Good Luck, Sailor

The following is a Day By Day cartoon by Chris Muir. It is real. He seems to be saying that now that Cap'n Ed has been voluntarily committed into the Hot Air asylum, women will sprout penises. These female penises will be known as "little captains."

That's really, really... frickin' weird.

Cap'n Ed's post is about how Barack Obama owes everything to million dollar bribes from Saddam Hussein, which sounds about right as far as Hot Air-standard material goes. So, you know, bon voyage & all that.

Comments

[myiq2xu]

Could that be Ed's #1 pick-up line?

"Hey baby! Wanna little Captain in you?"

[LA Confidential Pantload]

Fuck me on toast. If Captain Ed reminded me of any other captain, it sure as shit wouldn't be Captain Morgan. Captain Kangaroo or Cap'n Crunch, maybe.

[Nim, ham hock of liberty]

I think we figured it out at S,N!

The woman's body becomes a little bit possessed and she jumps out of the couch to assume what would be the Captain Morgan pose, if you were too useless to google it before drawing it.

The "sproing" is a tone-deaf red herring. That's just the sound of her involuntarily springing (get it?!) from the couch.

[Jay B.]

Is the chair alive? If not, why does it twitch? Why does her ass taper to a point? What does godawful rum have to do with the superawesome news that another hack has joined MM's flying monkey brigades?

I'll do one without pictures (which evidently exist separately from 'the plot' anyway).

Durrrr.
?
Is that the latest fashion?
For Hillary!
BAM.

[dave™©]

Good Lord, I have absolutely no idea what this moron is trying to say or show.

A failure on every fucking level. As a "cartoonist," he should be fucking ashamed of himself.

[Morty]

I actually (god help me) read the post. His argument goes Sadaam>??>Bad guy>??>Bad guy who knows Obama>???>Obama.

It's funny to me the "dirt" that has been dug on Obama: each piece is as laughable as the next. Especially when compared to McCain and Clinton. But who knows, maybe something will stick eventually - odds are in in favor, no?

[Greg Hanigan]

I think what the cartoonist is doing is ripping off the Cpt. Morgan's ad, in order to announce the moving of "captian" Ed to Malkin's site.

Not that it makes it any less stupid, or this comic to be any less lame.

[R. Crumb]

How dare you besmirch Kaptain Kangaroo.

Captain Pissgums is more like it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S._Clay_Wilson

[Helena Handbasket]

this has to be one of the lamest ass cartoon strips I've ever seen. thank god someone has taken the time to explain, because, you know, cartoons are so deep. I will now go and bang my head against a wall. how could I not have figured this out myself.

[GWPDA]

I think u need to consult with TBogg about this. Or Satchmo & Beckham - whoever are available. Possibly the L&T Casey.

[moerex]

You know, if the conservative side ever managed to come up with a daily strip that was well drawn, intelligently written, and funny, I might read it despite my leftwards political leanings. "Day By Day," unfortunately, is about as good as it's ever gotten. I'd love to know how many of its readers really just stick around for the cloying level of T&A in the strip--the crutch Muir leans on when he can't come up with anything meaningful to say.

[Peter Principle]

"Cap'n Ed's post is about how Barack Obama owes everything to million dollar bribes from Saddam Hussein"

Well, now I guess Howie Kurtz knows what to lead his next column with.

[Bitter Scribe]

Muir has now crossed into the territory once occupied by Ernie Bushmiller of "Nancy" (the old one, not the current abomination): His strip is so consistently awful---so utterly lacking in any vestige of coherence---that it achieves a kind of surreality. It's a right-wing "Zippy the Pinhead."

[Pere Ubu]

God help me, it's in English, and all the sentences are intelligible, but fuck me if I can figure out what the hell it's SAYING.

Wingnut blogs make half-naked Republican women with hip dysplasia spontaneously jump off of couches, maybe?

And how DO you pronounce "@", anyway? Is that part of the magic?

[isaac]

wait, maybe the springs in her chair broke, because the cap'n has that effect on springs or something

[rebmarks]

There's an ad on TV for Captain Morgan rum. In the ad, people inexplicably assume the "Captain Morgan" position by putting their foot up as if it were resting on something, and putting their hands on their waists. This is apparently what happens when you feel like drinking Captain Morgan rum, or after you've drunk Captain Morgan rum, or something like that. The tag line is somthing like: "There's a little Captain in all of us." So Muir is using this as a play on Captain Ed's name. But what the f*ck they have to do with each other, other than Ed being a fake "Captain" beats me. So he ends up with a highly confusing stupid and slightly porno-seeming strip. I mean really, doesn't he remember "Shwing!"?

[iamwil]

Smile;
Keep smiling while making no furtive movements;
Now, start slowly moving away backwardly;
Keep moving.

[Redshift]

The only possible interpretation that could come close to making all of this fit together is that Cap'n Ed is sneaking around stalker-style behind her chair, but can't avoid, er, twitching when he gets that close the ubiquitous half-naked deformed Muir chick. Ick.

[OTB]

I think she grew a penis out of her butt, best I can figger. Fully consistent with Muir's command of anatomy.

[bdub]

Hey LA Confidential Pantload:

Don't disrespect Cap'n Crunch. I love that stuff. In fact, I love it so much, it makes my weiner go "sproing!"

Worst.comic.strip.ever.

[rea]

What on earth is supposed to be happening to that poor woman? I understand the reference to the liquor ad, but what's going "twitch" and "sprong"? My initial impression was that she was being sexually assaulted by a nanocaptain ("I guess there's a little captain in all of us"), but surely that's not correct?

[notway]

Muir is so weird that he posted encouraging comments on the blog of the guy who was convicted of trying to kill Clinton and who might have staged a suicide hoax.

http://ronbosoldier.blogspot.com/2007/12/sergeant-ronbo-going-on-patrol.html

[the Rev Jerry Gloryhole]

Everyone knows that female penises are called "Little Reverends in a Boat". So it can't be that.
Maybe it's to suggest that women put down their books and just listen to their men-folk, as the Bible commands.

Or maybe wingnuttia is flailing too hard.

[jerry]

I understood "sproing" as a reference to having a boner. Like schwing.

The "little captain" reference, is I think, an homage to "the little soldier" of Jesus' General.

[aldorossi]

For all of the attempts at deconstructing the meaning of this strip, in the end it is just really stupid. Just another excuse to draw a deformed half-naked chick.

I've always thought that the often repeated 'Conservatives don't have a sense of humor' thing was just a cliche, but this guy is making me rethink the whole idea.

(But, golly, you can get free DBD Books! YAY! I'm sure a lot of people would be willing to pay for them...)

[Frederick]

Ah, I hate to defend this guy, but has no one here ever seen a Captain Morgan's commercial?

[ottnott]

The explanation is simple. The key is to remember that Captain Ed will now be adding to the stench of Hot Air.

Panel 1
The twitch is how a really crappy cartoonist signals that intestinal gas is making its way to the exit.

Panel 2
The sproing is how a really crappy cartoonist that has never made a woman comfortable enough around him to pass gas in his presence supposes a woman must sound when she passes gas. Note the blurry shimmer on the woman's backside, indicating both heat and odor.

Panel 3
Aware of both what she has just done and of Captain Ed's move to Hot Air, the woman plays on the parallels between intestinal gas and the Malkin site.

[rea]

has no one here ever seen a Captain Morgan's commercial?

I watched that video twice, and as far as I could tell, nothing went "sprong."

[LittlePig]

has no one here ever seen a Captain Morgan's commercial?

I believe most everyone got that part. That's not the breakdown. The breakdown is degree of mish-mash Muir is going to here.

The mutant-hipped brunette is suddenly possessed of the need to do the Captain Morgan rum thing - we get that. But as rea noted, there is no sudden "SPROING!" in those ads. But Cap'n Ed is neither captain (except in the Walter Mitty sense) nor rum, nor is he in said mutant-hipped brunette.

It's said of a bad joke here in the South "That's a long way to carry water", meaning the joke elements are too disjoint for good humor. Muir has now set an Olympic water-totin' record.

[mark]

I went further than Morty, and actually read some of the comments to Special Ed's post. Oh. My. Goodness.

I now have to go scrape the stupid off my shoes.

[Pope Ratzo]

It's a shame all around.

If you think this guys comic strips are awful, you should check out one of "Captian" Ed's blog posts. Another pretend military wingnut, like the Ace of Base or whatever his name is.

[r€nato]

I thought comic strips were supposed to be, you know, humorous.

[r€nato]

thank goodness Muir put that copyright notice on the strip. Had he not, I'm sure everyone would have plagiarized it, illegally copied and distributed it without express written consent, and otherwise violated his IP rights.

[Thers]

On the Cap'n Morgan thing: that's the most tragic part of this sorry affair. He gets the pose completely wrong. Here.

So my interpretation remains defensible, if frightening.

[LA Confidential Pantload]

Why is there a talking elbow in the last panel?

[Thers]

thank goodness Muir put that copyright notice on the strip. Had he not, I'm sure everyone would have plagiarized it, illegally copied and distributed it without express written consent, and otherwise violated his IP rights.

I thought about that for a small portion of a second, and then decided that to be sued by Chris Muir for the theft of "intellectual property" in regards to this particular strip would be ver, very funny.

[Thers]

Why is there a talking elbow in the last panel?

Also, the chair has mysteriously vanished.

[MNPundit]

Uh, Captain Morgan.

Man I love Muir's art style but the writing is just... God.

[Ed Sanders]

Jeebus, how do these people continue to function?

I swear I don't their connection to reality is strong enough to allow them to purchase a cup of coffee, let alone hold a job.

[Ed Sanders]

BTW, Captain Ed is a black mark on Eds everywhere.

[r€nato]

I saw a pic of Capt. Ed over at S,N!

Ye gods, he looks like the very epitome of a fat, Cheetos-chomping loser living in mom's basement. Is he another one of those tough-talking warbloggers who are severely overcompensating for the fact that they couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper sack if their lives depended on it?

[Element 5]

I came to the conclusion a while back that his female character is the vehicle for his subconscious mind's expression of his homosexual desires. I'm guessing that he's got a thing for this "Captain" chap (he also seems to have concerns about sexual inadequacy, from the looks of it).

[LL]

Morrissey is a pathetic dildo who couldn't have an actual useful observation if his life depended on it.

meh

[jimmmm]

"Sproing," dum-dums, is the sound flowers used to make in the comic strip, "B.C.," which, of course, was the Ur-wingnut comic strip whence came all empty moralizing.

Muir isn't above stealing outright. Where he's erratic is in his sources of "inspiration." Usually he aspires to be a much less funny, far less well-drawn "Doonesbury." Other times, however, the 40-something multiple DUI-earning no-talent can't help but let his "Funky Winkerbean" freak-flag fly.

But for his constant and sophomoric skewering of "libruls," I sentence Muir to my standard punishment: Rape by trained animals. But only if he promises not to enjoy it.

[LA Confidential Pantload]

I think DUI-guy is the "Mallard Fillmore" dude, not Muir. Meme chose.

[Voice of Reason]

It's a right-wing "Zippy the Pinhead."

This guy wakes up beating his 1 inch Li'l Captain wishing he had 1/1000th the talent of Griffin. Get real.

[bob]

Cap'n Pissgums is right. Ed would look good as the protagonist in "Tween Deck Tales". For those S. Clay Wilson fans out there, you KNOW what I mean.

[sophronia]

His drawings used to be bad, but with a certain style and flair, at least. Now they're just beyond amateurish and crappy. Is his heart no longer in it or something?

[anon]

...wishing he had 1/1000th the talent of Griffin...

No kidding. Please quit insulting Griffin. Self consciousness is what makes us, doh, human. Griffin's got it. This guy doesn't. Even Zippy--the drain bamaged non-human character Zippy--makes funnies with zing.

Also, ya know, I think I saw one or two of this guy's strips along the way and I would _never_ have looked twice without you guys poking him with a stick. I have to wonder if _most_ of his traffic is lefties rubbernecking. Just saying.

[Northern Observer]

Zippy rules.
He's friggen wiser than your average conservative.