by Molly Ivors
Apologies to anyone who didn't click through and see that my Heath Ledger snark was really an attempt to discredit a dumbass redneck who claims to have given Senator Obama oral sex. No abuse of the late Mr. Ledger was intended, just that he was (a) far too beautiful and cool to be seen with a person like me, and (b) presumably unable to confirm or deny the story.
I wish I could say the same of Fox News Professional Dickhead John Gibson, who used the occasion of Ledger's death to work out his own comedy stylings, which are clearly based on scribbled notes retrieved from his seventh-grade gym locker--with all the stench that forty years of close contact with a soiled jockstrap can provide.
Blaming Ledger's death on his being a "weirdo" who "thinks about death," the stock market, and supporting John Edwards, Gibson makes multiple Brokeback Mountain jokes and sneers at the concern of his obligatory girl companion: "All you Brokeback Mountain fans, you wanna give Christine a call, she'll be happy to talk to you." Gibson is such a fucking tool that he must have "Makita" tattooed on his ass.
"Blinding you with his razor-sharp acumen"? Uh, yeah. I don't think designating him the Worst Person in the World is even scratching the surface, frankly.
And of course, the honorable souls of the Westboro Baptist Church are involved as well, because Ledger made that movie about Teh Gaii, so he clearly hated God. Or something.
What the fuck is wrong with these people?
