I told a friend at the anti-war march yesterday that we'd surely soon be seeing a Malkin post featuring pictures of the marchers as Dirty Hippies who are Not Polite and Quite the Spectacle, and sure enough, our bestest pal from the Right Blogosphere does not disappoint:
We’re just beginning to wade through our photos and video, but the difference could not be starker between the Eagles and the ANSWER mob. Here’s a quick compare-and-contrast between us and them....
Uh-huh. I was especially taken with the shot below, republished by Malkin, snapped by this fine fellow, who is horrified that this woman has on a T-shirt that says "fuck":
"Redhunter" says: "Just the sort of girl you want to bring home to mom." I think he's attempting humor of the variety that wasn't funny in 1957. Still, I'm guessing that this "girl," who looks to my perhaps untutored eye like a gorgeous woman with a functioning brain, probably doesn't give a rat's ass about impressing some wingnut blogger's mother. Just a feeling I'm getting.
Nevertheless. The Malkinite insistence upon how Good turns upon not cursing and Bad is all about the Islamofascism and the fuck-saying is given especial piquancy by my own recollection of the day's events. Which were... astonishing. Get a load of this.
Molly & I drove down with the kids: the 7-Year-Old was going to stay with a friend because he didn't want to miss his soccer game, but those arrangements fell through at the last minute, so he tagged along. And so we had him and the 3-Year-Old and the 1.5-Year-Old. Oy. But it's all family anyway; like, the 7-Year-Old knew NTodd would be there, & so he knew he would have someone to torment the whole afternoon, and was content.
But there was a bit of a glitch. We were meeting a bunch of Atriots from all over, and it was tricky to get everyone together and so forth. What happened was that because of where everyone's various journeys ended up, we decided to meet at the Archives... which was, amusingly enough, ha ha, where these people (see map) were meeting. Hooray!
Hijinks need not have ensued, and to be honest, it didn't really occur to me that they would. There were bunches of Gathering of Eagle people about (it took me a bit, not being a DC person, but then I put the map & 2 together and sussed it all out, having looked up the route etc. online earlier), but it was well before the actual march would get going, and, besides, who cares? We were there for a protest, not a fight. This is not an especially difficult concept for the adult mind to grasp, you'd think -- sort of like the distinction between life online and life in, um, life.
As we were waiting for our bunch to get there, I decided to amble. I had the 1.5-Year-Old in a backpack. If I stopped moving, the kid would squirm, and being fiendishly gifted in the infant arts, could conceivably wriggle out of the straps and thereby achieve his most devout toddler wish, that of killing himself in a comical fashion. Motion calmed him...
... And so I ambled. I had the camera around my neck, and while I was moving I thought I'd take some pictures.
Call it kismet, call it fate, but that's how I saw this guy -- the Guy with a Flag Sticking Out of His Ass.
I mean, it's not like the flag is sticking out of his chute, precisely, but it is firmly planted where the plumber flashes, you know? The dude has a flag in his pants! Between the cheeks! That's just goddamn amazing. So I took his picture. And my advice to you is, do the same. If you have a camera and you see a guy with Old Glory sticking out of Old Glory, preserve the moment. History demands no less.
When I got back to the others, I saw that the group we'd agreed to meet had shown. NTodd was there, and the 7-Year-Old was tormenting him, and so I said, "Hello NTodd, you bastard," and then to be polite, and to draw his attention to the colorful local scenery, I said, "Hey, you know there's a guy over there with a flag sticking out of his ass? He's got a flag sticking out of his ass! Really!" And NTodd said, to his great credit, "out his ass?"
And here's where it gets interesting. Apparently, some Gathered of Eagle person had been soaring about our perimeter, much like our national bird enjoys circling Alaskan fishing villages in the hopes of swooping in to slurp up salmon entrails. This gentleman chose this moment to accost us -- and by "us," I mean me and my infant son on my back.
Here is a photo of the self-styled Eagle in question. Note his bravery, in that he is willing to appear in public wearing a baseball cap with an index card of some sort dangling down his neck, a fashion statement ordinarily claimed exclusively by Saskatchewan-based meth addicts.
Now, let us pause a moment to recall that Ms. Malkin believes that her side has an enormous advantage because they don't say "fuck" on their clothes.
Got that? Good.
The guy pictured above introduced himself to me, and my infant son, by yelling, not 12 inches from my face, "Fuck you! Why do you want America to lose, you fuck! You don't have any fucking flags! How come you don't have any fucking flags, you fuck?"
Poetry, man.
In all seriousness, the guy was completely aggressive and looking for a fight. He got in my face and threw fucks around like grenades. When he could see perfectly well that I had an infant on my back. A fact I pointed out to him. To which he replied, "fuck you, I have the right to say whatever I want." As indeed he does. In America, you have the right to burn the American flag, and you have the right to scream the f-word aggressively at a father carrying a baby. Good for you.
I was not alarmed, really, or frightened, or even offended by the cursing. I was mostly amazed. I curse. I curse a lot. I don't deny it. I indeed revel in it. I think anger is an inevitable and indeed appropriate reaction to certain political circumstances, and thus angry language is sometimes ineviable and appropriate.
But it never, ever, would have occurred to me that someone would take it into their head to scream "Fuck" aggressively at someone holding an infant. I mean, I'm not an innocent, and so on... but, wow. This person was lost to all restraint. I told the guy that I would not discuss anything with him, that I was leaving, that there was a child present -- and I walked off. He followed.
NTodd at that point engaged the fellow, in part because NTodd just likes yelling, but also in part just to run interference (NTodd does have occasional good social instincts which appear at random intervals, much like sunspots).
Note that the 7-Year-Old is dragging Ntodd off, which cracks me up. Don't talk to the boring man! Buy me a root beer!
That was all a messed-up scene. That guy in the cap was, to put it mildly, enraged and, well, crazed. I do not care what the provocation is, and in his case there was nothing personal, only political, when you start screaming "fuck" and flexing for a fight in front of a child, you are a nutjob, nothing else, pure and simple.
If I wanted to get up on a plinth, I'd note that "redhunter" says he went with a flag on a 10-foot-pole into the heart of the protest, the 'die in" (we missed it and went back to the hotel, as the kids were beat, and the others wanted to visit the Wall) -- and that he was not accosted in any way by "the other side." Well, I was cursed out by "the other side," while I was carrying a 1 year old child, and hours before the actual march.
But I don't think this proves anything, and competitions over whose "side" is more civil and polite are inane. A lot of people on "my side" at the march were inane: no, silly person with a bullhorn, communist revolution is not the only solution. But what I will say is that if the worst of our "side" is indeed stuck in the past (Ramsey Clark does not need to be invited to speak anymore, thanks much, bleah), just speaking of Saturday, numerically, that part of the left that is antiquated is roughly equivalent to everyone on the Right that showed up as a counter-protester. So 1,000 nuts on the left, 1,000 kooks on the right, 49,000 people then marching saying "stop this war because it's dumb and murderous and pointless."
The ones stuck in the 60s are the wingnuts. Look at Malkin's pictures. Or look at this picture I took:
That's a Protest Warrior/Eagle Flapping person. I was interested mostly in the legend under the Confederate flag patch on his vest, though it didn't come out so well in the final photos. Anyway, it says "Hey Asshole -- Burn THIS Flag!"
Ponder that one for a while, grasshopper. If you dare.
It's pretty much just Wingnut Zen. It's Reaction distilled into purest moonshine. And even past that, just like this guy, an overwhelming proportion of these anti-protester dudes are dressing themselves in the shit Gregg Allman gave to the Goodwill in 1974. And everyone else over there was a College Republican (no snark embellishment necessary).
Just... pathetic.
I think there is a great deal of popular discontent in the nation right now, and rightly so. This is a misbegotten, deeply disliked war, and it cannot, apparently, be handled as the people wish by our nation's institutions, which we are supposed to believe are those of a democracy.
What I mean is, I believe we're close to a genuine crisis, where all the nation has left is a toxic cocktail of cynicism, paranoia, resentment, and apathy. And patriotism is reduced to a cartoon, where we all just stick flags down our pants and curse out imaginary hippies.
Fortunately, there was one person speaking into a mike who made sense. Here's the 1.5-Year-Old, charming some good fun folks with a PA:
You tell 'em, kid.
It's been far too long since I've said it: You rock.
NTodd's okay, too.
Posted by: Auguste | September 17, 2007 at 05:24 AM
Fuck, that kid kills me.
Posted by: watertiger | September 17, 2007 at 08:24 AM
That's hysterical. David Cross does a bit about flags and patriotism, and one of the best lines is "If you don't have a flag sticking out of your ass, the terrorists win!!"
You should have told the guy that ass-flag guy stole your flag and shoved it down his pants, to see if he'd go get it back for you. Good times...
Posted by: Ripley | September 17, 2007 at 09:38 AM
I scrolled down to the first picture and now I'm in love. With the girl and the t-shirt both.
Posted by: markg | September 17, 2007 at 09:40 AM
But Michelle's friend was saying "fuck" patriotically. Michelle can't complain about her f-bomb buddy because she'd be opposing patriotic harassment, assault, and law-breaking.
Michelle's friends may be deranged lunatics who are almost certainly going to start pipe-bombing civilians in 2009, but at least they're not opposed to unpopular and unwinnable wars waged by widely despised presidents.
Posted by: Wally Whateley | September 17, 2007 at 09:40 AM
I know Saskatchewan based Meth addicts and even they won't rock a hat like that
Posted by: olexicon | September 17, 2007 at 10:24 AM
You forgot the part where he physically assaulted you while you had an infant strapped to your back, you loutish Mick bastard.
Posted by: Snow | September 17, 2007 at 10:37 AM
I am so linking this entry, probably with the slug-line "It's not a play by Luigi Pirandello..."
Posted by: Interrobang | September 17, 2007 at 12:17 PM
Great story. Thank heavens you lived to tell it! :) There are a lot of crazed projectionists out there.
You have a wonderful wife, neat kids, and you aren't so bad yourself.
NTodd? Well, what do you say about a guy named NTodd?
Posted by: pie | September 17, 2007 at 01:18 PM
This is a swell post. That is all.
Posted by: Righteous Bubba | September 17, 2007 at 01:48 PM
Excellent.
And deeply instructive. Liberals have various reasons for opposing the war (fill in here), and no doubt those feelings are deeply felt expressions of personal belief, worries about where the USA is going, and so on. For many conservatives, though, the war is very much tied up with their egos and sense of self. Very personal. I can understand that with vets, but if this guy didn't fall into that categroy, then... whoa. He's like the guy who beats his wife when the Redskins lose.
Cute kid.
Posted by: KC45s | September 17, 2007 at 01:57 PM
Thers -
the guy stepped to you because you were carrying a kid. Pathetic but true. I have no doubt.
Posted by: dan mcenroe | September 17, 2007 at 02:55 PM
but if this guy didn't fall into that categroy, then... whoa. He's like the guy who beats his wife when the Redskins lose.
This guy stepped off when I told him to. I'm pretty sure he wasn't a vet. Didn't have the look and backed down quick when he saw my pretty little ribbon.
Posted by: Snow | September 17, 2007 at 04:15 PM
I'm on the other side of NTodd in the picture where the 7yo is dragging NTodd away from the cap psycho, strategically positioned to create some separation between NTodd and Cap Psycho.
The index card on the Cap read: "Fighting the Insurgency at home."
I enjoy being called a traitor.
Posted by: Snow | September 17, 2007 at 04:44 PM
I really love all variations of creepy middle-aged Republicans telling hot young liberal women, "Well, I wouldn't marry you!" Which is, realistically speaking, an insult on par with, "Well, I wouldn't take a dump on your carpet!", as if taking a dump on your carpet were the height of compliments.
Posted by: Amanda Marcotte | September 17, 2007 at 05:11 PM
Why do you hate Psychotic Mouth-Breathing Zombies from the planet Sphincter?
Posted by: Kevin Hayden | September 17, 2007 at 06:40 PM
Amanda: "Well, I wouldn't take a dump on your carpet!"
We 86 guys like that from the League of Extraordinary Rugmunchers.
Posted by: Kevin Hayden | September 17, 2007 at 06:43 PM
From the NY Times:
Before the antiwar marchers arrived, there was a brief physical altercation between some members of the antiwar group Code Pink and some of the demonstrators who said they were there to support the troops.
So give Mr. Index-Card-Hat some credit for his self-restraint. He would have gone farther and taken a swing at you if you had been dressed in pink. And if you had been a woman.
And when "Redhunter" says: "Just the sort of girl you want to bring home to mom", I think we should all understand that mom is in the basement, and she's been very carefully preserved.
Posted by: SteveB | September 17, 2007 at 07:08 PM
Not to get all weepy on you, but that was positively Dylan-esque.
I have been thinking something along these lines for a while, and putting parts of it into words here and there with comments along the way.
It is one reason that calls for increased civility resonate with me at the same time that I have absolutely treasured your firm grip on the well-timed F-bomb over the last few months.
Thanks.
Lovely kid, by the way.
Posted by: nick | September 17, 2007 at 09:55 PM
Bless those troops though, huh? And Michelle too! At least she doesn't smell like a hippie...
Posted by: Kevin | September 17, 2007 at 10:08 PM
LOL^lol
That flag out of the bunghole of glory, er, cracked me up!
Posted by: shirt | September 17, 2007 at 10:30 PM
I dunno, I think if I brought that chick home to my mom, she'd adopt her.
But, my mom's cool like that.
Posted by: MoxieGrrrl | September 17, 2007 at 11:29 PM
Bless those troops though, huh? And Michelle too! At least she doesn't smell like a hippie...
I assure you I have no desire to sniff Michelle Malkin.
Posted by: Thers | September 18, 2007 at 12:32 AM
This guy stepped off when I told him to. I'm pretty sure he wasn't a vet. Didn't have the look and backed down quick when he saw my pretty little ribbon.
Snow's right & I should've said so.
Posted by: Thers | September 18, 2007 at 12:33 AM
nick, thanks.
Posted by: Thers | September 18, 2007 at 12:42 AM
"Fuck you! Why do you want America to lose, you fuck! You don't have any fucking flags! How come you don't have any fucking flags, you fuck?"
You got to meet Frank Booth !!!
Lucky fucker. Did he take you on a joy ride ?
Posted by: Douglas Watts | September 18, 2007 at 02:14 AM
Seriously, Thers. Good for you and Mr. Pritzky. The true face of wingnuttia is exactly as you encountered ... a wound-up tensed up wired dude a few seconds away from whacking a 1 year old kid without knowing why. Hockey dad. Say no more.
Posted by: Douglas Watts | September 18, 2007 at 02:19 AM
Bless those troops though, huh?
Why?
Posted by: Fishbone McGonigle | September 18, 2007 at 10:19 AM
I assure you I have no desire to sniff Michelle Malkin.
Now, Thers, you must admit that young Kevin has hit on a foolproof and ironclad way of ending this silly back-and-forth about Iraq. If, as he claims, Michelle Malkin "doesn't smell like a hippie", then, Q.E.D., the Iraq war is a noble cause meriting the loss of thousands of American lives, millions of Iraqi lives, and hundreds of billions of our tax dollars. I mean, it's just simple logic, right?
Obviously, what's needed is for some independent olfactory expert to take a whiff of Mrs. Malkin and some randomly selected hippie, in order to answer this vital question. Then, at long last, our ugly and divisive national debate will be over, and we can give Kathryn Jean Lopez the unity she so fervently desires!
Posted by: SteveB | September 18, 2007 at 08:13 PM
Oh, by the way, I hear Kevin is now working on a way to settle the health care debate by the simple expedient of requiring Michael Moore to step up on a scale.
Posted by: SteveB | September 18, 2007 at 08:17 PM
SteveB -- hee hee.
I wandered over to his site, where I discovered he likes to indulge in toast, cartoons, and fantasies about exterminating every living Palestinian, starting with the children. He's for cute.
Posted by: Thers | September 18, 2007 at 10:33 PM
I was standing right not far away.
I swear, at first, I thougth it was a friend of NTodd's.
I mean, he was smiling the whole time (Todd, not the psycho).
I was tipped off when a vein start throbbing on the Crazy Man's head.
Posted by: Culture of Truth | September 19, 2007 at 12:55 AM
That picture of your kid at the microphone is the best thing I've seen this week.
Posted by: Dave | September 19, 2007 at 05:18 PM
Didn't you see anyone on the other side of the fence you could like? None at all? Or was it just the loud ones behaving rudely that you noticed?
I had people smile back at me, and shake my hand, and tell me I should be on the same side of the fence that they were, because everything on my sign they believed in also. Some even hugged me. Maybe because I wasn't screaming, or cursing, or doing certain popular hand gestures. Just smiling, nodding at people, singing as loudly as I could, and holding my sign.
The sign said "God Bless Our Troops"
The song was "God Bless America".
And yeah, I was on the other side of the fence from you *grin*. Isn't the ability to speak freely wonderful?
Posted by: JoAnn from VA | September 21, 2007 at 05:38 PM
JoAnn, that's nice.
Big hugs.
Posted by: Thers | September 21, 2007 at 10:33 PM
Great post! I don't know who said it first but I am going to borrow "Wingnut Zen". And NTodd rocks for taking that fellow away from the kiddo!
Posted by: Eureka Springs, AR | September 22, 2007 at 11:58 PM