clear-cut as Mr. Tom puts it:

It was painfully obvious to anyone who was paying attention that the way Bush 'won' was the way he would govern. And that's exactly what happened.

Well, he also distanced himself from that stuff, sort of, and appointed Dick Cheney to head his VP search. Remember, in 2000, Dick Cheney represented something like the "sane wing" of the GHWBush administration. (Yeah, I know, but back then, who knew?)

Anyhow, all I meant to say was that to imagine that the rampaging disaster that GWB would be was NOT, actually, bleeding obvious in 2000. That he was a dimwitted twit was quite clear. But he seemed to mouth the right platitudes to sanity and promised to appoint sane, if staid, Republican cloth-coat Cabinet members. (Colin Powell! How ya doin'!?)

Obama has been opaque, too. But not in the same, nefarious way. And in 2008 that is quite apparent. But in 2000 Bush's depth of mendacity was not by any means as clear.

(NB: "not by any means as clear TO ME." Your mileage may vary. My own cynicism level has increased somewhat since 2000, as it happens.)

[stickler]

And might I add that the dancing leprechaun has put me off my Pilsner a bit. For some reason I'm craving a nice tumbler of whiskey.

Damned leprechauns.

[Thers]

Anyhow, all I meant to say was that to imagine that the rampaging disaster that GWB would be was NOT, actually, bleeding obvious in 2000.

I'm going to claim cool points here -- I was telling people that he would invade Iraq months before he was elected. I don't even think 9/11 sped up the timetable.

Even from the GOP primaries, he struck me as a callow, vicious liar.

[Tom Hilton]

I come down a lot closer to Thers than stickler on this point. I knew he was a lying sack of shit before the election (from the debates, if nothing else); I don't think I knew exactly how partisan-authoritarian he would be until Florida.

[actor212]

Oh right, he's a Republican! That's a no-brainer, the lying sack of shit part, the problem is figuring out which bits he was really lying about and which he was dissembling.

[herr doktor bimler]

In an ideal world, the Obama family would choose 'Jihad' as the name of their dog. The news media would then be able to report that 'President calls Jihad', and all would be well.

[John O]

Thers, you really are some sort of twisted (not a pejorative term in my at least as twisted universe) genius.

I almost ruined the keyboard.

There is no time! We have to start ripping him NOW! Who cares if he's not in office yet? Waiting, you know, until Obama has actually done something is for PISSY losers!

We, the progressive blogosphere, must Balkinize immediately! And after that, we must Malkinize!

[Mark B]

I especially like the whisky idea, but like GWB I am a recovering alcoholic. He and I may get together and have a few, er, "pretzels"!!

[Phoenix Woman]

Bless you, Thers. Some people need to take their meds.

[Bitter Scribe]

I bet drivers on I-95 would be even more responsible if we got rid of all those intrusive nanny-state "traffic regulations" that stifle the innovative, individualistic, "real-American" "can-do" spirit of the Open Road.

You think you're funny, but O'Rourke is very fond of both speeding and liquor. I hope he never tries driving in my neighborhood.