This is exciting! "Fred Thompson Has Joined the Blogosphere," reads the banner proudly displayed over at Red State, where he's begun posting. And I'm absolutely delighted to report that he fits right in over there. It's really refreshing to see that an individual of his stature and accomplishments is fully capable of writing bullshit every bit as moronic as that dropped by by the usual rabble of nondescript Right Blogosphere mental patients.
Oil prices fell. The stock market rose. Video images of smiling British soldiers with Iranian President Ahmadinejad were everywhere. So were pictures of the 15 freed hostages embracing family members back home. The relief over the return of the Brits was so tremendous; you could almost hear birds singing.
Maybe it's because military action won't be needed or maybe it's just because the ordeal won't drag on and on, but the world is breathing easier now. A lot of folks are happy.
And of course you know what's coming -- anyone so foolish as to be happy at the lack of a war is a fool! A fool, I say!
The problem, as I see it, is that Ahmadinejad seems to be the happiest.
And why shouldn't he be? He has shown the world that his forces can kidnap British citizens, subject them to brutal psychological tactics to coerce phony confessions, finagle the release of a high-ranking Iranian terror coordinator in Iraq, utterly trash the Geneva conventions and suffer absolutely no consequences.
As an aspiring Preznit, you'd think Thompson might explain what these "consequences" ought to have been. You know, so The People might have a chance of deciding whether or not they could have been inflicted without incurring far worse consequences, like, say, another ill-considered war. But as a Republican in the process playing to the wingnut base, of course, he keeps his trap shut tight on this question, though. No, he's shrewd enough to instead fling this bit of red meat to the vicious little puppies -- a li'l bit of the hate on the Journalists:
Some in the West seem part of Iran's propaganda war; claiming that the release of the hostages was a victory that proves the Iranian dictatorship can be reasoned with. To misrepresent unpunished piracy as a victory is as Orwellian as the congressional mandate banning use of the term "the global war on terror." What are we — Reuters?
Ahmadinejad must be particularly pleased to see "deep thinking" journalists making the case that American actions in Iraq were the true cause of the kidnappings.
O! Lawks a' Lawdy! The dreaded "Some," of "Some Say" infamy!
I'm beginning to think that these wicked Some are even more perfidious than The Left, who at least has a website, so we can track him down if necessary. Hell, The Left is even easier to find than these Deep Thinking Journalists who are making Thompson so whiny. Who are they, pray, when they're at home? On this issue the good Senator is, strangely, silent.
The rest of the post is just scattershot wingnut gibberish, though a couple of bits are worth dropping upside down into the bell jar to watch them twitch their hairy little appendages. Also, they're really easy snarkbait.
Tee 'em up, Senator!
I have no idea if Ahmadinejad and those who put him in power really believe the Shi'a Twelver doctrine that they can spur the messiah to return by triggering Armageddon. You have to admit, though, that the possibility that they look forward to entering paradise as martyrs would make them a whole lot scarier as a nuclear power than the USSR ever was.
Yes, indeed, putting nuclear weapons in the hands of people who believe in apocalyptic religious scenarios involving the Middle East would really be a bad idea.
And then there's this, on the Consequences of Withdrawal:
If we retreat precipitously, the price for that betrayal will be paid first in blood and freedom by the Iranian people, the Kurds, the Afghanis, the secular Lebanese, the moderates in Pakistan and the Iraqis themselves. And America's word may never be trusted again.
"Again"? America's word isn't trusted now, because we started a war based on bullshit, and then fucked that war up royally. Kinda does a number on your credibility, there.
Right now, the pirate Ahmadinejad is clearly more confident about the outcome of the Global War on Terror than we are. That ought to give us pause.
Pirates! Eeeek! Are pirates scarier than clowns, though? 'Cause I'm not really buying Ahmadinejad as a pirate. Looks a lot more like a clown to me, frankly.
But it's more fun to wingnuts to pretend he's a Pirate, over at the geopolitical Chuck E Cheese that is Red State.
UPDATE: They've replaced the Thompson banner over at Red State. Now it's this:
I'm certainly not fucking seeking Him over at Red State. Pretty vulgar, guys.
Anyway, thrillingly, Thompson's blog debut has already been set to music.
