Cut-Out Witch

by Molly Ivors

For a while now, as I've been trying to illustrate, Wednesdays and Sundays have been an opportunity to watch the bizarre psychodrama of Maureen Dowd unfold on the Op-Ed page of the NYTimes.  It's Hillary's fault, of course. Imagine a woman, without even the common decency of a cloud of crimson hair, who not only marries the smartest, best-looking boy (though of course it's not a perfect marriage), but also seems poised to, quite literally, rule the world! The gall!

(At right: Senator Clinton campaigns in Iowa, 2007.)

I thought she had scraped the bottom of the barrel when she quoted Caitlin Flanagan on how Hillary should rap with her girlfriends to be more appealing, but today, she beats that, quoting Rush Limbaugh largely without irony, to explain to us that Hillary has a "hag problem."

Whoo boy.

I'll allow Ariel herself to expand on this one:

And so the inevitable came to pass this week when Rush Limbaugh began riffing about an unflattering picture of Hillary in New Hampshire that Matt Drudge put up on his Web site with the caption, “The Toll of a Campaign.”

“So the question is this,” the radio personality said. “Will this country want to actually watch a woman get older before their eyes on a daily basis?”

..........

Limbaugh finished up with this: “Let me give you a picture, just to think about. ... The campaign is Mitt Romney vs. Hillary Clinton in our quest in this country for visual perfection, hmm?”

To be clear: at no point does MoDo note that this is unfair or a bad idea in any way. She goes back to the old Kennedy-Nixon setpiece which provides cover for an embarrassing number of her shallow forays into political commentary. She explains that Gore lost because he had bad makeup and "appeared condescending."  (Oh, well, that's okay then; sorry about all the dead people.) In MoDo's world, people are incapable of distinguishing between surface and reality, and that's just the way it is, so no point moaning about it.

Gee if there were only someone--perhaps even a whole industry--which might be able to consider candidates on the virtue of their positions and inform people what they need to know to make a responsible decision for the future. Oh, well.  That's just the way it is, so no point moaning about that either.

Senator Clinton has clearly made the case to the public that she's a competent public servant with a better than respectable grasp of the issues facing America. Plenty of people (myself included) disagree with some of her conclusions, but competence is not the issue. But here's a clue for you, Ariel: if Rush Fucking Limbaugh is where you go to get your memes, you're in poor company. He has made a career out of trashing Hillary Clinton. He's not, shall we say, a disinterested political commentator.

But let's look at the substance of the critique, such as it is. Limbaugh asserts, and MoDo willingly parrots, that no one (no man?) wants to watch a woman get older. That men, as they age, become more attractive and authoritative, but women become, in the words of the men she clams to know, "a hag or a nag or a witch or angry or hysterical." Now, MoDo notes, these are clearly gender-based abuses coming from sexists. But she still repeats them. Rush implies that, were President H. Clinton to move into the West Wing, she'd have "work" done to stay photogenic, because she would have to. (This despite that fact that it's the darling of the Christian Right, Mike Huckabee, who's the only one who seems to have had cosmetic surgery in this race.) How else is one supposed to parse the Limbaugh line: "There will be steps taken to reduce the appearance of aging"? Are we supposed to imagine a Donda West-like tragedy throwing the nation into chaos? Grow the fuck up.

Republicans have long believed that the mistake they made in 1960 was nominating Nixon to run against Kennedy, who they saw as a pretty boy. I was old enough to be genuinely offended in 1988 when Dan Quayle was brought on board because the ladies seemed to like him. Mitt Romney strikes me as another Quayle figure: An empty suit with a haircut and bleached teeth designed to distract those silly women voters from issues. I was pissed then and I'm pissed now at the idea that Romney, who should be laughed out of any decent country or at least have the word "Panderer" tatooed on his forehead, is a serious contender for the presidency. Romney's a whore, and it's my understanding they have to be good looking.  One more time, and slowly for the kids in the back: I. Don't. Care. What. My. President. Looks. Like. Help rebuild my country, respect its Constitution, and don't start stupid fucking wars. Is that too much to ask?

Is there a double-standard regarding aging in this culture? Sure. But as with most other things MoDo adopts as rallying cries, it's stupid and shallow and shouldn't be dignified on the Op-Ed page of the NYTimes.

What's worse is that she knows it. She completes this rumination by reflecting on the fact that Senator Clinton's campaign is still trying to humanize her: "It’s pretty pathetic, at this stage of her career, that she has to wage a major offensive, by helicopter and Web testimonials, to make herself appear warm-blooded." Pathetic indeed. It's a good thing no one's calling her a dominatrix cracking the whip over a (black) man or a queen bee who fantasizes about having male slaves, isn't it? Oh, wait. That was you, wasn't it?

Well I can see why any candidate would take your advice. My mistake.

Clearly, the nightmare of the last seven years  is as nothing when compared to the prospect of a president with saggy tits. And MoDo should know.

UPDATE: Can someone remind me why, exactly, MoDo has a place on the NYTimes Op-Ed page and Digby does not?

(Below: President Clinton  stumps in Iowa, January 2012.)

Comments

[tim quick]

Gee, I'm glad we live in a post-feminist society where no one's sexism anymore. Thanks liberal media!

(I think the worst example, so far, though is Matthews comment about Clinton endorsers "willingness" "to become castratos in the eunuch chorus" - nothing is beyond the pale anymore, apparantly. But it does add a certain cringe factor that Ariel, as you like to caller, is herself "Une femme d'un certain age".)

[Keith]

I don't care if the president looks like Quasimodo. I'll vote for the hunchback with a lazy eye and lisp if they will, as you put it, "rebuild my country, respect its Constitution, and don't start stupid fucking wars."

And any excuse for Modo to mention the condescending look of Gore in 2000. If I had to debate Monkey Boy Bush on national television, it would have been all I could do to make it off that stage without berating him up one side and down the other. Then I'd find Barbara and Pappy and give them an earful for raising such a twit.

[rea]

So Romney will beat Hillary in the general election because he''s prettier? Is that what these people are trying to tell us?

[actor212]

It's so nice to see MoDo slowly slip into the Althousian Manor, at the corner of Pamatlass Blvd and Anneapplebaum Drive

[Halloween Jack]

MoDo has a column because she won a Pulitzer. What the committee who gave it to her basically for snarking over Monicagate was thinking, I dunno, but she got it and that's that.

Since then, it's all been one big downer, because if she had any influence in Gore's defeat, then she's partly responsible for the consequences, and if she's not, then why bother? But now she's got another Clinton to pick on and everything's groovy again. In a way, she and Hilary are working on the same premise: let's bring the 90s back.

[Mike Schilling]

Limbaugh finished up with this: “Let me give you a picture, just to think about. ... The campaign is Mitt Romney vs. Hillary Clinton in our quest in this country for visual perfection, hmm?”

We begin to understand why Limbaugh has four failed marriages.

[Anthony Cartouche]

We begin to understand why Limbaugh has four failed marriages.

Not yet, Mike. So far he's only had three.

The next failed marriage that the Bloated Asshole undertakes will be his fourth.

[low-tech cyclist]

Maybe we can send Rush back through time and explain to his 1980s self how he ought to be dumping on Maggie Thatcher's looks.

All this means when Rush says it is that Rush is essentially out of ammo.

But if they can't fire MoDo, can't they at least move her to the NYT's arts/entertainment section? I've got no problem with cattiness, but hers is absolutely pointless cattiness.

[actor212]

We begin to understand why Limbaugh has four failed marriages.

Not yet, Mike. So far he's only had three.

Posted by: Anthony Cartouche

I'd like to believe he's divorced from reality, too...

[Hecate Demetersdatter, Runnymead Conspirator]

Love the use of "witch" as a slur. Thanks,MoDo, you fucking moron.

[Molly Ivors]

Hecate,
She calls it Hillary's "Old Hag" problem. Someone needs to punch her in the uterus.

[flory]

women become, in the words of the men she clams to know, "a hag or a nag or a witch or angry or hysterical.

And does the aging Princess Ariel even note the irony in this comment?

[Hoyt Pollard]

Rudy has obviously had some kind of eye job. Just saying.

[Stuart Eugene Thiel]

Consciously or not, Bush Sr. picked Quayle for VP for his resemblance to Bush Jr. Calling Dr. Freud! Calling Dr. Freud!

[Molly Ivors]

W is Dan Quayle without the gravitas.

[Diane]

I' sure there are some service people serving in God forsaken places that would love to look at a picture of Hilary as their Commander in Chief instead of looking at Bush knowing he has sold them out for profit and greed and does not give a damn about them.
Rush Limbaugh should be ignored. He is an ignorant, drug abusing, nasty man who is not honest or trustworthy.