Their Infant Eyes

WAITING FOR BREAKFAST.

A Tragioscreeenplay.

by Thers

Estragon: Judd Nelson

Vladimir: Emelio Estevez

Lucky: Molly Ringwald

Pozzo: Anthony Michael Hall

a boy: some creepy chick

ACT 1

Shermer, Illinois. A high school library.

Breakfast.

ESTRAGON, sitting on a wooden chair, is trying to get out of detention. He pulls at boot desperately and hums Cream songs.

ESTRAGON: Nothing to be done. What are we supposed to do if we have to take a piss.

VLADIMIR: I'm beginning to come round to that opinion. All my life I've tried to put it from me, saying Vladimir, be reasonable, you haven't yet tried everything. And I resumed the struggle. So. Are you guys like boyfriend/girlfriend?

ESTRAGON:You'd be nothing more than a little heap of bones at the present minute, no doubt about it. You're not urinating in here, man!

VLADIMIR: Hand in hand from the top of the Eiffel Tower, among the first. We were respectable in those days. Now it's too late. Did you slip her the hot beef injection?

ESTRAGON: Never neglect the little things of life. Go to hell! Enough!

VLADIMIR: You might not even exist at this school. There's man all over for you, blaming on his boots the faults of his feet. I'm in the Math club, the Latin club, and the Physics club.

ESTRAGON: And we have a big banquet at the Hilton!  I remember the maps of the Holy Land. Coloured they were. Very pretty. The Dead Sea was pale blue. The very look of it made me thirsty.

VLADIMIR: Does Barry Manilow know you raided his closet?

ESTRAGON: Shall we go?

VLADIMIR: Well, you load up, you party. We wouldn't have to go into the details. We don't get high.

ESTRAGON: Well, you wouldn't know a thing about it, faggot. You should have been a poet.

VLADIMIR: I wanna be just like you. I figure I just need a lobotomy and some tights.

ESTRAGON: I sometimes wonder if we wouldn't have been better off alone, each one for himself.

...

I expected a little more from a Nobel Laureate, but as it turns out the screenplay of The Breakfast Club and the script of Waiting for Godot have an eerie symmetry. Here's a game: take one randomly selected line from The Breakfast Club and then join it to a randomly selected line from Waiting for Godot. Or vice versa. It's always great. The meaning of this phenomenon eludes me, but it is genuine and exhilarating. Go fix me a turkey pot pie, and then it's light once more! 

You do realize that both productions feature a stylized tree, don't you? Boo-haa-haa.

Also, the first chart in the Wikipedia entry for The Breakfast Club is just fantastic.

Comments

[steve duncan]

This is great stuff, too:

http://www.losanjealous.com/nfc/

[Jay C.]

"Oh, it was another banner fucking year at the old Estragon family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, 'We are all born mad. Some remain so.'"

[Jemand von Niemand]

Samuel Beckett didn't write the screenplay for 'Breakfast Club'??

I thought he won an Oscar for that -- "Best Original Adolescent Existential Crisis Screenplay".

[theperilouspea]

Beckett was a champion Cricket player first and foremost . The other things were just waiting for the the dough .

[Batocchio]

Wild!

[calling all toasters]

You may find the utterances of George W. Bush work well mixed into The Bald Soprano.

Or not.

[low-tech cyclist]

Cool stuff!

For Molly, more Olbermann misogyny.

[Henry Holland]

Why oh why, Simple Minds, did you do *that* song, even though you said at the time you knew it was crap? Were you so desperate to be as successful as *shudder* U2 *shudder* that it blinded to you the pitfalls? It ruined your career and you didn't even write it, so you didn't even have the benefit of royalties from it.

WHY? [shakes fist at God]

[Michael Crichton]

I think you have the "Vladimir" and "Estragon" roles mixed up. Emilio Estevez played the Jock, Judd Nelson played the Burnout.

[Halloween Jack]

I liked the Breakfast Club when it came out, because/in spite of its complete lack of concordance with my own high school experience, but the only way that I could watch it now is if Judd Nelson was digitally replace with... well, just about anyone. William Shatner, Joan Rivers, I'm not picky.