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September 15, 2008

What Makes the Buzzard Buzz

The NYT.

In one of the most dramatic days in Wall Street’s history, Merrill Lynch agreed to sell itself on Sunday to Bank of America for roughly $50 billion to avert a deepening financial crisis, while another prominent securities firm, Lehman Brothers, announced it will file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

The humbling moves, which reshape the landscape of American finance, mark the latest chapter in a tumultuous year in which once-proud financial institutions have been brought to their knees as a result of hundreds of billions of dollars in losses because of bad mortgage finance and real estate investments.

But even as the fates of Lehman and Merrill hung in the balance, another crisis loomed as the insurance giant American International Group appeared to teeter. Staggered by losses stemming from the credit crisis, A.I.G. sought a $40 billion lifeline from the Federal Reserve, without which the company may have only days to survive.

I can't see what the problem is.

Just bomb the everliving shit out of Tehran.

Duh. Easy. Why are we still even talking about this?

UPDATE. Look, wiseasses, if you aren't going to even bother to familiarize yourselves with the nuances and grand strategy of John McCain's domestic policy proposals, why should I even pretend to take you freaks seriously? It's your duty as citizens to educate yourselves as to our options in these complex & difficult times.

Un-frickin-believable.

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Comments

No, the solution is tax cuts for the wealthy, since they will need to recover from the hardships imposed from all these major firms collapsing.

Look into your heart and find some pity for the disinfranchised wealthy.

Is it the Jews or the Islamos that have done this damage to our fine financial institutions? Or the Russcoms? It's hard for a reactionary to stay current.

This is clearly the fault of the Democrats who have been in control of all three branches of government for the last 20 years. Oh, wait.....

Think I am exagerating? Go check out the new McCain add at FDL.

Just bomb the everliving shit out of Tehran.

"Oh, you meant that part of the Bush Doctrine, Charlie."

(ugly sneer, half disquised as a smile, snort, half disguised as a laugh)

"Guess you could call Bush a community disorganizer, Charlie. We like to call it his own private Marshall Plan for Arabs."

(Sorry, joke only works if you can willingly suspend your disbelief that Palin even knows what the Marshall Plan is.)

McCAIN: I'm John McCain, and I just think this message is awsome.

VISUAL: Photomontage of Democratic Presidents: Roosevelt, Truman; Kennedy, Johnson, and a photo of Karl Marx.

V-O: After generations of damage to our free-market system by liberal Democrats, the American economy is on the brink of destruction.

VISUAL: An older couple seated at a kitchen table, wth a single can of beans open between them, obviously frightened.

V-O: Now, as another godless Muslim tax-and-spend radical, Obama wants to take more away from you -- in the form of higher taxes -- and to turn what's left of America over to his radical allies.

VISUAL: Fast photomontage of a rioting crowd; antiwar protests; Edward Kennedy, Al Sharpton, the Dixie Chicks; Osama bin Laden; the San Francisco Gay Pride Parade; exterior of a family planning clinic; and a polar bear.

V-O: -- and... Senator Obama wants to date your sister.

VISUAL: Man sitting on curb, drinking Woolite.

V-O: But John McCain knows the heart of America. He stands for those things we all stand for. Those things that make America the greatest nation on earth for all time.

VISUAL: Photos of the Dallas Cheerleaders; a large pile of American currency; Chateaubriand on a plate; heavily-built, older caucasian men on a golf course.

Finally, dissolve to, hold, and slowly zoom in on a photo of a small, Golden Retriever puppy.

V-O: John McCain wants to protect the America we all believe in.

VISUAL: extreme close up of the small dog.

V-O:... and because Senator Obama wants this puppy to die.

VISUAL: Black screen, except for the words, McCain-Palin '08 (Paid For By Friends Of The Puppy.)

Just bomb the everliving shit out of Tehran.

No serious person would advocate this until we have gathered intelligence from expatriate liars with axes to grind.

But don't forget that McCain's going to, in his words, "clean up Wall Street." Oh, yes, the man with all those lobbyists running his campaign is certainly going to stick it to those dastards on Wall Street. You betcha. Any day now.

Bomb the everlasting shit out of Iran?

What happened to Drill, Baby, Drill?!?

VISUAL: Man sitting on curb, drinking Woolite.

"It was the best lay of my life". Ah, that ol' Woody Allen.

Bomb the everlasting shit out of Iran?

What happened to Drill, Baby, Drill?!?

First bomb, then drill. Now wasn't that easy?

...familiarize yourselves with the nuances and grand strategy of John McCain's domestic policy proposals...

Johnny's got yer nuance for ya.

And, what's wrong -- j'ya hate America or somethin'?

This bit of news reminds me that I still want Social Security to be privatized because Wall Street obviously knows best. I also like turtles.

AIG now needs $75 billion, or roughly what we paid out to Bear Stearns, Merrill Lynch and FannieMae/FreddieMac combined.

Now, if you took $150 billion and just gave half of it to all the people who are in default on their mortgages and brought them current, you'd have solved all these problems.

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