Echo and His Brother

The self-refuting nature of the wingnut function. Jonah Goldberg, unwilling to let go of a stupid idea, informs us that it is mean of Barack Obama to say that John McCain does not use email, because (1) John McCain is too a Technical Wizard, and (2) for very good reasons owing to POW stuff John McCain is prevented from being a Technical Wizard. Observe:

The ad is dishonest. McCain has been one of the Senate’s leading authorities on telecom and the Internet.

In 2000, Forbes magazine called him the “Senate’s savviest technologist.” That same year, Slate’s Jacob Weisberg gushed that McCain was the most “cybersavvy” of all the presidential candidates, a crop that included none other than Al Gore. Being chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee, Weisberg explained, “forced him to learn about the Internet early on, and young Web entrepreneurs such as Jerry Yang and Jeff Bezos fascinate him.”

John McCain, techie genius!

One reason McCain is not versed in the mechanical details of sending e-mail and typing on a keyboard is that the North Vietnamese broke his fingers and shattered both of his arms. As Forbes, Slate, and the Boston Globe reported in 2000, McCain’s injuries make using a keyboard painfully laborious. He mostly relies on his wife and staff to show him e-mails and Web sites, though he says he’s getting up to speed.

John McCain, wounded noob!

Yes, yes, I know this is all rather warmed over. But it's fun that Jonah sees fit to keep using blog-standard garbage that was discredited last week for his nationally-distributed column. He's recycling, and good for him! Very eco-conscious is our Jonah.

Anyhow, Jonah is still just D-II, and only worth our attention for the lulz. Moving on up: Here's George Will, taking Yeats out of context and just generally acting like an absolute twat*. Observe how the following paragraph demonstrates, all on its own, and more eloquently than I could ever manage, and I am pretty damn fucking eloquent, the utter bankruptcy of "conservative thought":

Palin is as bracing as an Arctic breeze and delightfully elicits the condescension of liberals whose enthusiasm for everyday middle-class Americans cannot survive an encounter with one. But the country's romance with her will, as romances do, cool somewhat, and even before November some new fad might distract a nation that loves "American Idol" for the metronomic regularity with which it discovers genius in persons hitherto unsuspected of it.

"American Idol" is "everyday middle class America," George Will, you fucking twat*.

American conservatism is in trouble because it can't keep even its bigotries straight. When you want to sneer at liberal elitism AND quote Yeats AND sneer at "American Idol" AND cheer on the "middle class" AND say that ordinary Americans are fickle dopes AND deplore "liberal condescension" AND go after the Unwashed for being "metronomic" (!)...

Goeorge Will is a confused sniveling asshole with a thesaurus, and why are we listening to his silly hectoring again? Oh yeah. The Socialist Liberal Media pays him a lot of money to babble on as he does. Thanks a heap, comrades.

(*As always, on this blog the word "twat" is used with the precisely the same inflection and connotation the term carries in the film "Shaun of the Dead." American English is colorful and inventive, but lacks a precise synonym of abuse in this regard, regrettably.)

UPDATE. Remember: men have been impeached for less. No, seriously. They were. Honesty! I'm not kidding! Well, one was. But only because he was a Democrat. (I'm going to have to try to explain the 1990s to the 9-Year-Old very soon -- he's already asking questions...)

Comments

[merl]

McCain never said he COULDN'T use email, he said he saw no need to.
The North fucking Vietnamese had nothing to do with that.
He did say he couldn't use a computer. He can use a blackberry and fly a Corsair, though.

[Ripley]

If Goldberg were scripted into a superhero/villain movie, I think his character would be known as The Justifier. I'm surprised that he was able to find the time and energy needed to 'research' this bit of McCain's history, though - assuming, of course, that he didn't ask one of his online readers to send him this information. He's a national treasure.

I think Will is just going through the motions. "As my column clearly shows, I've again written a bland stew of vagueries which is both not-edgy and written in English. Let my gentle words lull you into your soft, velvety Tomorrow, America."

[Me]

Are you sure you didn't do any condensing of Will's column? You mean he really did cram all of those contradictions into back-to-back sentences?

[actor212]

As always, on this blog the word "twat" is used with the precisely the same inflection and connotation the term carries in the film "Shaun of the Dead." American English is colorful and inventive, but lacks a precise synonym of abuse in this regard, regrettably.

"Schmuck".

I count Yiddish as English. I live in New York.

Actually, that Will paragraph is one of the better ones I've read from him. He's not bad at putting a sentence together...noun, verb, Will...but to complete a thought seems beyond him without a detour thru Tanzania.

Or more precisely, getting thoroughly lost and ending up in Tanzania, instead of at his original point.

[DrDick]

Jonah Goldberg, unwilling to let go of a stupid idea

Well of course he is. Those are the only kind he ever has and even they are rare events. He feels a need to savor them as long as possible, before sliding back into his normal Cheetos induced coma.

[Davis]

I think twat describes Will better than schmuck. Goldberg is a schmuck.

[theperilouspea]

Not to be contrarian but up here in A_____ we use these braces to shore up the walls of condensation . It is like a hedge against the breezy more elite sorts who populate our burgeoning entertainment industry .
That and the forced hot air heating .

[iamcoyote]

Goldberg is a schmuck.

Said in Salma Hayek's voice from Dogma, of course.

[Porlock Hussein Junior]

My sympathy for having to explain the Clinton impeachment to the 9-yer-old. I was lucky: the kids were the right age during the events that one could just leave them to pick it up in gutter. Probably presented it in more comprehensible & immediate terms than I could have.

And now I wonder: Does that old "pick it up in the gutter" phrase for the alternative to proper sex education still mean anything to anybody?