We party hard, so you don't have to - it's Friday Night Drinking Club!

by Ripley

Hi, kids!

[Hi, Rip!]

It's finally Friday!  And that can only mean one thing... FUN!  You remember FUN!, don't you?  Sure, you do!  I know, it feels like the dragon is breathing down our necks, sometimes, but we need some down time and a few laughs, right?  (And, frankly, Thers ain't the most serious SOB you could find, so I think he'd appreciate a little levity here.  You can send him e-mails about how AWFUL things were when he gets back home... party poopers!)

I'm in the middle of moving my music to a different drive, so I haven't been looking around for the Funny or Stupid, lately.  So, this is your chance to shine, WhiskeyFire fans!  What's on your mind?  What's on your agenda for the weekend?  What's the matter with Kansas, beyond that crazy hippy violin player?

I'll be back in a bit with some more shenanigans and maybe a surprise.  In the meantime, enjoy this!

The Party - Gary Myrick & The Figures

I remember a local band playing this song when I was 20.  And a girl named Kim.  Coulda, woulda, shoulda... She's a nurse now.  And she's gone. 

Walk Away Renee - The Left Banke (steve simels approved)

Believe it or not, I've played with more amps for smaller audiences.  Freebird!

Tell us about your weekend!

- Straining the limits of machine and man -

The Consumerist gets a little testy over some illogical BS from the FCC. 

FCC Commissioner Robert McDowell (R-Obviously) recently warned conservative bloggers that the Commission's decision to repudiate Comcast for crippling Bit Torrent could lead the government to start "dictating content policy" by requiring blogs to give equal time to opposing views. Ha! Of course, this can be avoided if we vote for the *ahem* "right" candidate in November.

The commissioner, a 2006 President Bush appointee, told the Business & Media Institute the Fairness Doctrine could be intertwined with the net neutrality battle. The result might end with the government regulating content on the Web, he warned. McDowell, who was against reprimanding Comcast, said the net neutrality effort could win the support of “a few isolated conservatives” who may not fully realize the long-term effects of government regulation.

“I think the fear is that somehow large corporations will censor their content, their points of view, right,” McDowell said. “I think the bigger concern for them should be if you have government dictating content policy, which by the way would have a big First Amendment problem.”

“Then, whoever is in charge of government is going to determine what is fair, under a so-called ‘Fairness Doctrine,’ which won’t be called that – it’ll be called something else,” McDowell said. “So, will Web sites, will bloggers have to give equal time or equal space on their Web site to opposing views rather than letting the marketplace of ideas determine that?”

McDowell's scare tactics aren't new. Conservative bloggers have tried to sabotage the net neutrality debate by making a false connection to the long-dead fairness doctrine, which required regulated media outlets to give equal time to opposing views. If the government penalizes Comcast for crippling the internet, the argument goes, well then that friends is regulation; and if the government can regulate Comcast, it must, obviously, regulate the rest of the internet immediately. This kindles the fear of god in conservative talk show hosts like Rush Limbaugh, who would rather stay silent than let Al Franken take up his airtime calling him a big fat idiot.

So, let's get this straight, kids.  If you want unlimited use of bandwidth, for whatever reason, bloggers might be required to offer equal time for opposing views?  Wait, what if you're not a blogger?  Oh, sorry, I forgot the most important detail of the article:  "The commissioner, a 2006 President Bush appointee..." 

Sweet pickled balls, that's the most insane argument I've heard since "not all violations of the law are crimes".  Oh, wait... what was I thinking?  USA! USA!

- They'd eventually write Hamlet -

They got me.  I thought they were just blowing smoke up my skirt when they said there were 400 paid bloggers pushing an Obama agenda.  But then I read this:

Third, as I have acknowledged repeatedly in this blog, I am one of 300-odd “informal foreign policy advisors” to the Obama campaign.

What can I say?  Oh, right - this:

In 2004, Charlie served as co-director of the human rights, democracy, and development policy team for the Kerry-Edwards campaign and is currently an unpaid policy adviser on these issues to the Obama campaign.

Let the PUMA roar
Like it's never roared before
Let the PUMA roar...

- She doesn't like the tough guys... or Stiff Little Fingers -

I've been lax in covering the usual crowd of door-stop-stupid clowns that Thers usually gets around to.  I apologize (for the dangler, as well).  So, I thought I'd take a dip from the well, just to keep with the spirit of this here blog.  I don't know where Thers finds the will.  I swear I don't....  To wit:

K-Lo: "Get your hands off that hoo-hoo, you little fucking sluts girls!"

Whoa, there. So to Planned Parenthood abstinence means masturbation? [Um, I don't want to get all technical, but your fingers aren't a penis, K-Lo]   Abstinence education can never be about simply saying, "Here's what you can do so no one gets pregnant but you can still get some sexual kicks." [ It's not Orgasm Denial, it's Abstinence.  Get a damned dictionary!] 

Planned Parenthood and most other sex-ed programs try to find a stopgap solution, attempt to repair kids' warped view of sex while still allowing them to watch "One Tree Hill."  [Planned Parenthood is promoting One Tree Hill? Huh?  Oh, and speaking of warped views of sex...] 

The girl in the Planned Parenthood video is, of course, right to say that her night at home won't give her disease or a baby. But it's no way to live. She's cutting herself off from others. She believes she lives in a world in which sex or simulating sex are the only options on a Friday night. [WTF?  Is that what she believes, K-Lo?  Did you write the script?  Do you even know any teenaged girls?]

The bottom line is that responsible educators need to be doing more than nagging young people not to have sex.  [Nagging them not to masurbate might just work, though.  Also, are you listening to yourself at all???]   Of course that won't work. Teens are not stupid; they're human and know there's something appealing about it, and they shouldn't be told otherwise.  [Do you even read what you write?  I'm guessing you don't.]

These are just some highlights, ladies.  You have to read the entire column to get the... feel of it.  Thers usually settles for mockery and ridicule of these dimwits, but I'm not feeling that charitable tonight so I'll just come right out and say it.

Kathryn Jean Lopez, if you're telling us you've never masturbated you're a god damned liar.  You evidently don't know the first thing about sex, sexuality or human relationships.  You're a hack writer, a liar, a piss poor 'editor', and you don't deserve the attention you get - much less, any respect.  You're a worthless role model for young girls and women, and you do American women a disservice as a kept woman of the partisan, patrician construct that the World is desperately trying to shake off.   You are part of The Problem.

Yeah, I said it.  Print it out, paste it on your wall and stare at it every day, Kathryn.  And think about what you're doing.  For a change...

- Fortunately, it was a gentle probing -

Our pal, Eli, makes Jerome Corsi's dick wilt, just a little.

2008 Election Shocker: Bat Boy Endorses Muslim Bigfoot Antichrist!

Better get cracking, Jerome! 2012's only 50-some months away!  Also, Jerome Corsi is a transvestite prostitute Chinese spy - at least that's that I've heard.  Not that there's anything wrong with that...

- I need a ride to the morgue, that's what 911 is for -

Ho-lee God!  I hadn't watched this video until now.  Words fail...

These people do not represent Sen. Clinton.  They don't.

Where's the money, Will?  Where's the money, Darragh?  Show us the money!  Or go the hell away.

- It's a matter of Trust -

What, you don't trust me?

You been Chili-rolled, baby! What can I say?  I'm a sucker for the 80's stuff. 

Rip -

Comments

[actor212]

Bitching and moaning about the fact that I have to skip my annual group dive trip to Bonaire and THANK YOU so much for reminding me I could be having fun! :P

[Ripley]

Buck up, little camper!

That's all I've got. Your weekend is screwed, pally. Screwed!

[masculine_monica_nyc]

Sweet pickled balls

Those are not on my menu for this weekend. However, here's my vagina!

I am planning to work, read, maybe watch some DVDs or Olympics while I work. What is the weekend, again?

From Season 5 of The Wire:

"A lie ain't a side of the story. It's just a lie."

[Ripley]

I'd stick with the reading and DVD watching, monica. There's plenty of time to do work, next week.

Btw, long time no see!

[iamcoyote]

"A lie ain't a side of the story. It's just a lie."

I'm stealing this, thanks.

Hey Rip!

Yay Friday!

[masculine_monica_nyc]

Btw, long time no see!

Yeah, I was offline for a while and now am making a nuisance of myself somewhat irregularly again. It's great!

How's by you, Rip?

[masculine_monica_nyc]

I'm stealing this, thanks.

You are most welcome. Season 5 of The Wire just killed the media. It was great.

[Ripley]

I'm good, moni. Hope you're doing well, too!

K-Lo coming up in 3...2...

[Ripley]

coyote, you found me!

Silly me, I forgot to fwd the FDNC over here. Blogger? More like a... not.. bloggy... guy!

Good thing I'm not in charge of anything, I suppose.

[iamcoyote]

Pshaw, Rip, I knew you were here. It was just a long Friday before I could tip a pint. WF is a daily stop anyhow, so you couldn't get far. Besides, who couldn't follow the trail of beer cans you left behind you? Recycle, damn it!

[Ripley]

Besides, who couldn't follow the trail of beer cans you left behind you? Recycle, damn it!

LMAO Seriously!

Sucks to be typecast, I suppose...

[Paul]

Rip-

a big BIG thanks from me for the Chilliwack vids. I heard "Whatcha Gonna Do" exactly once on the radio back in '82, and had to leave before I could find out the name of the band/song.

And since that time, I've been trying to figure out who the heck this was. All I kept coming up with was a completely different song (the one of the same name by Pablo Cruise).

You have solved a decades-old mystery for me. I will sleep well tonight.
Much appreciation.

[Ripley]

You're welcome, Paul. I've gone through that before, too, so glad I could help.

[va]

Can we have a Saturday Morning Hangover Support Group? Fuck.

[iamcoyote]

I'm so sorry I clicked on the MSNBC vid. Ugh. No, they don't support Hillary, or democracy. It's all about them. And I'm sick of the puma dorks pretending they represent 18 million Hillary voters. That's a lie. Their membership is a couple bloggers and a bunch of 'puke trolls.

[steve simels]

Gary Myrick and the Figures?

Wow...I thought I was the only person alive who remembered or liked them....

[Ripley]

The weird thing is, steve, that I can't find an mp3 of that song anywhere - it's like the great mystery mp3 of our generation.

Paul, I forgot to mention that I was actually looking for that Pablo Cruise video. There's an incredible live performance but I couldn't find it, and ended up with the Chiliwack video. They're rather underrated, imo.

[Tengrain]

Rip -

First off, props to you for finding Gary Myrick and the Figures. I had a vid up of them a few weeks back, and no one commented. I felt, crushed, defeated, destroyed...

But now that you took on Sarah-Lee, I mean K-Lo, I feel all better. She's just an amazing treat, isn't she?

Regards,

Tengrain