You Dicked My Life!

New Game.

Three bands who, all things considered, the world would be better off had they never existed. That is, their net effect is ultimately pernicious, in their own works and in their influences and influenzas.

Mine:

1. U2
2. Depeche Mode
3. Andrew Lloyd Weber

For #3 I was going to go with Malmsteen, until I fell in love with his website. A man who flosses with his guitar -- you have to give him points for good dental hygeine. That's awesome.

Pearl Jam would also be acceptable, except Eddie Vedder still dresses better than I do, sad to say. As does Henry Rollins, for that matter.

And I know that "Andrew Llloyd Weber" is not a "band." However, neither that nor his innovative charcoal grill design suffices to save him from my disdain.

I don't like The Grateful Dead much either, but in their defense, well, they don't have one.

I'd also add Les Claypool, a man who found it necessary to go out and discover entirely new ways of being annoying with a bass guitar, a field where you'd think no further research were fucking required. Oy.

Comments

[aw]

Nine Inch Nails.

Nirvana.

[anthony]

The Beatles
The Eagles
Suzanne Vega (or Carol King for that matter)

[theperilouspea]

Can Pat Boone make honorable mention ?

[theperilouspea]

Mozart
Beethoven
Handel

[Fritz]

Stupid game.

[kiwi expat]

That's it. You've dissed the Dead (about whom nothing should be said unless it is good). I've had it with you, Thers

[low-tech cyclist]

I agree with Webber (even JC Superstar doesn't compensate for the flood of trash bearing his name since then) and Depeche Mode.

But what do you have against U2, Thers? Sure, they're overplayed on the radio, but so are the Rolling Stones, who've been phoning it in for decades, and (crime of crimes) have somehow convinced the world of 'classic rock' that their cover of "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" is the authoritative version of the song, virtually obliterating the Temptations' far superior original from the airwaves.

Having said all that, I'll go ahead and make the Rolling Stones my pick. Their early brilliance has long been buried under decades of crap.

[coozledad]

I'll have to go with Billy Joel, Peter Frampton, and uh... Jo-Jo Ex-Mariner.

[Spokane Moderate]

I'm glad you left Pearl Jam off your list. Otherwise, I would have been forced to vote for John McCain.

[Ripley]

Dave Matthews Band
Train
The Blues Brothers

Any criticisms of my list will be met with derision, and possibly a sneer. Yes, a sneer.

[Molly Ivors]

I would add Jackson Browne (also not a band, I know), James Taylor (though he was my first concert), and, oh ,let's say Phish.

[brad]

stone temple pilots
the strokes
coldplay

[brad]

And I like claypool, in the right context, in small doses. CCBBB was really good before they cut an album.

[chiggins]

Three bands the world would be better off without, for their incredible quality and quantity of suckacity.

1. Your favorite band
2. Your next favorite band
3. Your next favorite band after that, especially that embarrassingly shitty cover they did of that one classic. What the fuck were they thinking?

It's not your fault for liking any of these bands, it was probably your upbringing, or maybe it's genetics. Aw hell, who'm I kidding, it is your fault.

[Ripley]

Can I add Damn Yankees as a runner up? They made the world a poorer place.

[NatTurner]

Billy Joel
Dave Matthews Band
Madonna

[Me]

Why don't you start a Picard vs. Kirk argument instead? Sheesh, the first two posts in this thread contain my two favorite artists, but I won't tell you who they are because I don't feel like being humiliated any further.

[DeepKarma]

Add The Police to the list...totally unlistenable after all these years.

[chiggins]

Also:

For #3 I was going to go with Malmsteen, until I fell in love with his website. A man who flosses with his guitar -- you have to give him points for good dental hygeine. That's awesome.

Admit it. You don't care about his hygiene. You're just terrified that you might unleash the fuckin' fury.

[Amlodhi]

-James Taylor
-Billy Joel
-Johnny Cougar Mellencamp

[Allan]

Dave Matthews (naming just him in anticipation of any solo work that he may pursue in the future--- his band goes without saying)

Jimmy Buffet

Coldplay

[lawsipanther]

I'm gonna go with
a) Pearl Jam
b) Pearl Jam
and c) Pearl Jam

because all the other bands I'd add are already in this list.

[bob]

Every band that came out after 1972 except Dire Straits.

[Buckeye, Dealer of Rare Coins]

Nickelback

50 Cent

Whitney Houston

(no, not all of these choices are groups. So?)

[Tom Hilton]

d'Fuh? How is it possible that we're at 23 responses and nobody has mentioned Journey? Please correct this by adding Journey as a fourth band to all previous responses.

My 3:
1. Journey
2. Journey
3. Prussian Blue

bonus #4: Journey

[Richterscale]

Cake
Eric Clapton (over rated, not God)
Genesis (after Peter Gabriel left)

[Daphne Chyprious]

1) Creedence Clearwater Revival

2) Steve Miller

3) Paul Revere and the Raiders

PS IMO, Billy Joel is a composing genius (as is Barry Manilow, which is not to say I enjoy his music) and Journey's frontman has the purest voice in rock.

[Tyro]

The question is, who has had a pernicious influence on our musical culture?

U2 has been harmless. Their fans are benign, and the worst musical act they inspired was Live.

Pearl Jam, however, inspired both the bands Bush and Creed, and was at the forefront of the whiner rock that made so much of the early to mid 90s musically intolerable. Their fans were the proto-emo-kids of their day.

[aw]

Sheesh, the first two posts in this thread contain my two favorite artists, but I won't tell you who they are because I don't feel like being humiliated any further.

This sort of thing is about as subjective as subjective gets. Trust me.

[SamFromUtah]

This sort of thing is about as subjective as subjective gets. Trust me.

Too true, but it's kind of fun when these things turn into a Boomer-vs.-everybody-else brawl.

Agewise, I'm solid Gen X, but I opt out of these arguments because I don't listen to music. Except for Dethklok.

[digitusmedius]

My list:

1. Tom Waits
2. Tom Waits
3. Tom Waits

[Robbie Taylor]

Any band formed after 1974, when rock achieved perfection. It's a scientific fact.

[Shell Goddamnit]

Pretty much all my faves appear here, w/exception of Neil Young and Brian Eno. Does no one hate these people? That in itself is damning, I think.

My list:

The Eagles/Steve Miller/ackson Browne axis. Quintessential lite rock, leading to - ah, fuck it, list is too long.

Grateful Dead. Although I like about six things they've done they are the patron saints of all the pestilential goddamn guitar noodlers in the world, and there are a fuck of a lot of them. One of them appeared with GEORGE FUCKING CLINTON last time I saw him, ruining my night - except for those wondrous fun-making opps. Hendrix & Santana bear some responsibility but can't appear on this list for obvious reasons.

ourney. I do not need to say more, except that my ay key no longer works, sorry.

This was fun! What other horrific games do you have planned? I will set aside some time I'd otherwise spend poking my eyes out.

[Ken C.]

The following are obvious and irrefutable.

1. Bob Dylan
2. The Grateful Dead
3. The Smiths

[Bloix]

See, for this game it's not enough to list bands that you don't like. No makes you listen to bands that you don't like. The idea is that the band has had a bad influence either on music or on the culture. I think ALW fits the bill by his corrupting influence on the stage musical. The Dead, I don't really understand - they spawned a subgenre which you can take or leave alone, but they didn't divert the development of anything that was moving in a good direction.

If I wee going to make a list, which I'm not, number one would be Kenny G, for spreading the kudzu of smooth jazz and crowding out the real thing.

[jblue]

1.The Eagles (play it again boys)
2.AC/DC
3.Rod Stewart
(No one has fallen so far as 60s Rod to 80s Rod)
The Beatles? Oh, please, you know so much and the rest of the world is just stoned on crack? Get a grip! Puff it up, you huffers!
4.Journey

[Bob]

1. The Sex Pistols - DIY is soooooo over rated
2. U2 - the braying sunglass model is NOT going to save the world
3. Anyone who slags the Grateful Dead. Not because they're good but because slagging them is the equivelent of saying you don't like brussels sprouts. We know, they play endless noodling jams and every band that followed them is comprised of wankers. We know. WE KNOW. You can all stop saying it.

[duquesne_pdx]

/delurk

I'm kind of surprised that no one has mentioned...

1)Smashing Pumpkins

...the ultimate in whining, unlistenable, wretched, gen-X pandering crap.

2)Coldplay

(comes in a close second)

3)Any band with Slash as a guitarist. Say what you want about Clapton being overrated, Slash is even more overrated...

/relurk

[Shell Goddamnit]

But I *like* brussels sprouts. Still, they have a bad influence on the brassica genes, intensifying the cold-requirements to something that will no longer grow south of James Bay...