William Donohue, head cheese of the Catholic League, is trying to get P. Z. Myers fired, because professor Myers called the Eucharist a "cracker." The indictment may be read here. I quote it in full solely in order to violate their copyright.
Paul Zachary Myers, a professor at the University of Minnesota Morris, has pledged to desecrate the Eucharist. He is responding to what happened recently at the University of Central Florida when a student walked out of Mass with the Host, holding it hostage for several days. Myers was angry at the Catholic League for criticizing the student. His post can be accessed from his faculty page on the university’s website.
Here is an excerpt of his July 8 post, “It’s a Frackin’ Cracker!”:
“Can anyone out there score me some consecrated communion wafers?” Myers continued by saying, “if any of you would be willing to do what it takes to get me some, or even one, and mail it to me, I’ll show you sacrilege, gladly, and with much fanfare. I won’t be tempted to hold it hostage (no, not even if I have a choice between returning the Eucharist and watching Bill Donohue kick the pope in the balls, which would apparently be a more humane act than desecrating a goddamned cracker), but will instead treat it with profound disrespect and heinous cracker abuse, all photographed and presented here on the web.”
Catholic League president Bill Donohue responded as follows:
“The Myers blog can be accessed from the university’s website. The university has a policy statement on this issue which says that the ‘Contents of all electronic pages must be consistent with University of Minnesota policies, local, state and federal laws.’ One of the school’s policies, ‘Code of Conduct,’ says that ‘When dealing with others,’ faculty et al. must be ‘respectful, fair and civil.’ Accordingly, we are contacting the President and the Board of Regents to see what they are going to do about this matter. Because the university is a state institution, we are also contacting the Minnesota legislature.
“It is hard to think of anything more vile than to intentionally desecrate the Body of Christ. We look to those who have oversight responsibility to act quickly and decisively.”
To be clear, Myers' post was not hosted on his institution's servers; the "but you can link to it!" stuff is specious and laughable. The reason this is included is to provide cover for the argument that PZ ought to be fired.
He should not be, of course. This is not even arguable; he expressed his opinion in a public forum, period.
As a genetic Catholic myself, I will concede that Myers is a piker when it comes to blasphemy, however. I was making Holy Frisbee jokes when I was 15. Clearly Myers lacks the full benefits of a Jesuit education.
More on this tomorrow. Much more.
Bloody hell, if it really isn't just a cracker, then Christians engage in ritual cannibalism. They can't have it both ways.
Posted by: rea | July 11, 2008 at 06:34 AM
If being an asshole were a firing offense, William Donohue would not have a job from which to call for PZ Myers' firing in the first place.
Posted by: Tyro | July 11, 2008 at 08:31 AM
William Donohue ?
Catholic ?
Predator ?
Mineral , element ?
Papal acid ?
Posted by: theperilouspea | July 11, 2008 at 09:11 AM
It is, in fact, a not very good cracker. Desecration may be an act of mercy.
Posted by: DrDick | July 11, 2008 at 09:12 AM
A few years back, Bill Donohue and I were in a limo and we were smoking crack and he gave me the oral sex. Really!
For $5,000 (plus expenses), I'll speak at your organization's event (autographs can be had for $25).
Posted by: Ripley | July 11, 2008 at 11:49 AM
"Needs salt"
No, no, no, Father. Put that thing away!
Posted by: Snarki, child of Loki | July 11, 2008 at 12:03 PM
We suggest that a simple DNA test on the Eucharist/cracker would settle this once and for all. Human? Eucharist! Wheat? Cracker!
Simple as that.
Posted by: The Politzanian Citizenry | July 11, 2008 at 12:55 PM
My God...[burp].
This seriously is the most deranged thing I've ever heard of -- and I was born Catholic and still consider myself "ethnically Catholic".
Most understand the necessary symbolism of transubstantiation. Some of us, even longtime Church haters, find such symbolic acts to have a certain amount of grace to them.
No one -- not even my most devout grandparents, great aunts and father -- thinks of these things in LITERAL terms. I'm sure I have my theology wrong here and that the Official Church finds wine and the worst wafers ever concocted by G-D to be sacrosanct and literally Christoriffic after a priest waves his hands over them, but it astonishes me that people think this too.
So, for the record, I've spit out the body of Christ on numerous occasions -- sometimes even outside on the sidewalk.
Also: I've picked Christ out of my teeth.
And: Slumming Episcopalian Sally Quinn, under Donahue's "logic", should be Crucified.
Posted by: Jay_B | July 11, 2008 at 01:44 PM
Slumming Episcopalian Sally Quinn, under Donahue's "logic", should be Crucified.
That might not be such a bad idea actually.
Posted by: DrDick | July 11, 2008 at 02:05 PM
DrDick and I think alike. My first thought was, "No, Prof. Myers, crackers are crispy and tasty, so you're wrong there."
I think Myers is a dick, and I would not send him a consecrated wafer, because I take that shit seriously.
But Donohue's downright vile. Not to mention disingenuous.
And what the fuck is wrong with the staff of the campus ministry? They could have treated this as a teachable moment for the kid instead of going Torquemada on his ass. Way to shepherd the flock, Padre.
And Quinn's not a slumming Episcopaian (who by the way, believe in the Real Presence themselves), but an atheist, which makes her receiving all the more rude. Plus, she broadcast to all and sundry that it was just peachy keen, since Saint Timmeh would have wanted it that way. (He probably wouldn't have approved if he was indeed as devout as he was said to be.)
However, I didn't hear a peep from Donohue about her.
Posted by: hamletta | July 11, 2008 at 02:59 PM
Jay b, thank you. I was thinking the same thing. But I think the only reason donohue hasn't gone after her is, what's the point?
aimai
Posted by: aimai | July 11, 2008 at 02:59 PM
William Donohue, head cheese of the Catholic League, is trying to get P. Z. Myers fired, because professor Myers called the Eucharist a "cracker."
It is a cracker. It's not really the body of Christ. If it were the actual body of Christ, I believe it would be a sin because you aren't supposed to eat human flesh. I could be wrong.
Posted by: Monica_A: Dammit | July 11, 2008 at 03:27 PM
...if it really isn't just a cracker, then Christians engage in ritual cannibalism.
... If it were the actual body of Christ, I believe it would be a sin because you aren't supposed to eat human flesh.
¡Chunks of Bloody Jesus, everywhere!
Posted by: ¡El Gato Negro! | July 11, 2008 at 03:51 PM
A somewhat humorous anecdote:
An amigo of mine, long ago, while in college, was attending a Catholic wedding, and had been deputed to take charge of his new cousin-in-law for the whole day of the blessed event.
Being a good catholic himself, my amigo had taken pains to prepare for a long service, and had stopped on the way to the church in order to fortify himself and his younger charge with a few pints.
The wedding ceremony included the ritual of holy communion, which my amigo's new relative had never before seen, having been brought up under Unitarianism, or one of those benighted half-religions, and so he asked for clarification of the meaning behind the rite.
Upon having the tradition explained to him, and being asked if he understood, the young man piped up with: "Yeah, chunks of bloody Jesus, everywhere!".
Es la verdad.
Posted by: ¡El Gato Negro! | July 11, 2008 at 04:38 PM
It is hard to think of anything more vile than to intentionally desecrate the Body of Christ
Funny, I can think of a couple of things more vile than that. Catholic priests diddling young boys, for one.
Posted by: commie atheist | July 11, 2008 at 06:01 PM
I've always thought of myself as an ethnic Catholic.
I much prefer genetic Catholic.
I think I'll steal that if you don't mind.
As for Donahue....wonder how many young boys he's groped today?
Posted by: flory | July 11, 2008 at 06:12 PM
It is hard to think of anything more vile than to intentionally desecrate the Body of Christ
It took me a while for this one to sink in. It's the bedrock iconography of the entire fucking Church! Holy shit. Without the desecration of the Body of Christ, its safe to say the Church wouldn't exist.
As it is, they worship the desecration (unless I'm mistaken and The Cross isn't the symbol of their religion, holy shit, they fetishize his suffering, sprout stigmata and make blood-porn movies about it. Not to mention, in olden days, they would emulate it in various ways to show their empathy for His suffering and embrace the cleansing sense of pain in the matter.
Are they now saying that the Crown of Thorns is a vile thing? Or that the crucifixion was wrong?
IF that's the case, then what the fuck am I supposed to have felt guilty about again? It was the Romans fault, not mine.
Posted by: Jay_B | July 11, 2008 at 06:37 PM
Donohue's a professional shit-disturber who gets off on sending his flying monkeys on harassment missions.
Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a culture where more people would actually stand up and say that instead of bleating about how everyone has to respect everyone's beliefs (as long as we're not the ones sending other people death threats, that is)?
Posted by: Interrobang | July 11, 2008 at 07:34 PM
FATHER TED (Offering Host): Body Of Christ.
ME: Christ? Jesus, there's not even any Cheese-Whiz.
FATHER TED: Ha ha ha; that's another twenty years in Purgatory for you, dumbass. Drinks are on the right -- no, no; your other right...
Posted by: Jemand von Niemand | July 11, 2008 at 08:52 PM
"Body of Christ"
"Amen"
"Body of Christ"
"Amen"
"Body of Christ"
"Tastes like chicken!"
Now that's how to get thrown out of a mass.
Posted by: chiggins | July 15, 2008 at 12:09 AM