To Elicit a Response
Oh noes, Al Qaeda is after Santa:
The FBI is warning that al Qaeda may be preparing a series of holiday attacks on U.S. shopping malls in Los Angeles and Chicago, according to an intelligence report distributed to law enforcement authorities across the country this morning.
I bet we could get an internets rumor going that the Islamofascists have promised to spare those stores and companies who say "Happy Holidays" and only to send their suiciders into the places saying "Merry Christmas."
It'd hit Insty in under 48 hours and by next week Bill O'Reilly would be all over that shit.


I bet we could get an internets rumor going that the Islamofascists have promised to spare those stores and companies who say "Happy Holidays" and only to send their suiciders into the places saying "Merry Christmas."
Actually, I think I did hear something like that. And like most things I've heard somewhere but can't really recall where or what the context was, it's probably true.
Posted by: Tom Hilton | November 08, 2007 at 04:35 PM
As soft as consumer spending already is, I'm not sure who they're trying to scare here. The Islamofascists would feel pretty silly if they ran into a mall screaming "booga booga!", only to find it populated just by the blue-haired ladies at the information booth and the guy at the Dippin Dots kiosk.
Posted by: CatStaff | November 08, 2007 at 05:19 PM
Maybe this scare is a way to pre-emptively excuse the flaccid shopping season, diverting attention away from the real causes?
Posted by: SamFromUtah | November 08, 2007 at 06:20 PM
I was just at an antiwar protest in a mall last week (seven people arrested, not a word about it in the papers) and the mall cop said we couldn't take pictures "because of 9/11."
If I had been a good American, that would have been reason enough, but, being a treasonous fifth-columnist for Al Qaeda, I asked for further explanation, and the mall cop said that if we posted our photos on the internet, the terrorists might be able to use the "information" contained in the pictures to plan an attack.
And, now that I've read this alarming news about Al Qaeda's holiday plans, I can see he had a point. If only they knew that the Cinnabon was adjacent to the Barnes and Noble and not at the other end of the food court, well, you can just imagine...
Posted by: SteveB | November 08, 2007 at 06:56 PM
Haven't we heard this every year since 2001? I remember everybody's being kind of jittery in December, 2001, because of those kinds of "reports."
I think we know better now. I'd like to hope that we do, anyway.
Posted by: Nora | November 08, 2007 at 07:37 PM
the mall cop said that if we posted our photos on the internet, the terrorists might be able to use the "information" contained in the pictures to plan an attack.
So, this would totally help the terrorists?
Glad it's not on the internet. That would be bad.
Posted by: Spokane Moderate | November 08, 2007 at 08:20 PM
Don't forget everyone gets a pony.
Posted by: Chancelot | November 08, 2007 at 10:18 PM
Maybe this scare is a way to pre-emptively excuse the flaccid shopping season, diverting attention away from the real causes?
That's about as good an explanation as any. Otherwise, this one is counterintuitive on just about every level.
Posted by: Me | November 09, 2007 at 03:20 PM