The Old Grunt Packs up the Hose

This is exciting! John McCain is set to name his choice for vice president, or so it is rumored. It had been suggested that he would hold off on this Big Announcement until after Obama had made his pick, but, well, according to the unreliable asshole who is passing along this gossip:

Sources close to Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign are suggesting he will reveal the name of his vice presidential selection this week while Sen. Barack Obama is getting the headlines on his foreign trip.

Sure. Of course Obama is not merely "getting the headlines" -- if the Iraqis want a withdrawal, and that's the popular sentiment in America also, which it is, then the only rationale for McCain's entire campaign is gone, stupid as it always was, and he's fucked. So what the hell else is he going to do?

If he does announce his VP pick in the next week or so, or before Obama, it's a sign that he knows just how fucked he is. It'll grab headlines and maybe twits like Mark Halperin will be moved to declare McCain the Winner of the Week or some such horseshit.

Nevertheless, in the long run, it remains the case that the pool in which McCain is fishing for his sidekick contains the sort of water you'd find in the Gowanus Canal, and that none of the lifeforms he is likely to extricate from this goop is likely to sufficiently un-fuck him to the extent that "winning" a news cycle in July -- or whenever -- will do him much good in November.

My bet is Obama wins by 4-6, and the media line is that he barely squeaked out a victory. Also, by next summer the Sunday gasbags will be solemnly discussing the early warning signs of how our first black president is doomed to impeachment and how very sad that is for us as a nation.

UPDATE. K-Lo confirms the stupid, because that's her job as well as her hobby.

The Veep-Now Speculation   [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

It would be the final media turn-off to McCain if he rained on the week of Obama.

Right, because the media doesn't love them some McCain and wouldn't go all gushy over a transparent mediaphiliac stunt.

Greater Wingnuttia desperately needs the doxology of Liberal Media Bias because without it they would be forced to contemplate the dark backward and abysm of how much they suck.

Comments

[Trevor J]

"none of the lifeforms he is likely to extricate from this goop is likely to sufficiently un-fuck him"

I've been thinking this too, running names in my head. His pick is McCain's one silver bullet. But who would even create a veepgasm in the press?

The only name that would come close would be Lieberman and, as you said, fawning praise in July ain't exciting in November.

[actor212]

I'm confused.

When McCain was outcast, the right wing painted him as the media darling, the funny, quick-witted, sharp-tongued maverick who could manipulate Jon Stewart's audience into howls of laughter and thunderous applause.

Now they're saying that the media would be pissed at him for raining on Obama's parade?

IF McCain names a VP choice and IF that VP choice is a solid one, I give this week to McCain with a solid 8-2 (unless Obama can land a standing 8 count with yet another Iraq story, say, finding Osama bin Laden).

My pick for McCain's VP: Connecticut Governor Jody Rell. It puts the entire northeast in play, gives McCain cover with moderates while allowing him to run to the right still, and nullifies a lot of the Obama "change" claim.

Plus, it's going to appeal to an awful lot of PUMAs who really are pissed at the way Hillary has been treated not only in the MSM but on blogs and in the Net.

[Bitter Scribe]

This reminds me of 1976, when Ronald Reagan was trying to wrest the GOP nomination from Gerald Ford. In a last, desperate effort to prod Ford into a mistake during the GOP convention, Reagan designated some doofus whose name I don't feel like looking up to be his VP if he won the nomination, then introduced a floor resolution to force Ford to do the same. (The incumbent VP was Nelson Rockefeller, who was not interested in keeping the job.)

The Ford forces were strong enough to stuff the resolution, to the howling dismay of the Reagan delegates.

Relying on your VP nominee to win you the election is like relying on your punter to win a football game. It hardly ever happens.

[actor212]

Dick Schweiker, BS.

Damn, I hate this garbage dump of a memory....

[Jay_B]

My pick for McCain's VP: Connecticut Governor Jody Rell. It puts the entire northeast in play,

No it doesn't. Not only won't it matter to practically anybody, it'll cripple what's left of the Connecticut Republican Party. Without Rell, Democrats will take over the entire state government.

gives McCain cover with moderates while allowing him to run to the right still, and nullifies a lot of the Obama "change" claim.

Why? VP nominee < by 1,000 percent historic Presidential nominee. Ask Walter Mondale how his choice turned the tide against Reagan.

Plus, it's going to appeal to an awful lot of PUMAs

At least 20 of them. Maybe all 30.

who really are pissed at the way Hillary has been treated not only in the MSM but on blogs and in the Net.

Whiniest people EVAH. Hilary doesn't even care, but the cult carries on.

[actor212]

JayB,

McCain isn't running twenty points behind Reagan.

[actor212]

Someone close Jay B's tag since he couldn't be bothered, please?

[Jemand von Niemand]

Actually, the notion of McCain running twenty points behind a dead guy does possess some humor value.

[skippy]

sorry, kids, but novakula is admitting he was duped into spreading that rumor.

personally, i hope mclame picks lieberman as his veep.

[mac]

My guess is the speculation that McCain will announce his choice for VP this week IS the lame attempt to put Obama out of the media spotlight.