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January 27, 2007

C'Mon Polluted Eyeballs

I'm delighted to announce the discovery of a new wingnut imbecile with a gift for truly horrible prose: Michael J. O'Shea, of The American Thinker. What's cool about O'Shea is that unlike other specimens who write like they wear their 18th century wigs powdered in the purest cocaine, he is not afraid to suck in a uniquely American idiom -- hardboiled detective:

Iraq and the Ghost of Johnnie Cochran

It was a wickedly simple strategy. It still is. Killer becomes accuser, cop gets crucified, killer walks.

Brentwood the stage then, Baghdad the stage now.

But the play is the same.

O'Shea likes declarative sentences. And the occasional fragment. He's a wingnut.

With attitude.

He once took a creative writing class.

Got a "C."

Damn Liberal Professors.

He sat in his recliner, munching Doritos.

They would pay. Soon.

As soon as he could get to his computer.

As soon as he could generate enough energy. Enough energy to put more than two complete sentences together.

Into a single.

Paragraph.

They would pay.

After his nap.

(horked from LA Confidential Pantload here)

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Comments

Good god, I hope that's not the Michael O'Shea we know...

Aw, come on, I love hardboiled prose. And incomplete sentences. And don't get me started on those dangling participles. Hubba hubba!

I think you need to write another book. You've got too much time on your hands.

Reading wingnut prose is well known to destroy brain cells.

Eet was a weekedly seemple story.

Eet steel ees.

SNUFF Radio station becomes accuser, blogger gets crucified, SNUFF Radio walks.

Brentwood the stage then, San Fran the stage now.

But thees time, the play, she ees different.

For now ees the time for ¡The Wrath Of Spocko!

¡Dah-dah-Dahhhhhhnnn!

Pulp writing is my favorite. However, a little campy writing goes a long way.

There is no civil war in Iraq. There is no sectarian war in Iraq. There is a power war in Iraq to see who rules - and how.

A power war: I begin to understand.

write like they wear their 18th century wigs powdered in the purest cocaine

**
this just makes me want to smell their hair.
(the knack of writing is in the details)!

It was a dark and stormy night.

Suddenly a shot rang out!

And they lived happily ever after.

It's Puffy Bill!

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