Only a Taste

Over at Sadly No there's been lots of amusement at Jonah Goldberg's book, Liberal Fascism: Please, Please Take This Comical Mess Seriously, Wah. But I would like to remind my fellow left-bloggers that while it is certainly legitimate to criticize, mock, or even chuckle merrily at Goldberg's work, it would be unjust--even intellectually irresponsible--to forget for a single moment that a lot of the funniest shit is going to be written not by Goldberg himself but by his wingnut defenders.

Why, hello there, Jimmie from the Sundries Shack. Looks like one of your commenters mentioned that the following sentence from the book is pretty stupid: "The quintessential liberal fascist isn’t an SS storm trooper; it is a female grade-school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore."

And you replied:

Consider that a teacher, over the course of her career, can indoctrinate thousands of yong minds. An SS Stormtrooper influenced far fewer minds.

That. Is. The. Shit. I mean, that's the good stuff, batshit internetty wingnut lunacy, undiluted, straight from the still. 

Greatest Christmas present ever.   

(The other comments over there should not be missed; I particularly admire this one, that The Left doesn't "want people to remember that their elitist thoughts about who should do our manual labor was responsible for most of the impetus for the civil war - which cost America some 700,000 souls." Again, that is the shit.)

(Below: Benito Mussolini and John Dewey confer on the best means of handling the Ethiopian Menace)

Comments

[Jay C.]

It's a shame there's a War on Xmas, because this is indeed the best present ever.

[Adolf Eichmann]

Damn you, grade-school teachers!! I could never have the influence that you have!!

[Jimmie]

Man, the very thought of this book is making you guys wet your pants. It's really funny to watch all the knee-jerk reactions, not one of which is actually based in those pesky little facts.

Rock on, guys. You're giving me plenty of great laughs today.

[SamFromUtah]

Man, the very thought of this book is making you guys wet your pants.

You would too, if you were laughing this hard.

..not one of which is actually based in those pesky little facts.

This is true, they're based on excerpts from Doughy's book.

[Charles Lindbergh]

I, too, like to laugh at the liberals who would have us entangled in foreign entanglements against the wishes of the close personal friends of my friend Henry Ford*. I'd like to ask you to consider a vote for The America First Party, jimmie, because the battle against Fascism can't really begin until Lucianne Goldberg says so.

* some really nice German fellows

[Thers]

I am so in love with Jimmie, as I am with anyone who would defend Jonah Goldberg by saying something objectively even sillier than the original idiocy.

[Kathleen]

I think I love Sam in Utah.

I didn't think I could laugh harder than I already have been today.

[Warren Terra]

I'm just surprised at how rarely I see people stepping up to acknowledge that this book is a very serious, thoughtful, argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care.

(My favorite nut comment at the link is the nice fella who, having been caught using the old Byrd! KKK! line and told the Democratic party disowned the KKK before WWII, replies Sorry if I failed to check what the state parties were saying. I guess I thought spawning off movements like the Dixiecrats and George Wallace were enough. Because obviously the fact the the Dixiecrats felt unwelcome in the Democratic party makes the Democrats more responsible for the Dixiecrats' views.)

[va]

Having only read the cover of Liberal Fascism, I must say I'm convinced. Never before had I made the connection that the Nazis first and foremost were socialists, and that the Holocaust was a natural extension of that platform--a fascistic attempt at social equality, just like vegetarianism. Indeed, as it turns out, Carrots Are Hitler. Why have liberals been keeping this information from everyone but Jonah Goldberg for all these years? I have seen the error of my ways, and will vote for conservatives from now on. It is now obvious that it is they who are unlike Hitler in every conceivable way.

[SteveB]

To be fair, Jonah isn't the only one unable to distinguish between an SS Stormtrooper and an elementary teacher. Old Mrs. Schuenemann, my own third-grade teacher, often became confused on this important point.

[Douglas Watts]

I never could get my tenth grade teacher to take off her brown shirt.

[Not Douglas Watts]

A Yong Mind is a terrible thing to waste.

[d]

More from Jimmie:

First, let me say that, contrary to what’s been said in this thread, the Nazis were not a right-wing organization.

Oh, God, make it stop!

[Fledermaus]

Jebus, at least know we know why Jonah isn't joining the military. Someone must stop the tyranny of third grade reading teachers!

[MikeJ]

I really want to know more about how much Jewish songwriters loved the third reich.

[julia]

First, let me say that, contrary to what’s been said in this thread, the Nazis were not a right-wing organization.

Oh, God, make it stop!

No, see, you're missing the point. The reason the Republican party in the thirties was in bed with Hitler and vehemently opposed efforts to combat him is that they had a sneaking tendresse for leftism.

Thank goodness that nice right-wing Mr. Roosevelt beat 'em back.

The right did manage to get refugee jews turned away at the border and sent back to the camps as their price for supporting war against the people who were at war with us, so it's not like it was a total loss for them.

[Captain Goto]

julia--the sad thing is, for jimmie et. al., your entire comment makes perfect sense.

[Captain Goto]

Oh, and for those who haven't been over to roy's place this morning, that nice fellow Michael Totten happened by...and got his head handed to him by the lovely kia. Good fun for all!

The quintessential liberal fascist isn’t an SS storm trooper; it is a female grade-school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore.

Oh yeah I remember all those good times in grade school when we saluted the Swastika and sand the "Horst Wessel Song" right before recess.

[actor212]

In point of fact, I had a classmate in the 8th grade named Yong Mind, and boy was HE indoctrinated!

All the girls tried to get him to neck with them.

[Alex Soojung-Kim Pang]

For my money, the greatest defense of "Liberal Fascism" so far comes from Blogs4Brownback:

In three short weeks, on January 8th, 2008, the world will be changed forever. Jonah Goldberg’s epic will hit the liberal establishment in the face and expose to to all what the left really is: a vile pack of fascists, carrying on the proud tradition of Mussolini and Hitler. This bombshell will forever change how people think about liberalism.

Blogs4Brownback declaring a book "paradigm changing" is high praise indeed, given that the site sells t-shirts that say "Heliocentrism in an Atheist Doctrine."

And don't forget the comments, which include such classics as "I think I can rig up a clockwork-orange type reading experience for our commo-libral-atheist friends. This will be fun."